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Policeman: [translated into English] You have made it punishable by breaking and entering, and disturbing the peace with JAZZ instruments.
Franz: [translated into English, mimicking his voice sarcastically] Since when is JAZZ punishable?

Harry Eberhardt: [Policeman says the group must vacate the premises. Harry offers him a 20-ounce glass of beer] But you would like to drink a glass of beer while we pack up, right?
Policeman: Should that maybe be a bribe of an official?
Harry Eberhardt: No.
Policeman: But I still can't accept it.
Policeman: [takes the glass, and he drinks it all down in about 10 seconds] Ah. You have a good beer.
Harry Eberhardt: I'll get you another.
Policeman: Unfortunately, I have to turn that down. But hurry up.

Teutobald Stolze: [their daughter Anja is wearing a bikini in the police station; she is under arrest with her 5 friends, also in swimwear] Anja!
Elfriede Stolze: [upset] Half naked in front of the police!
Italian police chief: You can take her with you, but wrapped up.
Teutobald Stolze: [takes off his suit, wraps Anja in it, and leads her out the door] Ach, so!

Anja Stolze: [rushes over to where the slightly injured Mr. Ratsam is being treated] What's going on here?
Franz: [seeing Anja for the first time] One of our passengers hurt his shoe-soles, and these two "bush-shirt mokes" helped him.
Anja Stolze: [peeved] Those "bush-shirt mokes" are my parents!
Franz: Poor child. Uh, I meant to say, "handsome father, pretty daughter" -- wise old German saying.
Anja Stolze: [sarcastically] You can keep your old sayings.

Barbi Lothar: What are you painting there?
Willy: [using a paint brush, he is printing on his Bus with red paint] I am giving my Bus a name: "Caesar."
Barbi Lothar: And why not "Columbus"?
Willy: [thinks it over] "Colum-Bus"? Not bad. In fact, much better. You are not as untalented as you look.
Barbi Lothar: [walking away] I've got aptitudes of which you do not even suspect.

Anja Stolze: [in a lake, Franz swims out to where Anja, in a bikini, is lying alone in a canoe] Occupied!
Franz: [breezily] What a nice coincidence. How's it going?
Anja Stolze: [annoyed] Without you, it was going better.
Franz: [flirting] Don't say that so lightly. After all, you don't even know me.
Anja Stolze: [snaps] Maybe I don't even want to get to know you.
Franz: [knocks on wood, on the canoe] That would be a shame. May I enter?
Anja Stolze: Better stay outside.
Franz: But I can't swim back, I'm shipwrecked.
Anja Stolze: I don't believe a word of it.
Franz: [climbs into her canoe, then he lies down like he is exhausted from swimming] According to international maritime law, you have to take me on board now. I am at the end of my potency.
Anja Stolze: [retorting to his double entendre] Hopefully, that's the truth.

Franz: [As 9 of them wait on the street corner, a beautiful new bus drives by, and they get real excited; but it is not their bus. Then their rusty rattletrap of a bus shows up, and Franz quips] It's the latest model of "Scrap-metal and company."

Willy: [expected a million bucks cash, he hands his inheritance papers to a bureaucrat, they walk downstairs] If you don't have the money in a safe, you can just give me a check. I can't carry that much cash anyway.
Bureaucrat in Probate Court: [they walk outside to the parking lot, he points to an old rust-bucket of a broken-down minibus] There stands your inheritance.

Franz: [at the very beginning of the movie, he and 4 musicians are walking along the sidewalk, accompanying Willy on his way to Probate Court] Say, Willy, what was your uncle anyway?
Willy: A transport entrepreneur.
Franz: And so he left you a few million?
Willy: [high strung] Fellas, don't make me nervous. So long, till tonight.
[quickly waves good-bye, and hurries into the building.]
Franz: [to the 4 musicians, quips] No sooner does he inherit something, he gets cheeky.

Harry Eberhardt: [he and Wilma rescue Mr. Ratsam, who even with an inner-tube around his waist, is sinking in the lake's water] Come ashore , Mr. Diver. Water has no handrails.

Anja Stolze: [wearing a bikini, in a boat, in the lake] I can't endure this life any longer. My father tells me what to do every minute.
Franz: [next to her] Couldn't you go on vacation alone?
Anja Stolze: Papa of course did not permit that. And until next week, I am still...
Franz: What are you until next week?
Anja Stolze: Underage.
Franz: You don't look like that.
Anja Stolze: I mean I'm not 21.
Franz: When do you turn 21?
Anja Stolze: Next Tuesday at 3:00.
Franz: [thinks it over, then offers his plan] Would you let yourself be kidnapped?
Anja Stolze: [excited] Yes!
Franz: Yes?
Anja Stolze: [changes her mind] No. How did you get an idea like that?
Franz: Because it would be a great opportunity to free you from this strict Teutonic predicament. And for us a brilliant opportunity to get to know each other. Like swatting 2 flies with one stroke.
Anja Stolze: But I am no fly.
Franz: [teasing] Right. You are a bee, and a cute one.
Anja Stolze: [almost smacks him for getting fresh] Oh!
Franz: Okay, I take the "bee" part back, too. For me, you're a girl that I liked from the moment I saw you.
Franz: [starts rowing her back to shore, says about 18 seconds later] Trust in me. You have no better friend -- hopefully.

Teutobald Stolze: [daughter Anja Stolze had borrowed her parents' car without permission; parents later find their car, and the father reads aloud the note Anja had put on the windshield.] "Dear parents, I had to take some vacation time to be among young people. Please forgive me, your Anja."
Elfriede Stolze: [greatly relieved] Thank god, I was afraid that our poor child had been kidnapped.
Teutobald Stolze: [mad] This is much worse. This is outspoken disobedience.

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