- Capt. Josiah J. Newman, MD: You mustn't confuse sadness with depression, "professor."
- Cpl. Jackson 'Jake' Leibowitz: Is there any difference? Can a man look sad and still be happy?
- Capt. Josiah J. Newman, MD: Yes.
- Cpl. Jackson 'Jake' Leibowitz: Example?
- Capt. Josiah J. Newman, MD: You.
- Cpl. Jackson 'Jake' Leibowitz: [to Capt. Newman] You see, in the neighborhood I came, we had to learn six different languages in order to do business.
- Capt. Josiah J. Newman, MD: We protect the sick. We feed them, and we love them. And we keep them safe. Our job is to make them *well*! Well enought to go out and be killed... Oh, I... Oh, my God, what an awful shame.
- Capt. Josiah J. Newman, MD: You have my deepest sympathies.
- Cpl. Jackson 'Jake' Leibowitz: From a plumber I expect sympathy. From a psychiatrist I expect understanding!
- Cpl. Jackson 'Jake' Leibowitz: Gavoni, may I remind you of a cardinal rule in the field of psychiatry? In the words of Sigmund Freud, "Show me a man that can lose his temper, and I'll show you a man that can lose his salami."
- Cpl. Jim Tompkins: [after he's undergone a rather traumatic therapy session which employed a dose of sodium pentothal, nicknamed "Flak Juice" by the patients] So that was Flak Juice, huh?
- Capt. Josiah J. Newman, MD: Uh huh.
- Cpl. Jim Tompkins: Big deal... Best shot I ever did get from old Uncle Sam. Beats booze.
- Col. Norval Algate Bliss: I'm bored, doctor. I am bored with being beleaguered by brainless, benighted blockheads. And I'm bored with B's. I think I shall concentrate on P's for the rest of the afternoon.