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The Three Stooges Go Around the World in a Daze

Phileas Fogg III: Moe, about how long would you say I've been having kippers for breakfast?
Moe: Man and boy, I'd say we've been eating our kippers every day for, it must be 11 years, sir.
Phileas Fogg III: Time for a change. Starting tomorrow, I'd like sausages.
Moe: Oh, those ugly little brown - SAUSAGES?

[tootling on horn to entice a snake out of its jar]
Larry: [frustrated] He don't like my music.
Moe: He's not supposed to like it. He's gotta hate it. Then he comes out, sees you, goes out of his mind, and while he's out, I clobber him.

Moe: The rajah says that at this time he will throw the razor-edged daggers at random.
Larry: Random? Get him up here. Hey, Randy, come on.
Moe: [glowering at Larry] Pardon me, Mister Random.

Larry: You don't think I'm going to let that blind bat throw knives at me, do you?
Moe: Blind bat? Why, he can see better than you can and I can prove it.
Larry: Well, you better prove it.
[picks up large round tray and holds it up to Curly-Joe's eyes]
Moe: Maha.
Curly-Joe: [peers in opposite direction] Aha?
Moe: Rajah!
[Curly-Joe turns around and stares closely at tray]
Moe: What is this?
Curly-Joe: Half a dollar.
Larry: You're right. I thought it was a dime.

Lory Filch: You're a fine one, Vickers Cavendish. Wasting your time reading when you should be thinking up some scheme to defraud.

[Curly-Joe opens door just as Moe is coming through; there is a spectacular crash of breakfast dishes and cutlery]
Curly-Joe: I'm sorry, Moe. The door swung and all the dishes broke.
Moe: Well, don't distress yourself, lad. You didn't break everything.
Curly-Joe: I didn't?
Moe: [Holds up an intact plate] Here's one you missed.
Curly-Joe: Hey!
[Moe breaks it over his head]

[Amelia is using the back of a frying pan as a mirror while Phileas plots their course]
Phileas Fogg III: Now, owing to monsoons at this time of year, we may have trouble getting across this bridge. It could be completely under water.
Curly-Joe: Don't worry, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
Moe: [chuckling] Pardon me, may I have the mirror?
Amelia Carter: Why, certainly.
Moe: You know, a sharp crack deserves a sharp answer.
Curly-Joe: Yeah.
[Moe whaps Curly-Joe with pan]

Moe: The rajah says that he will, without the aid of a telescope, shoot a raisin from the top of this gentleman's head.
Larry: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hold it. Shoot *what* raisin from *which* gentleman's head?
Moe: Oh, pardon me for calling you a gentleman, sir.

[after a prolonged fight in the dark where everyone keeps hitting the wrong people before finally knocking out the bad guys]
Moe: I knew you'd get the right ones if you kept on swinging.

Curly-Joe: [Cavendish and Filch abduct Fogg, Amelia and the Inspector at gunpoint and push the Stooges out of the paddywagon, then speed off] Hey - have I flipped, or are they the same two cops we saw at the maharajah's palace?
Larry: They get around faster than we do!
Moe: I smell a rat!

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