The Phynx

Nice to see the old TV Stars from the 50s and 60s but the movie overall is not worth watching for any other reason. It was nice to see actors like Clint Walker and Johnny Weismuller on the screen once again. The movie, however, has no character to it what so ever.

Communists have kidnapped some of the most important people in the world. Specifically, the "Snatch List" of favorite personalities is: George Jessel, Dorothy Lamour, Colonel Sanders, Butterfly McQueen, Edgar Bergen, Charlie McCarthy, Xavier Cugat and Johnny Weissmuller. They are being held hostage in the Communist bloc country Albania. Naturally, this shocks the free world. As you would expect, the US secret spy group SSA (as CIA) is called into action. Of course, they ask super-computer MOTHA (or Mechanical Oracle That Helps Americans) for help. Check out her slot. The plan is to, "Form a pop musical group and get invited to Albania." They musical group "Phynx" will be trained as spies, get invited to Albania, and free the hostages...

The rock 'n' roll stars selected for spy stardom are the following quartet: bespectacled collegiate protester Dennis Larden, Native American "pansy" Ray Chippeway, handsome young jockey shorted A. Michael Miller, and "Afro-American" TV ad pitchman Lonnie Stevens. During a later orgy, Mr. Chippeway's "pansy" potential is undermined. While the group is being trained, the nasty Communists from Albania kidnap more American leaders. A TV news reporter (Rona Barrett) reveals the new victims as Maureen O'Sullivan, Pat O'Brien and Patty Andrews. Most shocking of all is the kidnapping of Busby Berkeley. Many more disappear, including boxing champion Joe Louis. As was hoped, the Phynx achieves Beatle-like status and is invited to Albania...

In a sexy subplot forwarded by Martha Raye, the Phynx and their spy managers must find pieces of a map. The map is painted on the bodies of sexually attractive young women, seen frequently in their bikinis and underwear. At one point, the Phynx lads are given rose-colored X-Ray glasses which magically show everyone in their underwear. The scenes showing random Romans in their underwear is most memorable. In one of the film's highlights, look for what the glasses reveal about the undergarments worn by Catholic nuns. Chippeway also reveals Native Americans may have been secretly Catholic. The final scenes show hostess Joan Blondell and all the important US celebrities and important people among those snatched by Communists...

If you've watched until the end of "The Phynx", you know the film is a failure. After some inviting animated opening credits and a good transition to live action, it's a slow and unfunny trip to the finish line. Produced by Bob Booker and George Foster, the movie makes a common mistake. "The Phynx" misunderstands and shows little respect for the "counterculture" it attempts to court, assuming it wanted an audience of movie viewers to line up at box offices around the country in 1970. Adding pseudo-rock music, long-hair wigs, mini-skirts and a sitar doesn't make you a hippie. As directed by Lee H. Katzin, some of the spy stuff is clever, though, especially scenes involving Lou Antonio (as Corrigan) before he's given new threads. Dick Clark was not thrilled...

In general, the soundtrack for "The Phynx" is miserable. Astonishingly, those in charge of the music are Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller. The songwriter/producers' many classics include "Jailhouse Rock" (Elvis Presley) and "Stand by Me" (Ben E. King). An explanation for the substandard work may be that Leiber-Stoller specialized in the 1950s, when this assignment was for a swinging 1960s soundtrack. Of the four actors playing "The Phynx", Dennis Larden, at least, was an accomplished musician. With his group Every Mother's Son, Mr. Larden released a largely undiscovered slice of sunshiny 1960s psychedelia called "The Proper Four Leaf Clover" / "Put Your Mind at Ease" (1967). Too bad they couldn't get Phil Spector...

There are many recognizable actors, but most young moviegoers would not have known most of the acclaimed Albanian victims. For some odd reason, the "guest starring" cast is bogged down by long-forgotten celebrities. Colonel Sanders would be familiar from his "Kentucky Fried Chicken" ads, but people like Pat O'Brien weren't even on the fringes of 1970 pop culture. You won't see Greta Garbo or John Wayne, here. You do get "Bowery Boys" Leo Gorcey and Huntz Hall, appearing together for the last time. And, when Johnny Weissmuller gives Maureen O'Sullivan a final kiss, their words will ring a bell. That's right, they were "Tarzan" and "Jane". A bell would have been nice for their scenic moment. Alas, "The Phynx" is just a curious old relic.

*** The Phynx (5/6/1970) Lee H. Katzin ~ Lou Antonio, Mike Kellin, Dennis Larden, Ray Chippeway

If The Monkees are QVC-peddled diamonique to The Beatles flawless diamonds, then The Phynx are plastic, made in China, children's jewelry sold in large bins at the Dollar Tree store.

This bizarre 1970 musical comedy is very obviously designed to cash in on the success of the Pre-Fab Four but it's so bad it succeeds only in falling well short of that less than ambitious goal.

The Phynx are a manufactured pop group, comprising 4 minimally talented, totally charisma-free young men, who are put together by the SSA - Super Secret Agency - with the intention of infiltrating Albania and rescuing a bunch of American celebrities who have been kidnapped by the country's communist dictator.

Are you still following me?

The Phynx is badly written, poorly acted trash that doesn't even rise to the redeeming level of kitsch. This leaden satire is less funny than the least amusing 'Saturday Night Live' sketch, and Mike Stoller and Jerry Leiber - the men who wrote 'Jailhouse Rock,''Love Me' and 'King Creole' for Elvis - should be ashamed at the musical tripe they served up for The Phynx to sing.

But still I stuck with it and the reason was the supporting cast list. The kidnapped celebrities are actual celebrities! Director Lee H.Katzin has rounded up a 1970 Who's Who of old time Hollywood stars still upright,breathing and willing to prostitute themselves for a final chance to grasp for even a tiny portion of their former fame.

Cinema's most famous Tarzan and Jane, Johnny Weissmuller and Maureen O'Sullivan are reunited for one brief scene; tiresome Bowery Boys Leo Gorcey and Huntz Hall rehash thirty seconds of their tiresome schtick; and there's blink and you'll miss 'em appearances by Joan Blondell, Dorothy Lamour, Busby Berkeley, Andy Devine, Butterfly McQueen, Rudy Vallee, Edgar Bergen, George Jessel, Ruby Keeler, Joe Louis and even KFC founder Colonel Sanders!

Their plight as fodder in this third rate production is best summed up by Warner Bros veteran Pat O'Brien, who wearily turns to Marilyn Maxwell during the final chase scene (in a turnip wagon) and says "If only I'd played the other part I'd be in Sacramento right now (as Governor of California) and Ronald Reagan would be here." It's meant as a joke but the expression on O'Brien's face and the tone of his voice suggests otherwise.

A monumental embarrassment to everyone involved, The Phynx is about as close to unwatchable as it gets without actually turning off the TV.

Check out more of my reviews at http://thefilmivejustseen.blogspot.com/

Somebody's stealing the celebrities of Hollywood's Golden Age, and that somebody is in Communist Albania. Our Super Secret Agency spies get the idea that the way to bring the celebrities back is to create some new celebrities, in the form of a pop band who will get invited to Albania themselves. Thus the band "The Phynx" is created. (The less said about the music of Lieber and Stoller, the better. Although, there was one song that kept reminding me of the Fifth Dimension's "Up, Up and Away".) The movie is normally considered a bomb, although I found it not quite as bad as that. The build-up is exceedingly slow, and most of the celebrities are underused. Thankfully, most of the celebrities - at least, the ones in Albania - are introduced red-carpet style so nobody will have trouble putting names to faces. The people playing the band members, of course, have no acting talent, although they could probably dance as well as Ruby Keeler.

There are a lot of celebrities in this one. Maureen O'Sullivan and Johnny Weismuller; Rudy Vallee; Huntz Hall and Leo Gorcey, the latter looking like death warmed over (he died before the movie was released); George Jessel; and even Col. Sanders are among those in captivity in Albania. Joan Blondell plays the First Lady of Albania. Martha Raye is one of the few who gets a chance to shine as the Agency's contact in London. James Brown comes next closest to shining. Richard Pryor is woefully underused.

One other good thing is the sequence in Rome. The band members are looking for a piece of a map tattooed on a woman's abdomen; they're given x-ray glasses to look through people's clothes. This sets up several opportunities for sight gags, some of which actually work. There's one of a man chatting up a woman in a club, where it turns out that both of them are actually men, and another of two young women talking to two nuns.

If you like "so bad it's good" movies, this one is actually worth watching since you'll find a whole bunch of "What were they thinking?" moments. I give it a 7/10 on that scale, not on the same scale I would rate Casablanca.

Hollywood tried so hard to assimilate the new hippie movement in their TV shows and movies and usually got it way wrong. so many films failed to do the "mix", SKIDOO, I LOVE YOU ALICE B. TOKLAS, etc.

The Phynx boasts a huge cast of Hollywood idols and can actually stand alone on that basis! Old stars, solo, or with their partners, are "relocated" to a huge estate, held hostage by the supposed "new" generation of entertainer...and indeed, when James Brown and 1969-70 entourage arrive, as ambassadors of the new music industry, we are impressed.

Songwriters Leiber and Stoller wrote the songs for this bizarre experiment and none are any good. That's why James Brown should have done a song or two from his own catalogue. OK, OK...................

Getting' back to those "old" stars: there are many here which justify the proverbial price of admission. I bought the DVD for the 1970 version of Gorcey and Hall. No laffs. But a gas to behold, so many years later!