Marianna, fuga dalla morte

Somehow this film manages to be boring as hell even with the lovely Susan George all over it, and in her prime too.

This disjointed relic from British Cinema's Bronze Age features George as a bonne viveuse who is keeping her distance from a dis-functional family which threaten to unravel her hopes of a normal romantic life, and all because she possesses within her mind the secret swiss bank account number which contains her inheritance, which will be entirely her's when she reaches the age of 21. Various losers try to get her to come across with the goods and they certainly take their time with it. And for some odd reason Maryanne tags along with their schemes right up till the last minute even though she knows who she's dealing with. It's kind of confusing.

There is a cheesy song about Maryanne at the end, and the opening credits are rather dated, with Ms. George doing her best go-go dancer routine.

Pic is routine in all respects and a real timewaster! Marketed as a horror film, it's nothing more than a boring tale of a dysfunctional family trying to lay their mitts on a numbered Swiss Bank account containing incriminating documents, along with a sizeable amount of cash. Poor Marianne is about to inherit this stash on her 21st birthday, but her father and sister want to grab it from her. Nothing horrific (nor even interesting) here.

The cast is decidedly drab and unattractive (even toplined Susan George is unflatteringly photographed)and performances are strictly of the stock variety. Potentially interesting Portuguese scenery is also wasted by the pedestrian set-ups employed by helmer Pete Walker.

Director Walker made a few mildly interesting films ("House of Whipcord", "Frightmare") along with a goodly amount of dreck. Thankfully he retired in '82, saving viewers from further boredom.

It's hard not to have a soft spot for Pete Walker. He was an impresario of British sleaze, genuinely making sexploitation and low budget horror films, and gleefully mixing the two.

"Die Screaming Marianne" is an outlier in his filmography. Despite the title, it's not a horror film, and there's no sex or nudity. It's more like a crime thriller, and Walker was not, by any stretch of the imagination, a thriller director.

The titular Marianne is played by the ravishing Susan George, an actress so effortlessly sexy you don't even mind that she doesn't get naked, even in a subpar film like this. She is also probably the best actress Walker ever worked with.

Marianne's mother died when she was a tried and inexplicably bequeathed to her a large sum of money and proof that her father, a crooked judge, is a crooked judge.

Her older sister in after her for her money, and her father wants the proof - though what it could be I can only guess.

Marianne escapes from her creepy family and goes on the run. She has a truly chance meeting with an utterly uncharismatic, birdlike '70s hairdo sporting creep, who almost runs over her in his convertible. After a few harsh words, she decides to come with him, and a few scenes later, they are married. The creep has an undue interest in the certificate that says they are really married, hinting that he is obviously involved with Marianne's sinister family, and yet when he looks at the certificate, he finds she has instead been married off to the much more preposessing Eli, played by Barry Evans, an actor best known for failing to snatch the sexploitation actor crown from Robin Askwith.

If you aren't yet getting the feeling that the movie's plot was made up on the spot, consider this: if the creep was in on the conspiracy from the beginning, why was his original meeting with Marianne so obviously by chance? They could have at least made it look somewhat staged. He couldn't have possibly met her that way on purpose, and yet the movie later seems to think he did.

Eli is a much better fit than the creepy '70s throwback fossil, and he and Marianne seem to get along, but pretty soon two large men pose as police officers and pluck him off the street and take him to a dingy back room that looks like part of an adult book store. They sit him down, offer him a cigarette, and one leaves while the other leisurely appears to consider different murder weapons. He takes a gun and screws and unscrews a silencer, and then wraps a length of cord around his hands the way murderers do. Seeing this, and given a fantastic opportunity to escape, Eli does so. He does, admittedly, have to fight off one of the guys on the way out, with a little pocket knife.

Remember what I said about the movie feeling made up along the way? If those two men were going to kill Eli, why did they take him into the room before they had even decided what weapon they were going to use? If they had a gun and a silencer, why would they even consider a length of cord?

Eventually, Marianne and Eli decide to go back to her family in Portugal. Why isn't really explained, but Susan George is such a great actress you can actually believe this decision, which, truth be told, is probably another example of idiotic plotting on behalf of the screenwriter.

Scenes in the movie often seem to end out of nowhere. There is a scene where the judge talks to a man, and the man suddenly makes choking noises and slides out of the frame. Scene over. I guess he died. Was he killed? By who? The judge? They didn't even seem to touch each other.

The ending also comes out of nowhere, but it actually manages to be sad, mostly due to the amazing presence that is Susan George, and the fact that she and Barry Evans (RIP) had real chemistry.

Come to think of it, all the actors in "Die Screaming Marianne" are better than the flimsy material deserved. Their presence, together with the ridiculousness of the movie's plot, staging and editing, kept me watching, and kept me entertained.

I'm a big fan of Pete Walker's exploitative style of horror and Susan George rates very highly on my '70s crumpet-ometer', so I was pretty stoked at the prospect of finally watching 'Die Screaming, Marianne', which sees Walker directing the lovely actress as a free-spirited young woman on the run from those who will stop at nothing to get their hands on the contents of a swiss bank account for which only she holds the numbers.

Unfortunately, this early attempt by the director to break free from his sexploitation roots sees him struggling to find his feet, the plot meandering all over the place, the pacing dreadfully slow, with very little of the bolder elements that would make his later films so much fun; in fact, if it wasn't for George, who looks absolutely stunning throughout, go-go dancing in a bikini during the opening credits, modelling some very short dresses, relaxing in a bubble bath (curse those bubbles!), cavorting in her underwear, and wearing just a towel while trapped in a sauna (Die Steaming, Marianne?), 'Die Screaming, Marianne' would qualify as a total snoozeathon.

3.5 out of 10, generously rounded up to 4 for IMDb.

I'm a great admirer of director Pete Walker and I personally feel that most of his horror films unquestionably belong to the absolute best independent British productions ever made! Titles like "Frightmare", "Schizo" and "House of Whipcord" are downright GREAT genre films with genuinely shocking plot-twists and an almost natural aversion to political correctness. Back in 1971, Walker made his very first attempt to do horror with "Die Screaming Marianne" and, to my own regret; it wasn't a very good one. The story largely feels like a failed crossover between a crime-thriller and the Italian giallo (which was also hugely popular in that era) and it's still too similar to the silly & light-headed sex comedies that Walker used to make previously, like "School for Sex" or "The Four Dimensions of Greta". The ravishing star Susan George plays the headstrong girl Marianne who flees from her parental mansion in Portugal and hooks up with a duo of typically British friends. Her infamous father (a former corrupt judge) and her wicked stepsister need her back in Portugal urgently because Marianne will soon turn 21 years old, and then she has access to her deceased mother's fortune as well as the dirty family secrets. This is a very basic description of the film's story and there are loads of unimportant sub plots and incomprehensible twists that aren't really worth mentioning. The screenplay is stunningly incoherent and abruptly jumps from one sequence to another without even trying to make sense. New characters are introduced swiftly and they travel back and forth between Portugal and London like it's an ordinary day trip. And yet, despite all its flaws, "Die Screaming Marianne" surely has potential and it's interesting viewing for Pete Walker fans, as he already approaches some of the topics that'll become his hobbyhorses in later films. The judge character played by Leo Genn, for example, is a typically corrupt and perverted figure that smuggles away all his dirty acts and the stepsister is a greedy bitch who'd do anything for power and money. Other positive elements include some nice set pieces, a catchy title song and a beautifully staged scene inside a sauna! Susanne George is magnificent but her two male counterparts are odd-looking idiots. Like another reviewer already pointed out, this film becomes much more interesting if you watch it with Walker's audio commentary on, as he amplifies many bits and pieces that are shown poorly in the actual film.