La casa dei mostri

Acceptable scare-fare here, with two of the B movie greats, Carridine and Healy, and the prince of the C,D,E,and F movies, Tor Johnson. Not as campy as an Arch Hall Jr. or Dennis Ray Steckler effort-the production values are too good-but still some good giggles at trite dialogue and silly plot.

Although made in 1957, THE UNEARTHLY is one of those throwbacks to the kinds of cheap horror pictures cranked out by minor studios in the 1940's that often starred Bela Lugosi, or George Zucco, or as in this film, John Carradine as a mad scientist. This film, with John Carradine as a mad scientist trying to create immortal beings must of seemed old and shopworn to 1957 audiences. The film is talky and plodding. Scenes are dull. The last ten minutes the film picks up speed and we get a chance to see the botched results of Carradines experiments and some fine make up work by Harry Thomas. Its the only thing from preventing me from calling this a total disaster. Oh! I almost forgot, Allison Hayes is sexy.

This movie includes a number of distinguished actors playing excellent parts. John Carradine, for instance, plays a gaunt, furrow-faced scientist with a big booming authoritative scientisty voice. Myron Healy plays the mysterious Mark Houston, an average Joe who goes after the ladies with some of the lamest pick-up lines in existence ("Grace? Hmm, pretty name for a pretty girl.") The truly lovely Alison Hayes, she of the sensational chest, plays the aforementioned Grace, a knockout of a girl up to her eyeballs in emotional problems. Sally Todd, a beauty queen in real life, plays Natalie, a relatively well-adjusted knockout blonde who tragically gets turned into a smoked meat sculpture (not on purpose, of course). Marilyn Buferd is the cold, frustrated lady scientist who's carrying a torch for the gaunt furrow-faced scientist guy. Roy Gordon is the scientist-in-cahoots-with-the-other-scientists who looks like the guy on those Monopoly cards. Arthur Batanides is the neurotic palooka who spazzes out at the drop of a hat. Harry Fleer is Jedrow (_not_ Jethro), the hapless victim who looks like Abe Vigoda. And. of course, there's Tor Johnson, who's just his sweet, lovable, playful old self.

With a cast like that, how can you go wrong?

John Carradine's character, Dr. Conway, has a big problem in "The Unearthly." His experiments on a newly discovered synthetic gland keep going wrong, and as a result, all his human guinea pigs have been transformed into mutant critters that are now overcrowding his basement. We get to see this mutant collection at the end of the film, and it is both the funniest and most horrifying section of this surprisingly well-done little B picture. I say "surprising" only because most film books downplay this movie as hopeless shlock, but I found it to be fairly entertaining. Not too many unintentional laffs, and with fairly good acting, too, especially from Carradine and cult fave Allison "The 50 Foot Woman" Hayes. Tor Johnson, everyone's favorite lumbering mound of monstrous blubber, is also on hand, as Carradine's imbecilic helper, and his is always a welcome presence. Surprisingly, his character's name is Lobo...the same name he sported in Ed Wood's "Bride of the Monster"!!! This may very well be Tor's finest film...but when your other credits include "Plan 9 From Outer Space" and "The Beast of Yucca Flats," two of the worst ever, I suppose that's not saying too much. Compared to the other John Carradine "mad scientist" film that I saw recently, "The Astro-Zombies," "The Unearthly" is a little gem of script, acting and direction. Again, I suppose that's not saying too much. But the bottom line is, I really did have fun with this one. Give it a try!

Unearthly, The (1957)

*** (out of 4)

This 'Z' grade film to me is one of the best examples of something being so bad it's good. A mad doctor (John Carradine), with the help of his assistant Lobo (Tor Johnson) is using people from his psychiatric institute as subjects in hopes that he can find eternal life by putting glands in their heads. This film is about as crazy as any film can get and I mean that in a good way because this is one of the most entertaining bad films ever made. It might even be unfair for me to call this bad because, unlike a lot of these Z movies, this one here goes out of its way to try and be entertaining and come up with a real story. The so-called real story they come up with here is way out of left field but it's still a lot of fun. Carradine and Johnson as the bad guys just adds more enjoyment as the two men eat up each scene as if they haven't eaten anything in years. That wonderful glee in Carradine's eyes really shines and it makes you forget that this guy has been in some of the most loved classics in the history of cinema. The brute Johnson moves slowly and talks badly but this just adds to his charm. Myron Healey and Allison Hayes play the good guys with cult figure Sally Todd playing another one of the patients. Arthur Batanides plays a hot head patient and in interviews he said he was drunk throughout the making of the film and this isn't hard to believe. He makes his character very memorable and he's a joy to watch throughout the thing. The make up effects are all very well done, which again, isn't too normal for this type of film. The ending, clearly influenced by H.G. Wells, is a classic with a closing line that is hilarious.