Missili sulla luna

Richard E. Cunha's low budget remake of `Cat Women of the Moon' contains some hysterical flaws. When the spacemen land on the Moon, the full-sized rocket prop they stand beneath is obviously just a flat cardboard mockup of the lower ten feet. The lunar `rockmen' who attack the astronauts look like stone Gumbies -- and the noses of the people in the suits stick out plainly from the flat stone `face'. The noises aren't even colored like the stone!

The plot and acting are equally uproarious. After learning that the government is going to take over his private Moon rocket project, a scientist discovers two young fugitives hiding inside his spacecraft. He pulls out a gun and threatens to shot them if they don't agree to serve as crewmen on his lunar voyage. During the trip, the scientist reveals that he is actually an alien from the Moon -- and he built the rocket to get back home!

The lunar civilization is comprised entirely of former beauty contest winners, all dressed up in high heels and showgirl costumes. Gary Clark (`How to Make a Monster') plays one of the young escapees.

In MISSILE TO THE MOON, the title rocket -complete with pegboard interior, bunk-beds, and paper-upholstered chairs- is used as a hideout (!!) by a pair of escaped convicts. Sealed inside by the ship's designer, the two crooks are launched into space with him, along with two other unwary passengers! Man, is it ever a simple process! To think that astronauts waste so much time training for this!

WOOSH!

Next stop, the moon.

After a tragedy, the missile reaches its destination. Thankfully, the lunar surface is very earth-like, with about the same gravity.

EEK!

Rock monsters attack! Luckily, their lumbering renders them ineffective killers. Soon enough, the explorers are in the company of The Lido (K.T. Stevens with a candelabra on her head) and her minions (a gaggle of beauty pageant winners). Will convict Lon (Gary Clarke) find true love among the moon maidens? Jealousy breaks out when misunderstanding ensues.

AAAGH!

A gigantic tarantula puppet is unleashed!

Utterly ludicrous in every way imaginable, this movie is still a ton of fun to watch! Yes, my friends, the moon truly is made of cheeeze.

P.S.- Do not miss the moon-woman disco dance routine, complete with bongo drums!...

The dubbed female scream, commonly used in the 1950s, gets especially good notices in this intriguing science-fiction film. It's so good, 2 actresses, Cathy Downs and Nina Bara, get to use the exact same scream. The film is competently told, sincerely acted, particularly by K.T. Stevens as the Moon's Queen, and the always reliable Ms. Downs. The rock creatures are eerie; in fact "Galaxy Quest" (1999) honors this film with their giant rock monster. The spider is a bit puppet like, but the Moon women are compelling.

Above-average chills.

A spaceship blasts off from Earth with five aboard, but one of them is secretly a Moon man returning home. He dies by accident during the trip to Luna.

While this is incredibly cheesy, and not very scientifically accurate (at one point the rocket looks like cardboard), it is fun. The rock creatures are especially interesting. The spider is okay, although it does look a bit silly and this is the second or third time that same prop has appeared in a film.

I am curious what color the moon people are supposed to be. In the version I watched, they were sort of greenish blue. But in other versions, they are more naturally human-colored. And, of course, originally the film had no color at all. I suspect the true color is closer to human-tone, because otherwise how did Dirk (the moon man) pass as human?

Richard Cunha did not direct many movies but the few he did give us are fantastic. You know right away you are in an alternate universe when you watch this one. Hero Richard Travis pulls back a curtain to give us a look at what is supposed to be a giant rocket way out in the background; but you can tell immediately that it is a wooden model just a few inches away! Oh it just gets better from there! Scientist Michael Whalen blasts off for the Moon with a makeshift crew of 2 escaped JD's (Gary Clarke of HOW TO MAKE A MONSTER fame and Tommy Cook of no particular fame at all). Mr. Travis and girlfriend Cathy Downs (former fiancée of THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN) go aboard just before blastoff and are unable to get off in time . . . does that mean they were shanghaied? Amazingly the extra weight does not affect fuel or oxygen consumption and apart from the obligatory meteor shower they reach the Moon with no problem. Remember to keep repeating "It's only a movie, only a movie, only a movie . . ."

This is not the Moon of DESTINATION MOON, oh no! This Moon is inhabited by walking rocks that look like Gumby on steroids, a giant spider that looks like a puppet (well okay it IS a puppet but it's a darn mean looking puppet!) and a civilisation of beautiful women. They have a distinct problem though, they are running out of oxygen and must take off for another planet soon or else! They want the Earth people to show them how to build a rocket to carry them to safety. Meanwhile moon girl Alpha (Nina Bara) takes one look at Travis and decides she must have him for a mate and her unrequited love is more important than the survival of her own race. Talk about self absorbed!

Is it art? No. Is it fun? You bet! The puppet spider had already been seen in the 3-D film CAT WOMEN OF THE MOON but Mr. Cunha's film is much more fun. The rock men are surprisingly good and the Moon girls are fabulous. Look closely for Leslie Parrish (Daisy Mae of L'IL ABNER fame) and Lisa Simone who would go on to meet THE GIANT GILA MONSTER among the lunar beauties.

Amazing some TV prints cut the scenes of the spider claiming a victim and the climactic shot that shows why you should not go out in the sun while visiting the moon. Some DVD prints of this now Public Domain title offer the film uncut. Notice I said some, not all!