La schiava io ce l'ho e tu no

Italian sex comedy with Lando Buzzanca and Catherine Spaak

This film by Giorgio Capitani, which is also known in German-speaking countries as "EIN GLÜCKSSCHWEIN MUSS KEIN FERKEL SEIN / A lucky pig doesn't have to be a piglet", lives up to its title above (DER GROSSE SCHWARZE MIT DEM LEICHTEN KNALL). A slight bang is an understatement. In the years around 1970, Lando Buzzanca, born in 1935, was the star in many Italian sex comedies, which, even in retrospect, are quite embarrassing (though one should keep quiet about the nonsensical stuff that was being filmed in German-speaking countries at the same time... I just say "report films"!).

In this film from 1973, Lando Buzzanca plays Demetrio Cultura, a Fiat dealer in beautiful Palermo who has a bizarre luxury problem. Although he is married to the rich and beautiful Elena (Catherine Spaak), he is increasingly unable to tolerate her snobbish ways. And the confused Demetrio is also very annoyed by the overly spirited outbursts of his passionate lover Elena. Somehow the good Demetrio is a man of a very old breed and not made for modern women. Then he accidentally hears about a crazy German in Argentina (muscle guy Gordon Mitchell in a brilliant supporting role) who provides submissive "slaves" from Latin America to similarly overwhelmed men like Demetrio. No joke! Demetrio gets on the plane, goes into the jungle with the behaviorally suspicious Mr. Von Thirac (...and "Mondo Cane" immediately comes to mind) and actually picks out a lovely jungle lady named Manua (Veronica Merin). Back in Palermo, the stupid Pasha lets his "slave" serve him from start to finish. The climax of the escapades is reached when Demetrio lets his Manua pull him through Palermo in the rickshaw. It doesn't take long for his fellow citizens to react...

This sex comedy really takes some getting used to. Politically incorrect, one can only be amazed at what the Italian filmmakers got up to. As already mentioned: In German-speaking countries, even stranger things were unleashed on cinema audiences in those years. At least "DER GROSSE SCHWARZE MIT DEM LEICHTEN KNALL / The Big Black Guy with the Slight Bang" still works reasonably well as a satire on machismo and the desire for submissiveness. There was probably something in the air in those years that this film could touch a certain nerve. The great thing about Lando Buzzanca is that he always makes a fool of himself. The man who is overwhelmed by the passage of time makes himself ridiculous and not the "enslaved" woman. The rest of the cast is worth seeing and makes the film a big slapstick that is entertaining and not to be taken too seriously.

One can always be amazed at what could be admired in the cinema in the wild seventies.

I almost recused myself from reviewing this film, as I've never enjoyed the work of "comedian from the South" Lando Buzzanca, who starred in many a drive-in stinker I sat through in the '70s. But since no one has chimed in at all, here goes.

THE SLAVE astounded me as to its unrelenting tastelessness, even in a genre known for its low humor -the latter-day Italian sex comedy. Most interesting result is seeing at least one Continental comedy (alongside many incest offerings) that definitely won't get the Adam Sandler, Jim Carrey or dreaded Chris Rock remake treatment.

Buzzanca, boorish and irritating rather than funny from the git-go, is the owner of a Fiat dealership in Palermo who is fed up with his "ballbreaker" of a wife, played by very lovely Catherine Spaak, who was a real European star at the time this desultory film was shot.

Weird premise has him hearing of a German creep (very well played by B movie great Gordon Mitchell, almost stealing the movie) who sells human slaves down in Argentina. Lando wings down there to buy one - a beautiful woman who will feed his massive ego and solve his problem of having to deal with trendy "emancipated" females. Chris Rock -I dare you to try and get away with that level of misogyny!

Before the gimmick moves into high gear in the second half of the movie we have to suffer through endless slapstick, scored to "Muppets" type comical music. Lando is carrying on an affair with luscious redheaded MILF Adriana Asti (a first-rate Italian actress, slumming here -she was working for the very best directors in Europe, like Visconti, Pasolini, Bunuel, Bertolucci and De Sica). Both Asti's and Spaak's beauty helps divert one from Lando's unfunny antics front & center.

The slave Malua he buys turns out to be Caucasian, as the filmmakers apparently drew the line at out & out racism (I would have preferred that they go whole hog). She's played by 1-shot actress Veronica Merin, quite beautiful and topless in nearly every scene. I suspect the general awfulness of this project doomed her career.

The reactions back home in Palermo to the slave are predictable, as Lando flaunts her, especially to his understandably envious buddies. The Asti subplot is kept going artificially and film climaxes when Lando's obviously illegal and downright nauseating behavior gets him in trouble with the police.

Key scene from director Giorgio Capitani (who with better scripts made a few winners, notably I HATE BLONDES and the tough Western THE RUTHLESS FOUR), has Malua running through downtown Palermo pulling a rickshaw containing smug Lando. It was evidently shot guerrilla-style, with extras waving at the camera, and some shocked at the stunt. It typifies the fact that the entire film was kind of a stunt -examining how low comedy can go and still remain palatable. Recall this is long before the Farrelly Brothers and others moved gross-out humor to a central position in the so-called "entertainment" spectrum.