La maledizione di Frankenstein

The Erotic Rites of Frankenstein (1973)

*** (out of 4)

Dr. Frankenstein (Dennis Price) finally makes his monster human after putting a brain into his skull but shortly afterwards the doctor and his assistant are murdered and the monster stolen by a mysterious bird woman who was sent by the evil Cagliostro (Howard Vernon). Soon Dr. Frankenstein's daughter (Beatriz Savon) seeks revenge for the death of her father.

Jess Franco's THE EROTIC RITES OF FRANKENSTEIN is without question a rather wild, over-the-top and downright batshit crazy film that rarely makes a bit of sense but that's what makes it so darn entertaining. The movie is a complete head-scratcher and it makes you wonder what must have been going on inside of Franco's mind but there's no question that it's a major improvement over his Dracula, PRISONER OF FRANKENSTEIN.

This film here, like most of the director's work, is available in two versions. The French version is also known as the "hot" or the "nude" version as as you might guess it contains a lot of female and male nudity. This here is certainly the version you'll want to check out because, well, if you're going to watch an "erotic" movie then it might as well feature nudity. This version adds a lot of erotic stuff, which adds up on the camp factor but with that said there's still reasons to watch the non-nude Spanish version. The Spanish version has Lina Romay in the role of a gypsy and this is missing from the French version.

Again, if you're coming to this film expecting something normal then you might be as nutty as Franco himself. The plot of this thing is rather crazy and all over the place. The fact that there's a bird woman here with green feathers on her body is a clear indication that you're not meant to take this too serious. The silver toned Frankenstein monster is another interesting visual but so is a sequence where all sorts of masked weirdos are watching the events. Add in some bizarre torture scenes and some really whacked out scenes of Dr. Frankenstein being brought back to life and you've got a wild little picture.

To all of you out there who think that the likes of Steven Soderbergh and David O. Russell epitomize independent film-making: go rent this film and let the scales fall from your eyes. Made during director Jess Franco's amazing early 70's period, post Harry Alan Towers and pre-porno, The Erotic Rites of Frankenstein is a surrealist masterpiece, poetic, perverse, comic, and mesmerizing. Shot for next to nothing on location in Portugal, the film is full of evocative, wide-angle, hand held imagery that must have appeared jaw-droppingly innovative at the time, and still astounds today. Daniel White's atonal, experimental score skillfully enhances the film's nightmarish languor, and the roles, particularly Anne Libert's blind cannibalistic Bird Woman, and Howard Vernon's strangely sexy Cagliostro, are performed with aplomb and conviction. You won't soon forget the scenes of white-shrouded undead gliding through a mist-laden forest, the strange, red-lit shots of Cagliostro's acolytes blithely staring at cruel tableaux orchestrated for their perverse amusement, or a shrieking, silver-skinned Frankenstein's monster relentlessly whipping a man and a woman tied together over a bed of spikes. Anyone who doubts Jess Franco's talent should rent this DVD, and then ponder the pettifogging morass that independent cinema has become.

I am generally a big fan of the highly prolific exploitation filmmaker Jess Franco, yet it is undeniable that his impressive repertoire includes ingenious films as well as big time stinkers. While this "Erotic Rites Of Frankenstein" of 1972 is not one of the most awful films Franco has ever brought to screen it definitely ranges among his lesser ones. The film has its positive aspects, including a certain delightful weirdness, but it is overall a bit too messy, and often quite boring. Still, for my fellow trash fans, there are some reasons to see the film. This is the first film ever starring Lina Romay, who subsequently became a Franco-film-regular and sleaze-queen. Romay was only 18 when this film was made, and she became director Franco's wife some time later. The film's storyline is weird and very absurd, and basically typical for a Franco flick. I will not go into detail, but I'll say this much: The story revolves about an insane scientist/sorcerer named Cagliostro (regular Franco-film star Howard Vernon), who has a cult of devoted freaks in his castle, and wants to create a human 'masterrace' by crossing beautiful women with Frankenstein's monster. Or whatever. Sounds like a lot of weird fun, I know, but sadly the film gets quite tiresome at times. There are two versions of the film, one of which is a lot sleazier. They basically shot the whole film twice, with the exact same things happening, only that the women are mostly clothed in one version and mostly fully naked in the other. My DVD contains the more prudish version, with the more explicit 'alternative' scenes as a bonus feature. I strongly recommend to watch the sleazier version, of course, since the sleaze factor is arguably the most recommendable thing about the film. The female cast is lovely to look at and mostly naked (in the interesting version). Also, there are some ridiculous and amateurish, but delightfully weird outburst of violence. The cinematography and settings are also very good. Howard Vernon enjoys a certain cult status among many of my fellow exploitation fans, and rightly so, if I am considered. The guy was certainly not the most brilliant actor ever, but he fit very well in the trashy Eurohorror roles that he played. Vernon's repertoire ranges from some excellent films (such Jess Franco's very own masterpiece "Miss Muerte") to god-awful (such as Jean Rollin's dreadful "Zombie Lake") and his presence actually makes films like this one a lot more worthwhile. This film of many aka. titles (such as "La Maldición De Frankenstein") is watchable (in the explicit version) for its weirdness, but one shouldn't expect too much. Among the Franco films I've seen (and those are quite many by now) this one doesn't rank at the very bottom, but it certainly ranges in the lesser half.

A silver-skinned Frankenstein's monster - now that's different. One thing is for sure, this isn't your bog-standard Frankenstein film. Whereas most movies based on Mary Shelley's legendary creation are content with one mad doctor and one monster (two at a push), Jess Franco's The Erotic Rites of Frankenstein features three insane scientists - Dr. Frankenstein (Dennis Price), his daughter Vera (Beatriz Savón), and the villainous Cagliostro (Howard Vernon) - plus a whole slew of strange creations, including a blind bird-woman called Melisa (Anne Libert), a bloke with pointy ears, some living skeletons, and assorted ghouls.

In the film's opening scene, Doctor Frankenstein is murdered by Cagliostro and Melisa, who make off with the scientist's shimmering, shambling monster, intending to mate it with their creation, a perfect woman, to create an entirely new race. To be honest, the shambolic plot doesn't make a lot of sense (like a lot of Franco's stuff), and the film's limited appeal is its sheer insanity and some gratuitous nudity. The most bonkers scene sees the shiny monster flogging a naked Vera and an equally starkers man, who are bound together, until they fall on a floor of rubber spikes. If that sound like fun to you, then by all means give it a whirl, but this isn't one of Franco's better efforts.

More hot hacienda action the ol' Franco way, featuring many of the sets, actors and characters from "Dracula: Prisoner of Frankenstein". "Curse" does in fact exist in two versions, as the "proper" version is called "The Erotic Rites of Frankenstein" and is roughly the same as "Curse" aside from that fact that in several scenes the characters have miraculously lost all of their clothes. Curse is the censored and "clothed" one, which also unfortunately includes an additional number of scenes not present in "Erotic Rites" which depict a gypsy girl called Esmeralda wandering around a wood and talking to an under-acting old woman who doesn't even appear to realise that she's being filmed. Needless to say these scenes have absolutely sod all to do with anything else and, in an act of pure sadism, Tartan Video decided to release this longer version onto DVD.

Being fair to it, "Curse" is a lot better than "Dracula: Prisoner" and with some alterations could even have made a tolerable 70s horror film in its own right. Its core plot isn't too far removed from the Hammer films being churned out at the time and there's some vaguely interesting stuff going on in it. However, that doesn't mean to say it's any good. Mercifully, Franco has vastly cut down on the number of crash zooms though still seems to have problems in focussing the camera a third of the time, and most exterior footage seems to suggest that every building in Spain is situated on an ungodly ground subsidence. The musical score is also questionable, giving us some nicely eerie tunes here and there and then assaulting us with jazzy percussion tempos during key action scenes, such as when Frankenstein's monster breaks into a poor young lady's bedroom and leaps on her on the bed. Ah yes, there's some naughty hijinks going on in this film – including a truly nasty whipping scene that goes on for too long (and is even worse in the "Erotic" version, simply because one of the people being whipped is a nude 50 year old man – urgh…) – but certainly nothing to get heated about. Then again, Franco's idea of erotica seemed to be to just point a camera at a naked woman and stay there for 30 seconds a throw. Ho hum.

Dr Frankenstein (Price) is reanimating a somewhat shinier version of his monster, with help from his assistant, Morpho (what is Franco's fetish with the name 'Morpho'???). Despite playing the title character, Price is killed approximately two minutes into the film. Now, poor old Price's characters often have a run of bad luck. I've seen him getting throttled, impaled, drowned, drained of blood, tipped into acid and "excited to death", but I think I wouldn't be wrong in saying that Curse gives us the most novel method of Price dispatchment: bitten and bled by a blind and cannibalistic bird woman. Mmm. There's something to write home about. The bird woman and a gurning helper steal Frankenstein's monster and take him to the true villain of the piece, Cagliostro: a ranting nutter who doesn't blink (yes, it's Howard Vernon again, far better playing some bloke we've never heard of than the legendary Count Dracula). Cagliostro initially seems to want the monster to steal lots of virgins for him but then decides that he wants to create the ultimate woman as a bride of sorts for the monster. Quite why I don't know but I'm sure if he had the chance he'd list his reasons. Frankenstein's daughter, Vera, comes to pay her respects at her dad's funeral, following which she steals the body and reanimates it back at the "castle" to learn who did the poor bugger in. Eventually she reasons that the best way to get her revenge on Cagliostro is to let herself get captured by his monster and… um, get hypnotised into being his completely willing slave. Yes. Erm, not quite sure what she was getting at, there. In any case, that's the status quo and it's not even including the activities of the good Dr Seward, wandering around the plot and chatting to people (probably looking for Bram Stoker for an explanation as to what on Earth he's doing there).

I said it wasn't as bad as "Dracula: Prisoner" and that's true. For a start, it can only tarnish the memory of one horror staple rather than three, but aside from that it at least seems to know where it's going half the time. Most of this is thanks to the dialogue, in stark contrast with its prequel; yes, this time characters actually talk to each other, a revolutionary concept if ever I've heard one. Dr Seward actually gets stuff to do here and even comes across as a decent enough hero character (even if he does try to chat up Vena at her dad's own funeral – yes, really), having a hand in the baddie's downfall as opposed to his spare part status in "Dracula: Prisoner". Dennis Price appears several times throughout the narrative despite the seemingly overwhelming drawback of having been killed but spends most of the time lying on a bed, twitching spasmodically and rambling about his monster and Cagliostro. From what I can make out, Price seems to be giving an… interesting performance (in other words, going over the top to exceptional degrees) but as it's dubbed in Spanish with English subtitles I can't really tell. Eventually Frankenstein dies after one ramble too many, only to come back from the dead as a (somewhat mincing) zombie who staggers into the next room to have a go at strangling Dr Seward. Price's demise is finally made certain when a police inspector chucks a container of acid over him, which seems to disintegrate Price's head in 0.5 seconds. Golly.

And then, 20 minutes later, it sort of... stops. I ought to be grateful that it ended at all.