The Yin and the Yang of Mr. Go

(There Are Some Spoilers) In all the world you couldn't find a more unscrupulous unprincipled and sleazy individual as the "Evil" Mr. Go, James Mason, an international power broker working out of his home base in Hong Kong.

Mr.Go works in concert with the equally "Evil" and corrupt Japanese banker Ito Suzki, King Hu, who both would even sell their own mothers out, if the price was right, to the highest bidder. Having US weapons expert Robert Bannister,Peter Lyn Hayes, rescued from a plane that was shot down and crashed in Communist China Mr. Go wants to get information on the Side-Winder Laser Beam that the USA has perfected that would not only make nuclear war obsolete but impossible. This Side-Winder Laser would render nuclear weapons useless by destroying their ability to detonate and thus cause them to fall harmlessly to the ground like a coconut falling off a coconut tree.

Knowing that Bannister wouldn't talk and that if he has him killed he'll never get the secret of the Side-Winder Laser Mr.Go lets him go free and then gets in touch with Tah Ling, Irene Tsu, his former lover and her obnoxious boyfriend Nero Finnighan, Jeff Bridges, a deserter from the US Army in Vietnam, and frustrated James Joyce wannabe writer. Mr.Go wants to get to get the uncooperative Bannister into a compromising position so that he can blackmail him into giving him that important information about the Side-Winder laser beam.

Nero getting Bannister drunk and then taking him to a whorehouse he get him with his pants down as well as having Bannsiter do some very kinky and crazy stuff ,together with himself, on film. When later confronted with the evidence of him being a sexual pervert Bannister gives in and give Mr. Go all the information about the Side-Winder Laser Beam so that his bosses from CIA Chief Parker, Brodrick Crawford, on down so they don't find out about his sick and sleazy secret life.

Living up to his reputation as a two-timing lowlife and first class sleaze-ball Mr. Go, with the help of Suzuki, has both Nero & Tah Ling kidnapped and later to be killed so that they'll never be able to spill the beans on what the two did to Bannister in getting him to open up and talk. It's just then when a miracle happened and the "Evil" Mr.Go is made to do a complete 180 degree turnaround and became a good kind and unselfish person saving both Nero and Tah Ling from the fate that he and Suzuki had in store for them. In the end Mr. Go even gives away the blueprint of the Side-Winder laser beam, to every nation on earth, making the horrors of a nuclear war impossible and thus truly bringing "Peace in our Time".

The Budda who during the cycle of the fifth month every fifty years emits a beam, if world conditions warrants, from his third eye that hits a chosen individual and cause him or her to change the course of history. This time the wise Budda choose the "Evil" Mr. Go and made him the person who would end the fear of nuclear destruction and bring peace to all Mankind.

You just don't know what to make of this movie since it's about a very serious subject but comes across, especially with it's goody-goody bubble gum music soundtrack, like a cross between a 1960's Frankie Avalon Annette Funicello beach party movie and a late 1950's and early 1960's teenage Rock&Roll musical.

The action chase scenes shoot-outs and fights are hilarious but it doesn't seem to me that they were made to be that way but were so badly done that they came off looking ridicules and silly. The US government gets the British M16 to try and bring in both Dr. Go and Nero together with Tha ling as well as Bannister by having their top spy Mr. Leo Zimmerman, Jack MagGowran,put on the case. Zimmerman ends up screwing things up even more by first getting smashed over the head with a coffee pot by Nero then later getting himself shot, by what looked like Ito Suzuki's thugs. Thus allowing not only Nero Mr. Go and Tah Ling to escape but having them release the secret blueprint about the Side-Winder Laser Beam to the world! This puts Zimmerman and his spy organization the British M16, as well as the CIA & KGB, out of business.

Directed by veteran actor Burgess Meredith who also had a role in the movie as Dolphin a weirdo Chinese acupuncture druggist wise man and what looks like some kind of a high priest as well as and undercover sleazy power broker, much like Mr.Go, all rolled into one. The movie "The Yin Yang of Mr. Go" is worth seeing not only to see for yourself that a movie like it was actually made but even more surprising just how the makers of the film were able to get top actors, back in 1970, like James Mason Broderick Crawford Jack MagGowan as well as Burgess Meredith to be in it? That has to be without a doubt the ultimate $64,000.00 question.

This utterly bizarre film is the closest you'll get to the Jess Franco experience without actually watching one of Franco's efforts. This is made even more remarkable by the fact that it does have a pretty starry cast, and not old has beens like Franco feels obliged to work with. The songs are truly awful although anyone who can get the word "meretriciously" into a lyric can't be all bad.

I remember the first time I saw that movie...my jaw was stretch and was probably touching the floor. I didn't know then and I'm still wondering if this was a masterpiece from an unknown director or a huge waste of celluloid. Honest to god I found that film to be one of the funniest I have ever seen. Problem I don't know whether it was meant to be that way !!! Watch it, enjoy it... P.A.D.

I picked this up at the Dollar Tree along with a bottle of Ajax dishwash liquid, a box of Fiddle Faddle and some Tums. All are gone except for Mr. Go (facilitating my consumption of the Tums) which still remains.

Now, not all $1 discs suck. I've picked up old Sherlock Holmes flicks w/ Basil Rathbone for a buck and enjoyed them thoroughly. But Mr. Go? Ach du lieber! I really can't add anything to the madness. Worst of all, I can't get that bizarre song out of my head, when Jeff & Jack go zipping around Hong Kong in a couple of rikshaws. "Got to be free... Freee.. weee!". WTF!?!

I was only in the bar for a quick drink. It was hot outside and I figured a cold beer might knock off the oppressive stillness of it all.

As promised, the Shiner hit the back of my throat like an alpine breeze. I clutched the bottle to my brow, letting the cool condensation roll over my eyebrows. Luckily, the bar had no windows, so the dark inside was a fine respite from the tenacious sun outside. No windows allowed that surly teen of a star force his rays inside.

And then I saw him.

He was sitting in a corner, holding his gin and tonic with both hands. For a moment, he raised his hand to his mouth, maybe questioning something? Then, as swiftly as it happened, the thought escaped him and he waved away the lingering memory.

I recognized it immediately. I had to talk to him. He was one of the few who had slogged through the same terrible adventure as I. Maybe, by speaking with him, I could alleviate his pain.

He didn't even look at me as I approached his well-padded booth.

"If you had heard I were killed," I asked him. "Would you still be afraid?"

"That's when I would be afraid the most," he muttered to his drink.

There it was, a shared connection. I had been correct in my assumption about this broken man. He was just like me and had seen the same horrors.

He had seen "The Yin and Yang of Mr. Go."

We sat in silence, each nursing our own drinks, our own chance at forgetting.

He shook his head. "Did you know that lesbian rape scene is the opening credits?"

I had to admit I didn't. The scene in question had been so shocking, so unexpected when it happened. The opening credits, I had blissfully ejected from memory.

"I didn't catch it the first time," he confessed.

"You watched it a second time?" I asked. "Why?"

He closed his eyes and lowered his head. With his chin resting on his chest, he whispered, "I don't know... I don't know...."

A deep, ragged breath and sigh. He looked at me, a fellow victim. "If tomorrow is in question..." he started.

"And your meditation is interpreted by what lies ahead," I answered.

Yes, his pain was deep. Seeing it brought back my own pain: the stilted dialog, the terrible soundtrack, the gratuitous breasts that made us both (I am sure) feel skeevy because they looked they they belonged to a 14-year-old. I shuddered and reached for my cigarettes.

Not missing a beat, my companion lit a match and held it out. "Puff the magic dragon," he sighed.

I was afraid to accept, but only did so to oblige him. We sat in the still of the room, smoke and nightmares swirling around us.

And when he cried, I only held out my arm to comfort him. Like our connection in the bar, it was brief and disturbing. We had both seen the horror. It was not something we could share with others.

We both knew our warning would fall on deaf ears. "But Jeff Bridges is in it!" our companions would say. "What about that narration by Christopher Lee?"

Oh, what of it? Of all the things that should have made it right, there was only so much wrong a man could bear. James Mason is a fine actor, yes, but playing a half-Chinese\half-Mexican crime lord is too great a burden. And the script, written by Burgess Meredith? No finer form of torture has been devised, even if directed by the man himself. No. It was too great a passion that burned in that idea and all involved were singed by its efforts.

"You know that Peter Lind Hayes played Mr. Zabladowski in "The 5000 Fingers of Dr. T?" I asked. I hoped to lift the mood.

"Very atomic," my companion said, and then laughed. "I guess he got to lay some pipe!"

We both laughed until tears covered our faces. Then we cried and held each other. We had been there. We had seen it. We had both been through "The Yin and Yang of Mr. Go".