L'invasione dei contadini assassini

I was compelled for quite a long time to watch Invasion of the Blood Farmers, which has been described as the "companion" to Shriek of the Mutilated (one of my favorite schlocky films). The same folks behind that masterpiece created this one. I finally caved in and bought the DVD. From the opening scene, where the victim is stumbling down the road looking like he's doing some strange dance while people in the bar (called the Huddle 2, no less!) make comments about him being loaded, I wasn't disappointed. Very similar to Shriek in many ways, unfortunately, down the to background music, which is by a composer named Bohuslav Martinu, I've learned. Great soundtrack, but this similarity kind of detracted a bit for me. But there are some great moments....and some familiar faces, for those who have seen Shriek! You'll see a lovable, kooky old professor and his protege that discover a blood sample that grows and looks like fizzy cherry soda! A freaky druid later sucks the blood from a dog...which suddenly becomes a white shaggy bathroom rug! Weirdo druids and their queen who rests in a plexiglass coffin! The bottom line, though, for me was that it wasn't quite as compelling as Shriek...the end, for example, was kind of lame and predictable. HOWEVER...if you are one of those who are into this kind of cheese-a-rama horror (which, for me, differs from those who are into slasher movies) you will enjoy.

A young couple run into a deadly rural Blood Cult. Oh, and let's not forget that there's a guy named Jim Carrey (yes, that's the characters name.)

Written and directed by the guys that gave you "Shreik of the Mutilated", "Invasion of the Blood Farmers" is one of those really bad but hilarious cheap independent horror movies that came before the likes of "Halloween" changed the way horror is done. Much like "Mutilated" and "The Corpse Grinders", you can't help but laugh at the proceedings.

The acting is bad (when is it not in these kinds of horror movies?), the cult wears garb that looks like something a Klansman would wear, the movie is rarely coherent, and yet, you never feel bored while you watch it. It's the kind of horror movie that is insanely bad, yet is bad in an enjoyable way.

Fun fact: There was a great Doom Metal band named "Blood Farmers" named after this (well, yeah), who are worth checking out.

"Invasion of the Blood Farmers" is a B movie to treasure. It's overflowing with the kind of priceless ineptitude that makes movies like this so much damn fun. The acting, for the most part, is terrible, the dialogue is riotous, and the premise absolutely delicious.

It involves farmers who are also druids, harvesting the people of a rural area for their blood. Investigating the corpse of one person who managed to get away, scientist Roy Anderson (Norman Kelley) and his loyal student Don Tucker (Bruce Detrick) find that his blood is able to increase in amount on its own.

As they do their sleuthing, the Druid in Charge, Creton (Paul Craig Jennings) explains the whole motivation and plot just to make sure we get it.

This movie will stink up your joint something fierce; as co-written and directed by Ed Adlum, it provides laughs consistently enough to make it palatable for 77 minutes. The sound effects are appropriately disgusting, and the bargain basement gore is wonderful in its tackiness. Kelley is a gas in the lead, with fumbling support from Detrick, Tanna Hunter as his daughter Jenny, Richard Erickson as Sontag / Kinski, and Frank Iovieno as Police Chief Frank Spano. They're all "good", but Jennings, the one person in this whose acting borders on competent, is an utterly campy delight. The best exchange happens when Iovieno is interrogating Erickson; Erickson gives him a long winded, b.s. answer to a question, and Iovieno responds with a deadpan "Oh, okay, I think I understand". Sexy young Hunter and other ladies provide a little bit of eye candy.

Highly recommended to those cult movie fanatics who should have a great time enjoying it with beers and buddies.

Five out of 10.

In rural New York, fiendish farmers are abducting people and harvesting their blood! Have the dastardly druids of old returned to appease their gore-loving gods? Or, have aliens arrived to siphon the populace dry? Or, both?

Local scientists uncover blood that increases in volume, while bloodstains refuse to be cleaned up from the floor of the local saloon! Can science unlock the secrets of the INVASION OF THE BLOOD FARMERS?

Beware! If the sight of pink blood makes you ill, stay away! If fuzzy dogs turning into car wash buffers makes you retch, steer clear! If the thought of a man showering causes you intestinal distress, run away, now! If farmers frighten you, then, well, flee immediately! There are actual farmers in this film! In straw hats and overalls! With a barn!

IN ADDITION, THERE IS: #1- A bellowing scientist with flyaway hair! #2- A jiggling man, jabbering like he's being electrocuted and staked to an anthill, simultaneously! #3- A space hippie / druid, who speaks as though he's rehearsing for the play-within-a-play sequence in HAMLET! #4- A shirtless hillbilly with an ax! #5- A staggering drunk, staggering to his own theme song! #6- A sheriff who sounds an awful lot like Frosty The Snowman in a mob movie!

All this in a town where it's always broad daylight, even at night! And! So! Much! More!

A non-produced, misdirected, miraculous shambles! Hyper-schlock addicts rejoice aloud! Thy deliverance is at hand...

Invasion of the Blood Farmers sure is a great title; shame that this trashy slice of '70s schlock doesn't live up to it. Written by Ed Adlum and Ed Kelleher, who also scripted the equally impressive sounding Shriek of the Mutilated (1974), IOTBF is nowhere near as much fun as it sounds, the wooden performances, clumsy direction (also by Adlum), dreadful editing, and dire script adding up to a rather painful 84 minutes of amateurish drivel.

The premise for the film is that a group of druids (known as the Sangroids) are abducting and killing people in their search for the blood-type that can revive their queen (Cynthia Fleming). Over the course of the movie, several victims are drained of their blood before the druids finally target pretty blonde Jenny Anderson (Tanna Hunter), daughter of scientist Roy Anderson (Norman Kelley); her blood turns out to be just the ticket, and it is up to fiancé Don Tucker (Bruce Detrick) to rescue his love from the druids before they can complete their ritual.

There is, admittedly, a little fun to be had from the film's sheer ineptitude: laughable scenes include Jim Carrey's tongue waggling death scene (no, not THAT Jim Carrey), the death of Jenny's dog Buster (the animal turns into a flokati rug as druid Agon kills it), and a rocky start for soon-to-be-dead newlyweds Mr. and Mrs. Greenman, hubby Milton opting to take a long shower rather than see to his young wife (Lucy Grant), who waits eagerly on the bed in sexy underwear. But as unintentionally funny as these moments are, they cannot adequately compensate for the lifelessness and shoddiness of everything else.