Tie jin gang da po zi yang guan

How does one dare to describe the pure majestic brilliance of this outlandish chunk of cinematic history in just one essay? Holy smokes, I'll give it a shot. Superlative, majestic, confronting, heart renching and above all really good and stuff are just some of the adjectives I will use to describe this emotional rollercoaster of a 35mm brilliance. I was so excited when I first saw Stoner, that I punched my elderly neighbour in the back of the head. Move over Steven, step aside Martin and go home Quentin, Feng Huang is here and he means business. From go to whoa this film packs non stop underpant exploding action that'll have you begging your best mate's auntie for more. Apparently this film was so popular in Amsterdam, that men started shaving off their eyebrows and colouring their armpits with lipstick in a effort to emulate Lazenby's modern-day Hamlet, Detective Stoner. Thank god Jack Palance turned down the role of Stoner or we would not have been treated to such a enigmatic foray into the world of contemporary cinema from The Georgie Lazmeistser. All in do you self a favour, buy yourself some cheetos and a bottle of Distilled Water and treat yourself to a night-in of hard-core provocative entertainment. 3 thumbs up, Cheers George, thanks for the good times. Keep on trucking you crazy cat.

Lazenby plays Stoner, a cop who in search of a organization who makes "the love pill" that is killing and spreading the market in Australia. Angela Mao only has a supporting part for top billing, so it makes me wonder if she is the lead (with more footage) in the HK version. The dubbing is terrible, but good action scenes helps. Look for Sammo Hung and Kurata Yasuaki as the bad guys fighter.

...perhaps I ought say "distilled" rather than refined - this film embodies the concentrated essence of the trashy 70s action flick, a heady brew for the irony-poisoned minds of today's trash conisseur's minds (e.g. mine).

"Stoner" (as it was labelled at my local rental store) opens with a shot of an urbanely smug 'Asian drug lord' kicking back in his office. The walls are all red, his desk perpetually rotates, and there's a big map on the wall covered in flashing lights. The mere shock of the decor alone sets the tone for the remainder of the movie - jerky fight scenes, needless sexploitation, and pornstar swaggering all drenched in polyester and enveloped in a funky soundtrack punctuated with some very strange moog.

Needless to say, it's hilarious. George Lazenby, incidentally, proves himself pretty useless throughout the film, both in-character and out-. The real star is Angela Mao, rolling her eyes about furiously and kicking arse in the surprisingly good final fight scene. I guess George's role was played up for Western release so we'd have a strutting, obnoxious white guy to relate to.

George Lazenby shows some impressive agility as a kung-fu expert (as an actor, he still sucks!) and Angela Mao is a real fighting powerhouse, but they still can't save this incredibly choppy, incomprehensibly plotted and atrociously dubbed action film. I gave up on trying to follow the "story" early on; you should give up on even thinking about ever watching this movie. (*1/2)

If a movie studio can be corrupted by its own success, this movie must be the proof. Golden Harvest made really good movies in its first 3 years of existence. They made lot of money, but the success must have gone to their heads, because this movie is an absolutely the bottom of the barrel.

First off, the actors in this movie is terrible (except Angela Mao and Betty Tin Pei). The usually high production quality and attention to detail Golden Harvest gives to its production isn't seen here. Story is pretty unintriguing as well.

You can't make a horrible movie like this even if you tried, but I guess they've succeeded in doing this. It's not a bad movie in a sense that there are badly made movies that has utterly nothing going for it. This movie is not bad, it's HORRIBLE in the way things are depicted.

So there you have it, one of the worst movie done by Golden Harvest. This one is it.