Una città chiamata bastarda

That's the question viewers continually ask themselves while watching A Town Called Hell.

Mexican Colonel Martin Landau wants Aguila captured, while former revolutionary Robert Shaw, now a priest knows what Aguila looks like but he's not telling and Stella Stevens thinks Aguila may have murdered her husband (when not lying in a coffin, pretending to be a corpse!), offering twenty thousand dollars to the person who points him out.

Macho posturing, a great all-star cast including Telly Savalas as the towns sleazy mayor, and strong visuals are all wasted on a confusing script and bad editing in this wannabe spaghetti western made by British filmmakers in Spain and set during the Mexican Revolution.

Everything's cleared up in the film's weird final scene, but by that time the viewer is so mentally exhausted as to no longer care! However, I'll grudgingly recommend this strictly for the action sequences and an odd dance-hall scene featuring a soundalike cover version of Johnny Horton's hit song "The Battle Of New Orleans", featuring a few verses I've never heard before!

When I see a late night film with 'bastard' in the title, I'm inclined to tape it and find out what it's about. (I've taped this twice and lost both, found it on DVD, seem to have lost that too). Yes it was listed as "A Town Called Bastard" by the BBC.

If you're one of those people who think a good Western needs Mexicans (e.g. The Wild Bunch) this has plenty: sombreros, moustaches, guns, tortilla-preparation, cruel laughter etc. A lot of these Mexicans die, perhaps somewhat gratuitously. So if you like guns and death in sunny Mexico, and you'd like to see Telly Savalas as the Mayor of a town called Bastardo - you'll love this.

e.g. "Who killed my husband?" demands the pale blonde: cue an old woman to shout the name from a high building - gun out, excellent shot (like shooting ducks at a fairground), another one bites the hot dry dust...

The rest has already been well covered by other user comments, worth watching if this is your sort of thing.

This star-studded British/Spanish co-production looks great, what you can see of it. I have three versions, two VHS, one DVD, and all are terribly cropped, so badly that it looks as if buildings are having conversations with each other. Few films suffer as badly from pan and scan as this one, as director Robert Parrish seems to have been so enamored with the widescreen process that he tended to use both sides of the screen at once, neglecting the middle. Another user comments that we see the entire inhabitants of a church massacred at the beginning; not in any of the copies I have. There are some abrupt cuts of peasants firing their rifles, one Mexican officer is shot, Shaw and Landau celebrating, and that's it. We never find out why Shaw has become a priest (if he really is), we never find out what happens to Don Carlos (Savalas) although I suspect he was called home to star in Kojak, as his departure seems arbitrary. And there is a strange flashback sequence where Michael Craig (Mysterious Island) is dancing around in a bowler hat and bad suit in the great old English music hall tradition to the 1960 hit BATTLE OF NEW ORLEANS, not sung by Johnny Horton here but with some lyrics I've never heard before. On the plus side, the location is great, a huge old ruined fortress with Escher-style stairs leading nowhere, some nice scenery-chewing by Robert Shaw, and good performances by Stevens, Landau, Lettieri, and Telly Savalas as Telly Savalas. I didn't really like this film, but I haven't exactly seen it. I will seek the widescreen version and make my decision then.

This isn't a spaghetti western as some people have labeled it to be, seeing that there was no Italian involvement. Instead, it was a co-production between the United Kingdom and Spain. However, it all the same looks and feels just like a spaghetti western despite having an American (Robert Parrish) in the director's chair. Parrish certainly gives the movie a nice gritty feeling. Unfortunately, he seems unable to do much with the script. The story starts off making a reasonable amount of sense, but eventually starts to get very confusing thanks to the multiple characters and the various twists and turns. It doesn't help that a lot of the dialogue is poorly recorded, making it hard at times to figure out what the characters are saying. In the end, the movie becomes somewhat boring due to the confusion, as well as the fact that there is a lot less action than you might think. It also wastes a very interesting cast, who all seem to know they are stuck in a lesser movie and give half-hearted performances as a result.

I'm not going to write a synopsis for this movie because

1 ) Unlike many reviewers I don't normally write a synopsis

2 ) I'd have to understand a movie in the first place

The problem with A TOWN CALLED HELL is that lot of things happen but none of them seem to tie in with the plot . The film opens with a bunch of Mexican revolutionaries attacking a town in 1895 then the story jumps forward to the same location ten years later where the revolutionary leader is now a priest and someone who the audience has no knowledge of rules the town in a similar manner to Mr Kurtz in HEART OF DARKNESS . A woman arrives offering a bounty for the body of the man who killed her husband . Other things happen that make little sense and the story is made even difficult to follow by characters continually appearing and disappearing . For example did Don Carlos live or die ? Your guess is as good as mine . We are also shown a lengthy flashback sequence and it only becomes obvious that it's a flashback after the fact

This is a badly developed , badly edited and confusing movie but not one that is unwatchable . Indeed it's a fairly entertaining movie if you can stomach the sadistic attitude and what a lesser film this would have been without Telly Savalas executing everyone who gets in his way with the most memorable sequence being the hanging scene . Just a pity we never find out his fate for certain . Also of worthy note is the sentry getting killed via barbed wire and LOVEJOY's side kick revealing himself to be a mean assassin . Does this all sound very silly ? Of course but it's also entertaining in a morbid sense

As a footnote this movie was often screened on British television under the title A TOWN CALLED BASTARD and the town is referred on screen as " Bastardo " so that title would be more accurate but I guess TV companies get a lot of complaints and now call it A TOWN CALLED HELL to save on the switchboard staff