Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is a low budget kid's movie from the early 60's. It has a reputation as one of the worst movies ever made. But, similar to most such famously trashed films, it actually turns out to be nowhere near the worst of the worst. More accurately, this could be described as an enjoyable slice of cheese. Sure, its rubbish on several levels but it also happens to be memorable on several other levels.

The story, such as it is, has the Martians kidnapping Santa Claus and, in the process, abducting two Earth children as well. You see, the Martians want to enjoy Christmas as well. With a plot-line as moronic as that, there's really no point in splitting hairs over details and instead just sit back and watch what unfolds. The sets, costumes and make-up are all bargain-basement but they all work well enough within the confines of the plastic coated world that they exist in. Some of the highlights of the film as a whole include an angry Martian and friendly but stupid Martian, an impressively unconvincing and fake polar bear, a comedy punch up and last, yet surely best of all, a truly infectious theme song about Santy Claus. In the final analysis, there's enough strangeness here to qualify this as a bona fide cult item. It's poor, yet simultaneously quite good. Come on now; let's hear it for Santy Claus!

I badly want to give this film a 3/10, because it is by today's standards, abysmal. However, you have to try and take this film for what it is, made way back in 1964, the world was a very different place, the height of the cold war.

It is a Christmas film, and it's of course intended for adults, so you probably would have had to have been there, it's sweet, and from a kid's perspective probably did have some degree of charm.

The music is shocking, and the acting.... I'll leave that for you. At least they opted not to make Santa a Kung Fu Master, it's all meant to be heart warming.

Could I sit through it again? Absolutely not, but one of the worst movies of all time? I've seen worse.

I still very much appreciate its spirit, both in terms of no-budget filmmaking and sense of fun. I wish that the films of today could have even a fraction of its good-natured mischievous approach. Certainly film studios could learn a thing or two, in this ridiculous era of quarter-of-a-billion-dollar blockbusters. I for one don't need the equivalent of 'having my eyes masturbated', as one cinema critic so lovingly stated.

I would prefer watching this in a second over any of the ham-fisted, cash-soaked holiday atrocities made in the past three decades (I believe 'A Christmas Story', and perhaps 'Elf' and 'National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation' to be the last decently-made Yuletide films).

But don't take MY word for it...see it for yourself (without the stupid and condescending MST3K commentary) and make your OWN conclusion.

Maybe I have a soft spot somewhere in my heart for poorly written, badly conceived, silly 1960s children's movies - but I really can't understand why Santa Claus versus the Martians is in the worst 100 movies of all time here on IMDb. Sure, most viewers will breathe a sigh of relief when it ends, but this film really seems downright harmless compared to the six month old Kennel Ration Hollywood has been feeding us as commercial film for the last ten or so years. Hey, at least it's not a remake, a sequel, or a 2 hour long CGI cartoon with a few human faces tossed in for effect.

Santa Claus gets kidnapped by distraught martians (white guys with bad green makeup and a few dishwasher parts glued to their heads, as well as inexplicable capes), who want to rescue their depressive, antisocial children from the doldrums by giving them all toys and a big red-suited guy with a beard to laugh at... err... with. Santa adapts to life on Mars very well and starts cranking out the toys with the help of Martian machines, but political controversies surrounding his activities soon threaten the fabric of Martian Society.

I'm not kidding.... really.... this is the plot.

Aside from the ludicrous plot and mediocre acting (Bill McCutcheon gives the only really enjoyable performance in this film, though Pia Zadora and Vincent Beck are not too bad), this is no worse than many of the kid films of its time. In the age of ADD and general impatience, however, this film is more than a little dated. The only modern kid I can imagine enjoying this film is one with an extraordinarily great attention span and a penchant for B-films. In terms of production, this film has the feel of a 2 hour, 1960s low budget TV show, and is almost as clever.

I would recommend avoiding this film unless you're compelled to watch films which go to extremes. I found it cute, funny, and more than a tad ridiculous. To most people, it's a film version of your great Aunt's wallpaper - it's just there on the TV, while far more interesting things are happening in the carpet below your feet.

This is certainly a consensus pick as one of the worst (if not the worst) movies ever made - and for that very reason I've always wanted to watch it. Now I have, and my suggestion to everyone is - lighten up. Yes, it's bad. The sets are dreadful - worse than you used to see on Saturday morning kids' shows. The special effects are weak - although to be honest I've seen worse portrayals of space flight. And the costumes are hilarious - especially the polar bear and the robot. But come on - you have to admit that there's a certain "cuteness" to the story of Martians coming to earth to kidnap Santa Claus so that he can bring happiness to their children. All the characters are pretty one- dimensional. There's good guys and bad guys and fun guys and kids from both Earth and Mars. No one gets particularly well developed. And then, of course, there's Santa. In all honesty, I thought John Call did a decent job as the jolly old man. In this age of high tech special effects and big budget movies there's no doubt that this looks pretty weak - and even by the standards of 1964 it was still pretty weak. But it's good fun, and for the fun alone I don't think it deserves its reputation as one of the worst movies ever. What's left to say, except - "Hurray for Santy Claus!" 4/10