Testa t'ammazzo, croce... sei morto - Mi chiamano Alleluja

This is a film about a gunslinger who owns a machine gun that's also a sewing machine, a nun who is a secret agent like James Bond, and a Russian Prince who does Cossack Kung Fu – Let's see what IMDb commentator Ed the C has to say about it:

QUOTE "How did Mexico get Revolvers before the US Army in the Civil War? Maximillian's reign in Mexico ended just before the Start of the American Civil War. Amazing. The Revolver was Brand new Technology at the Start of the Civil War. First guns were a powder Charge and pellet, the Movie Shows a rapid firing revolver which was not introduced until the early 1870's. In 1847 appeared the First Colt Revolvers used by the Texas Rangers. But it was not a "Fan" firing revolver seen in the Movie. The War against the Comanche's an early version of the Revolver was used but it was hammer-less thus incapable of fan Firing."

Thanks, Ed the C – your last name has three letters missing from it.

This is one of Guiliano Carnimeo's daftest, and therefore most entertaining, Westerns, For his fourth film of 1971, George Hilton plays anti-hero who rescues a Mexican general from execution by using his machine gun/sewing machine combo on the Mexican army. The general then gives him the task of recovering some valuable jewellery, but of course there's a gang of hoodlums after it too (led by the usual corrupt businessman), and a nun who is a secret agent, and an uppity Russian prince who blows up bad guys with a guitar doubling as a rocket launcher.

This film is not about realism, you might get that when George uses a birthday cake with dynamite for candles to blow up the bad guys, or when he puts laxative in their food and they all crap themselves, or when he shoots someone over his shoulder without looking. Or how about when the nun climbs up a telegraph pole and uses a gadget to send a message in morse code?

I don't know how he does it, but Guiliano Carnimeo manages to find the balance between comedy and violence that is painfully lacking in other Westerns about this time. Maybe they just don't go far enough, but Carnimeo packs the film with absolute madness, and then turns the film into an eighties action flick at the end for good measure! I suppose George Hilton helps, with his Latin charm and quips (some of which make no sense) – looks like there was a sequel to this one too!

Oh, good music as well, plus, the cinematography is by future director Stelvio Massi!

Mysterious gunfighter George Hilton totes around a sewing machine/machine gun and offers his services to a group of Mexican revolutionaries seeking a stash of jewels held by the Spanish government.

The first half of the movie is mildly interesting, thanks to a fast-pace. However, things get bogged down after awhile, with too much in-your-face direction, slapstick, and silly characters, like a Russian cossack!

Hilton is as amusing as ever, even if his character, like all the others in this movie, is a bit cardboard. The sewing machine and the scene where he removes a bullet with a corkscrew alone makes the film worth checking out.

Any film with a title as memorable and eye-catching as "Heads You Die, Tails I Kill You" has a lot to live up to. Luckily this one does.... well, for the first half at least.

The story centres around George Hilton's character named "Halleluyah" (thus the films alternative title "They Call Me Hallelujah"). He has been hired by Mexican general Ramirez (Roberto Camardiel) to steal jewels from the army, allegedly to help fund the revolution.

The beginning of the movie is very strong, as Ramirez is led to the firing line by the army, to Ciprani's fantastic score. Some onlookers are already grieving, but proceedings are intervened when Halleluyah appears with his very novel machine gun. Great stuff.

The plot has more twists and turns than, ummmmm, a very twisty turney thing! It is not just Halleluyah searching for the jewels, but a secret agent disguised as a Nun (Agata Flori), the Russian Alexei (Charles Southwood) and a gang of arms dealers led by Fortune (Paulo Gozlino).

Whilst the movie is a real roller-coaster of a ride, it does reach new levels of stupidity with the introduction of Alexei. As I said at the beginning of this write up, the film doesn't disappoint - it just (in my opinion) has one eccentric character too many. This makes the second half just a bit too farcical to me at times.

Most of the best scenes are based around Halleluyah's interaction with the gang - particularly near the beginning where disguised as monks they successfully steal the jewels (and soon face a confrontation with "Brother" Hallelujah). There is also a hilarious scene in which our hero poisons the gang's food, resulting in much belly ache and diarrhoea enforced swift exists! As far as the cast are concerned, Hilton makes a good leading man for the less serious westerns. Regular spaghetti stalwart Federico Boido is also well cast as the weasel like gang member Slocum.

I would definitely recommend this film (despite my reservations about the Russian!). It is a well plotted, good fun view, with enough double crosses and twists to keep you interested and entertained throughout.

By the 1970s, many spaghetti western filmmakers decided after years of making serious spaghetti westerns to start making some that were more comical in nature. "They Call Me Halleluja" (a.k.a. "Heads I Kill You, Tales You're Dead") is one such western, and overall it's a pretty fun exercise. It's goofy fun almost right from the start, with assorted slapstick and various other comic touches (a machine gun sewing machine.) The peppy score by Stelvio Cipriani is the icing on the cake. The movie is not perfect - there are a few moments when it seems that linking footage is missing, and in the second half of the movie, the characters seem to forget about the treasure they had previously been seeking. And the second half also starts to get a little tiresome with its seeming padding. But overall, if you like spaghetti westerns and you are not in a completely serious mood, this movie will do nicely.

I bought a copy of this film from an on-line cult-movie dealer solely on the basis of its title: HEADS YOU DIE,TAILS I KILL YOU. This is one case where a spaghetti western lives up to its nifty title. Though a bit overly-plotted, this is a machinegun-paced, fun oater. More in common with the westerns of Howard Hawks and Burt Kennedy than the sweltering pasta dishes of Leone and Corbucci. Holds your interest throughout its running time. Great script.