- Lurcio: [after Cassandra's prophecy; to the camera] Oh, she's very embittered, you know. Very embittered. You've seen the ring she had on? Well, allegedly, that was given to her by her fiancé when she was eighteen, and he jilted her, and she hasn't had it off since! Poor dear!
- Lurcio: [Lurcio is behind a bush and after a few minutes, produces a watering can] What are you looking at? Anyway I wasn't so don't think about it.
- [first lines]
- Lurcio: [during the opening credits when Frankie Howerd is displayed in small letters] Oh come on, bigger!
- Lurcio: [the name gets bigger] Don't be ashamed of it!
- Lurcio: [now bigger] Bigger!
- [now even bigger]
- Lurcio: Bigger!
- Lurcio: [the name is now very large, and most of it has disappeared] Alright, don't go mad!
- Ludicrus Sextus: [during Vesuvius' eruption] I say, Lurcio, how did my speech go?
- Lurcio: [in the rubble] Master, you brought the house down!