The Fat Spy

As a longtime resident of SW Florida, I had to watch this film after finding out it was filmed entirely in the city of Cape Coral, and showed parts of Cape Coral Gardens (known to local residents as The Rose Gardens - an abandoned water park that was a popular hangout for teens back in the late 70's/early 80's). The story is pretty incoherent, and as a previous reviewer put it, was basically a sales pitch for the city of Cape Coral. It looks like the majority of it was shot at the Cape Coral Yacht Club (the beach scenes anyway), with the remainder being Cape Coral Gardens (obvious sale pitch for the park at about 1 hour in), and the corner of Del Prado Boulevard and Cape Coral Parkway. Pretty low budget... The performances, as well as the music... just plain bizarre (though it was the '60's).

I rated this a "4" simply for the archival footage of the city I've known for 30 years. Of particular interest to local residents is a shot of the Iwo Jima statue - located originally at the entrance to Cape Coral Gardens, left abandoned when the park closed and long neglected for years... is the very same statue that now resides by Eco Park along Veteran's Memorial Parkway westbound from the Midpoint Bridge (one of the entrances to Cape Coral from the city of Fort Myers). And unbelievably...this film is available on DVD!

Not much. BUT, for a low (low, low, low) budget "beach party" film (set in Florida, for a change) there are *just* enough special moments to satisfy the truly curious. Those moments are all found in the musical numbers: Frank E Leonard croons to his long-lost love, cosmetics mogul Phyllis Diller, an amusing "love" song regarding Diller's supposed ugliness in "You Haven't Changed a Bit"....with lines like "the paper said that Peeping Tom was pulling down your shade.." Ironic, as Phyllis Diller looks quite good here. Jayne Mansfield portrays a chubby daddy's girl/bush pilot who is sent by her father (Brian Donlevy) to see what 'those kids' are up to, and in doing so meets up with her beloved (Frank E Leonard, in a second role). Jayne gets to sing one song, the charming "I'd Like To Be a Rose in Your Garden (But I'm Just a Thorn in Your Side)." In real life, Jayne is obviously pregnant (with her youngest child); in some scenes there was no attempt to conceal her growing belly. Maybe the intention was for her character to be plump? Other numbers include cast member Lauree Berger (a very appealing short-haired brunette who could easily have given Annette Funicello a run for her money) singing the weirdly upbeat but submissive ditty "You Put Me Down the Nicest Way You Can." Jordan Christopher and the Wild Ones appear as "the boys" and perform "The Turtle", a slow-moving dance -which is like nothing you'll ever see in the big-budget "beach" movies. However, none of these musical moments belong in the same film with the Jordan Christopher-Lauree Berger duet "Nanette", a dreamily beautiful melody that could have been a hit if it wasn't lost in this film. "The Fat Spy" succeeds in a few fragments -if not as a whole- and for that its worth a look.

Let's not beat around the bush. This movie is terrible. Jack E. Leonard is just not funny. He's fat in a rather unpleasant-looking way, he tries too hard, and he's given nothing funny to do in playing TWO PARTS.

HOWEVER, for fans of the genuinely wrong-headed and insane, this movie has some appealing facets. The music is pretty doggone cool. The film begins very suddenly with two guys singing an acoustic rock number on a dock. Recorded live, they're just singing "People Sure Act Funny When They Get A Little Money", and it goes on for about 5 minutes and you don't know if it is part of the movie or what. It suddenly ends and shifts to a cool, cartoon mid-60s style of credits with a bouncy title tune.

Later the band, The Wild Ones, treat us to their song "The Turtle". It's the "slowest dance you'll ever do," replete with leering camera shots of the chicks in their skimpy suits writhing along. The song really rocks in an intense way. The lead girl character gets a song of her own, which would serve as a brilliant parody of Lesley Gore, if the filmmakers were smart enough. It is unbelievably catchy, but the basic theme is "I'm so glad I never get my way and you are a man, because you put me down the nicest way you can." On second thought, that's the actual chorus!

So these and a few other musical moments bring the movie to a level of disbelieving watchability. Fast forward through all the "comedy".

What was everyone thinking when they signed on for this one?

The Fat Spy has just about everything wrong with it, actors not motivated to act, jokes that just fall flat, a plot that makes no sense, and Jack E. Leonard.

I remember Jack E. Leonard from many viewings of the Ed Sullivan show in the Fifties and Sixties. He was the Don Rickles of his day. A roly-poly comedian who made his bones in burlesque, Leonard specialized in insult comedy.

For some reason someone thought he'd be good to star in a feature film. So The Fat Spy was created and we got two Jack E. Leonards. They're playing brothers, one of whom is involved with Jayne Mansfield and the other with Phyllis Diller. Talk about differing tastes, that is the funniest thing about The Fat Spy.

No one ever asked Leonard to star in another film. Jayne Mansfield would make two more and then be tragically taken from us. Phyllis Diller was better served by her appearances with Bob Hope. Brian Donlevy is Jayne's father in this film and he calls her Junior. Donlevy has a look of pain throughout the film, wondering if his paycheck was going to clear the bank.

Anyway a group of treasure hunting teenagers on Brian Donlevy's private island look like they might discover the fabled Fountain of Youth rumored to be there. As Shaw says, "youth is wasted on the young" so the older generation wants to chase the kids off and get the secret of eternal youth for themselves.

Johnny Tillotson who is a fine singer and songwriter made his one and only appearance in film as a character. Acting was not among his talents, but he got to run off with a mermaid.

Pass this one by unless you want to hear Johnny Tillotson sing.

"Off the Florida coast, teenagers (sic) come to a nearly deserted island, rumored to have 'The Fountain of Youth.' This island's owner is none too happy about that, and dispatches his daughter, Junior, to get rid of them. The island's only resident, Irving (Jack E. Leonard), is Junior's sweetie. He is sent to spy on the kids to find out what they know. Irving's twin brother and his girlfriend Camille (Phyllis Diller), are also headed for the island, with their own nefarious plans," according to the DVD sleeve description.

Baby-fattened Jayne Mansfield (as Junior) is introduced hiding her belly behind a bust of George Washington. But, the titular "Fat Spy" refers to "Bronx High School of Science" and "Fink University" stand-up comic Jack E. Leonard (as twins Irving and Herman). With a bald head, Mr. Leonard smooches Ms. Diller, while a toupee allows gets him some necking time with Ms. Mansfield. Her father is rotund Brian Donlevy (as George Wellington), who mutters something about "LSD 26"and speaks on a phallic telephone.

Hopefully, Mr. Donlevy had more blackouts than flashbacks regarding this appearance. Leonard and Diller were likely able to laugh it off. Also appearing, in a candy-striped swimsuit, pop star Johnny Tillotson (as Dodo Bronk) re-plays the "Mermaid" subplot from "Beach Blanket Bingo" (1965). None of the aforementioned cast members are seen at their best, but four stars must be awarded Jordan Christopher and the Wild Ones (Chuck Alden, Tom Trick, Ed Wright and Tom Graves) for the bathing suits and tight tunes.

"People Sure Act Funny" (an apt opener), "Nanette" and "Wild Way of Living" (the version nearer the end of the film) are highlights.

**** The Fat Spy (5/11/66) Joseph Cates ~ Jack E. Leonard, Phyllis Diller, Jordan Christopher, Jayne Mansfield