The Beach Girls and the Monster

Pretty cheesy. John Hall directs and stars in this movie also known as MONSTER FROM THE SURF. Pretty girls are slashed to death by a sea monster. Right! I have always liked Jon Hall, but this movie is as interesting as sea weed. Stock footage of surfing and no "real" monster at all. Acting is about as lame as the script. Also in the cast are Sue Casey, Elaine DuPont and Walker Edmiston.

MST fans are familiar with the classic episode whereby Mike and the 'bots turn their comedic talents on the East Coast beach movie "The Horror of Party Beach". Like "Horror", "The Beach Girls and the Monster" takes place on a beach and features a monster, but that's where the similarities end.

"Beach Girls" tells the story of Otto, who is a scientist. Otto is a control freak who can't control anyone in his life. You see, Otto has a trophy wife by the name of Vicky who likes to cheat on him and a son who has been neglecting his work in the family's sea lab. The son carries some guilt over being involved in an accident which gives his friend a limp. Seeing that he's been living life way too seriously, the son has taken to the beach life, surfing and dancing with pretty girls. This does not please the father at all.

Otto's son and his friends party like it's 1999, but a monster is killing them one by one. Why them and no one else? Why are we never shown the origin of the monster? Well, after about the 2/3 mark of this movie, it becomes very apparent what the answers to these questions are. This movie is not so much a horror movie per se, but rather a drama involving a dysfunctional family that just happens to have a monster in it.

One little item might escape you on first viewing it. In one scene, the son and his friend are viewing a movie of surfing in Hawaii, which really lends nothing to the movie except to pad it out so it runs at least an hour. The movie is shot in black and white, but the inserted footage is in that washed-out 60s color. Watch for it.

Sterno says catch this wave and ride it in to shore.

Beach Girls and the Monster, The (1965)

* (out of 4)

A bunch of teens just wanna dance to some good music and surf but a sea monster shows up to ruin their day. This is a rather infamous film that tries to mix with horror genre with any of the Beach Party movies but the film is a flat out disaster but I must admit that it kept me entertained throughout its 65-minute running time. If you can't stand bad movies then there's no need for you to see this one but if you believe that some bad movies can be entertaining then this here is a must see. The performances are all incredibly bad but this does lead to some nice laughs as does the really bad direction. The monster has a cute rubber face and I admit that I enjoyed the few scenes that it's in but the twist in the plot can easily be spotted. The film is best remembered today for its Frank Sinatra, Jr. soundtrack and it's actually pretty good even though it's third-rate Beach Boys stuff.

... when you see a boom mike in the trailer!

"The Beach Girls and the Monster" features a clear shot of Sue Casey speaking on the phone during the trailer. With a boom mike above her. And the perch.

The movie itself has a delightful scraping the barrel approach when it comes to exploitation. You can find the two main sub-genres from the 60's b-movies melting: the monster movie and the beach movie. Both aspects are indeed badly done. The monster is everything but frightening and one has to wonder why any of his victims hadn't the idea to kick him between the legs. And the beach part is so cliché ridden it looks like a "Lord Loves A Duck" sequence, except for the fact that "Lord Loves A Duck" was a parody (also featuring boom mikes on screen). There's for instance, for comic relief, a ventriloquist and his lion Kingsley who duets with the girls on a corny song. Actually, he could be the worst ventriloquist on Earth: he carries a false beard to hide his moving lips.

Then, you find all the features of cheap exploitation movies. Washed-out actors playing the parts of supposedly attractive characters. "Teenagers" that were last seen in high school 15 before the shooting. Big names on the credits, like Frank Sinatra. Even if you must add "Jr" as that's his son, Frank Jr, and he merely wrote the score (mostly lounge jazz and a few Beach Boys attempts). Actually, Mark (Walter Edmiston) looks a little like Sinatra as the sculptor that Sue Casey teases. (By the way, his sculptures are not exactly flattering even for a fading beauty like Ms Casey.)

Jon Hall, for his only directing credit, shot the thing cheaply and quickly. His house was a convenient place for inner shots and he tends to use zooming extensively to end a scene without making another shot. It's irritating even when it's Luchino Visconti who's directing and Jon Hall is apparently no Visconti.

And there's the story, or indeed the lack of story. You also know that a movie has got a problem when Robert Silliphant is credited for "additional dialogue". Silliphant took a writing hand in both "The Creeping Terror" and "The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!?". In other words, he's responsible for two of the lamest screenplays of all times! "The Beach Girls and the Monster" is his third and final screen credit. So I have to wonder how much Silliphant improved the original screenplay.

On the plus side, the girls on the beach (actually the dancing troupe from the Whisky-A-Go- Go club) have tight bikinis and giggles as if they were Shakira's mother. Or grandmother. So, every movie has a redeeming quality.

This movie is clearly not for everyone, as it was made during a more innocent time when surfing and beach movies were all the rage. While it obviously didn't win any Academy Awards, it was still a cute movie nonetheless. Essentially, the film begins with a pretty beach girl who playfully runs away from the campfire her friends are having on the beach. A monster then appears and kills her. After that, the scene shifts to one of the beach houses where a young surfer named "Richard Lindsey" (Arnold Lessing) lives with his overly demanding father, "Dr. Otto Lindsey" (John Hall), and his sexy but two-timing stepmother, "Vicky Lindsey" (Sue Casey). Meanwhile, amidst the drama within the beach house, the monster continues to kill Richard's friends. While I found this movie a bit amusing, it's really hard to overlook the faults. The acting wasn't very good, some of the scenes were laughable, and the "monster" looked completely ridiculous. Even so, it featured attractive ladies like Elaine DuPont (as "Janie") and the aforementioned Sue Casey to brighten up the scenery, along with a little mystery thrown in as well. So, all things considered, I suppose it wasn't a total waste of time. However, this film isn't for everyone, and even then, those who remember this particular era will still have to make allowances.