No, no, no, con tua madre non ci sto!

Pierre Étaix directed, co-wrote and starred in this very unusual and often surreal film. It does have its slow moments, but its eccentric sense of humor make it well worth seeing.

When the film begins, you see Étaix about to get married--at which point you are shown a flashback where this character explains to the audience his previous love life as well as what led him to marry Florence (played by the woman Pierre Étaix actually married in 1969). This is the first of MANY occasions where the film breaks through the fourth wall--the invisible barrier between the actors and the audience.

Now the film jumps ahead and the couple is now approaching middle age. The husband is quite successful (working for his father-in-law) and the couple is quite happy. However, a couple nosy biddies see the husband doing innocent things--and their dirty minds misinterpret it. They think he's cheating on his wife and eventually their gossip leaks to the wife and she leaves him--at least temporarily. She does return, but the incident actually gets the husband looking at his own life--the stagnation and the possibility of having an affair with his much younger secretary.

At this point, some of the strangest leaps from the plot occur--and it becomes very surreal. My favorite was a whimsical dream where the husband finds himself in bed and the bed is chugging down the street like a car! And, ultimately, the secretary joins him. Many more wacky surreal touches occur--but I don't want to spoil the film.

The best way to describe this film is a French comedy with hints at the sort of film Woody Allen would soon make--with the strange surreal bits as well as the questioning about one's direction in life. As I mentioned above, it does have a few slow moments but it also has many magical ones that make the film worth your time. A strange but satisfying comedy about mid-life.

What an utter delight! How have I only stumbled onto this by chance? How is this not more widely known? I had absolutely no foreknowledge or expectations when I sat down, but I completely adore this movie. Filmmaker Pierre Étaix, and co-writer Jean-Claude Carrière, have created a truly great comedy that's more fun and inventive than countless others one could name. The title and premise seem ordinary enough, yet 'Le grand amour' is a stroke of genius I simply couldn't have anticipated.

The feature maintains a consistently low-key, restrained tone, a vibe that lets its humor and playful whimsy stand out all the more. There's relatively little need for dialogue, or even substantial plot, as protagonist Pierre's imagination takes over while considering his stagnant marriage and mid-life crisis - that is, Pierre's imagination, and other characters'. Rather, Étaix and Carrière's screenplay relies predominantly on wonderfully smart, clever scene writing by which every small moment, whether narration, recollection, dream, or daydream, can stand tall all by itself while building the overall story. With that foundation other elements of the picture are allowed to flourish that usually are taken for granted, feeding directly into every gag and joke: Henri Lanoë's perfectly fluid editing, and Jean Boffety's rich, vibrant cinematography; simple effects, adding to detailed and imaginative sets; even set decoration, and hair and makeup, whose fine minutiae are essential to the fanciful humor. 'Le grand amour' plays fast and loose with what sense of reality it fosters for its tale - not in so emphatic a way as has been true elsewhere, and not specifically breaking the fourth wall, but nearly becoming fantastical in the process. And it does so with such natural, easy smoothness that if one weren't paying attention to what the movie were doing, it may seem scattered and disjointed, an impression that would be direly mistaken.

As smart as the writing is the cast (led by Étaix himself) is likewise allowed to play it straight much more than not, and they excel at it. For lack of clamor the quiet wit is thusly amplified, and in those more infrequent instances when a scene requires more abject silliness, or the heightened and exaggerated emotions we'd normally assume of comedies, it rather feels like the instance has been deftly and joyfully prepared. Or to put it another way, the more plainly ridiculous bits feel like the punchline following a long set-up, except in this case the set-up succeeds on its own even without that pay-off. And with Étaix's strong vision and guiding hand as director, there's no chance of any tiny part of the production failing the fabulous intelligence he and Carrière poured into its conjuration.

Whether out of praise or criticism, it's hard to especially describe comedy without ruining the joke, or betraying spoilers. It's hard for me to convey just how splendidly ingenious this is, without any need for profanity, raunchiness, or the boorish, loud-mouthed shenanigans one can generally assume from its more modern kin (e.g. 'The 40-year old virgin,' 'Blades of glory,' 'The hangover'). I can only repeat that this Étaix's 1969 picture is tremendously bright and dexterous, and I cannot overstate what a pleasure it is to watch. It doesn't matter who you are or what your preferences tend to be, this is a luminous slice of gaiety that I think anyone can appreciate, and it's even appropriate for all ages! However you need to go about watching 'Le grand amour,' I'm happy to say it earns my very highest, most enthusiastic recommendation!

In "Le Grand Amour" (1969), Pierre's life unfolds within the confines of a provincial French city he never ventures beyond (his obligatory national service excepted). Accepting a marriage that offers stability and companionship, he finds himself ensnared in the mundanity of monogamy, familial obligations, and professional stagnation.

Despite its comedic façade there is pain, "Le Grand Amour" echoes the tone of a Demy musical, juxtaposing brightness with an undercurrent of sorrow and darkness. The film's impeccable imagery and meticulous set design immerse viewers in a world where even the smallest details provoke reflection and amusement.

In Alan Garner's (unrelated) novel, "Red Shift", a young man joked on comparing his own lodgings to those of his girlfriend - about her parents' house, as compared to his parents' caravan - "plenty of space for ducks on these walls". The joke is hinting at the bourgeois nature of English life at the time. Pierre comes into abundance and spacious accommodation via marriage, but the supposed increase in potentiality doesn't lead to bacchanalia or to the creation of an artist's studio, or a commune; the situation in which he lands lends itself to ducks on the wall, and even if they can afford ducks painted by Oudry, it's the same thing.

Etaix is perfectly aware of what Jerry Seinfeld with Elaine Benes pointed a generation or two later on in time, that the vast majority of us don't even get what little love Pierre has in this movie ("95% of the population are undateable"). Cupid is the real Procrustes, and you have to fit on the bed exactly in order to walk away with real romantic love in this life. This is borne out by the iconic "driving beds" reverie, as Pierre and his grand amour float past various broken dreamers. The love between Pierre and Florence is complex, for all the wanderings of the heart and the shortcoming between the ideal of love and the reality, short tender moments exist, and moments of marital harmony are welcome to see.

Amidst the melancholy, "Le Grand Amour" exudes a sense of forgiveness and understanding, recognizing the inherent folly of human relationships. Despite its titular promise, true love remains elusive for many, leaving them to grapple with unattainable ideals and perpetual dissatisfaction. The film's literary resonance, reminiscent of Simenon's nuanced explorations of human nature, elevates it beyond mere comedy, offering a poignant reflection on the complexities of love and longing.

In essence, "Le Grand Amour" is a profound exploration of the human condition, where humour and pathos intertwine to reveal the fragile nature of our deepest desires.

Following in the tradition of "Monsieur Hulot's Holiday", "Le Grand Amour" uses as little dialogue as possible. However, there is more dialogue in "Le Grand Amour" and the viewer feels more involved, whereas in "Monsieur Hulot's Holiday", the viewer feels more like a voyeur, just watching the happenings that occur around him.

"Le Grand Amour" also has a theme; it is not just a slice of life. The protagonist, Pierre (Pierre Etaix, who also wrote and directed the film), lives his life rather passively. He is affected and influenced by the opinions of others, by gossip, and by the institutions and social forms that exist. Even when he seeks to assert himself, it still feels like he is just shrugging off one convention for another.

The style of the film is much like the silent film comedies of earlier years. But it seamlessly strays into flights of fancy, like the scenes where he fantasizes about his secretary and those involving dreams (a la Woody Allen).

The film is very creative in its use of sound effects. Notice, for example, the background sounds when certain characters are on screen.

The film is also filled with vignettes and ancillary comic touches that add to its charm, like the waiter whose curiosity about the restaurant patrons affects his performance and who, at one point, actually interacts with a memory recounted by Pierre in voice over.

The film has a charming, light-hearted view of life and marriage, with a self-deprecating sense of humor.

I had the wonderful experience of seeing Le Grand Amour at its New York premiere last night (Friday, October 19, 2012). The screening was at the Film Forum, the renowned movie house where a Pierre Étaix retrospective is currently being held. The film was preceded by Étaix's Oscar-winning 1962 short Heureux Anniversaire. To the delight of all who were in the audience, M. Étaix was at the screening (his very first trip to NYC!), first to introduce Le Grand Amour and then again for a generously lengthy post-film Q&A. At nearly 84 years old, Étaix's sense of humor is as lively as ever; when asked who his favorite contemporary directors were/are, he joked about it being Clint Eastwood. (The actual answers: William Friedkin and Stanley Kubrick. Étaix also mentioned being a fan of Hitchcock.) As for Le Grand Amour, the film is a charming look at married life in all its most comedic - and sometimes poignant - moments. The gags are fantastic and the emotional aspects parts of the story feel very real. Catch Le Grand Amour if you can, although I'm not sure where you would be able to find it in America (besides at the Film Forum) since M. Étaix's directorial efforts are not yet available on DVD here. It's a real shame since his talents have been forgotten for far too long. Le Grand Amour makes clear what his great loves were (and, in some ways, still are): comedy, filmmaking and his co-star/wife at the time, Annie Fratellini.