- David Tao: There's nothing wrong with him that retirement and a healthy bowel movement wouldn't cure.
- Evelyn Randall: What can I do for you?
- Dr. Peter Carey: Tell me about your daughter.
- Evelyn Randall: My step-daugher. I'm not old enough to have been her mother.
- Dr. Peter Carey: Oh, really?
- Evelyn Randall: [offended] Yeah. Really!
- Dr. Peter Carey: Well, if you say so...
- Dr. Peter Carey: [after angrily slapping Joshua Randall's arm to deter him from stirring a sauce] Will you stop that Julia Child bit!
- David Tao: I think I'll move to Hollywood and, uh, deliver babies for movie stars.
- Dr. Peter Carey: Movie stars don't have babies, they have... agents.