Maciste contro i cacciatori di teste

For Italy and the world, handsome and muscular Kirk Morris slips into his Herculean loincloth, as "Maciste". He saves part of a tribe from the catastrophic blow-up of their island. Mr. Morris befriends less muscular Demeter Bitenc (as Ariel). Their splintered tribe sails to a new land, but has trouble mixing in with warring inhabitants. Morris tries to save beautiful Laura Brown (as Amoa), a tribal queen, from marrying the man who blinded and kidnapped her father.

Guido Malatesta's "Maciste contro i cacciatori di teste" was inappropriately re-titled "Colossus and the Headhunters" in the translation from Italian to English. There are some good sets and moderately exciting sequences. Some of the footage may be flown in from another movie, but it is nicely inserted. Morris makes a good enough "Maciste"; as you might expect, this isn't a film to showcase one's acting prowess.

**** Maciste contro i cacciatori di teste (1960) Guido Malatesta ~ Kirk Morris, Demeter Bitenc, Laura Brown

This isn't the worst movie I've ever seen, or even the worse 'Maciste' movie I've ever seen...believe it or not, this movie is an order of magnitude better than "Maciste Against Hercules In the Valley Of Woe". It is a clunker of a sword-and-sandals movie, but it still has a kind of innocence about it, as if the actors and the film crew knew they were just churning out product, but still had some pride in their work.

For some reason, the folks who brought it over to the English speaking world didn't want to admit this was another in the series of terrible 'Maciste' movies and so it went by the title of 'Colossus and the Headhunters'.

The plot is a drunken walk which makes even the later Hercules movies look coherent and well thought out. The whole thing is really just an excuse to show off the physique of the actor playing Maciste/Colossus as he strains to open doors, pick stuff up, throw stuff, topple a tower onto some fighting villagers, etc. (There's also some decent sword fighting and a nice thing where he beats up bad guys with chains and other props.) But there isn't really all that much of him in the movie, which see below. It's mostly just minor character actors and extras running around in loincloths and armor and hitting each other with swords and clubs.

This guy named 'Kirk Morris' who plays Maciste is built pretty well. He resembles a latter day Strongfort or Maxim. But aside from a really tiny waist and some decent pecs, he isn't really all that impressive as a centerpiece for a film about a Body. It also seems to me that most of the time he's sucking in his gut so hard that he has very little energy left to 'act' with, and this also results in his tending to move as if someone stuck a poker up his backside. This could be why Maciste hardly DOES anything in this film, at least compared to a typical Hercules film where half the film is Herc front and center in the action, beating the stuffing out of the bad guys...Steve Reeves and Reg Park (and even "Alan Steele") could move quite convincingly on short notice,but poor Kirk Morris might have been somewhat out of his league in meeting action hero demands.

Yet another terrible dubbing job makes it hard to tell how good the writing and the acting actually is, but you can bet that this film started out as throwaway hackwork and was dragged down several more notches by the dub. I'll give 'em the benefit of the doubt and say that the writing and acting in its original language would be slightly better than a Republic chapter serial.

There is a hilarious moment in the MST3K version of the movie where three of the good guys set out from the ravaged village where a major fight has taken place in pursuit of the kidnapped princess, and they just skip right over some of the fallen corpses of their fellow villagers on their way out of the square. Mike and the Bots moan in disbelief, "Ohhhh, DON'T hop over the bodies...! That's just wrong!"

You'd be better off counting cross-stitch than wasting time with this movie, but it's harmless enough.

Who are these people? Where are we going? Are we the good guys or the bad guys?

This film has its stints of non stop action and mayhem and even more and more padding of either someone or a large group of people moving from point A to point B. It is hard to miss the kempt hair of Maciste (personally I prefer a chicken sub to cheesesteak) as he combats the merciless Headhunters. Note Nello Pazzafini playing one of the tougher baddies who also appeared in Danger!! Death Ray (Nello sure was in a lot of films!). More amusing stuff includes Amoa's Easter Egg hat hair, village bonfires, and death by archery. Also, one of the wackiest moments is the less than stellar choreographed dance to appease the gods by Amoa's right hand maiden Moana.

Not exactly up alongside the Hercules films, but fun in a goofy sort of way.

Fave line: "Then what happened?"

Remember the first time someone put a stink bomb in your backpack, and when it broke it ruined everything in there and for the rest of the year your bag, books, and gym clothes still smelled like stink bomb?

Remember when there was that time you had the number 2 emergency and just couldn't make it to the restroom in time?

Remember the first and last time you grabbed the milk jug out of the fridge, opened it and with out hesitation quickly grabbed a couple quick chugs only two realize that it was no longer milk and had spoiled a few days ago?

Remember that feeling you got the first time you got pulled over by a police officer and you knew you were totally screwed and there was no way you were getting out of this one?

Remember the first time you really had a nightmare, and it really nearly scared you to death? Maybe you had sleep paralysis and thought you were being held down by some unknown presence and couldn't move, breathe or scream?

Do you remember any of that?

Maciste rescues Ario, the son King Sandor, and his people from their land in a volcanic island that blows-up and they sail to the Land and Urias in a long and dangerous voyage. They are captured by the Urias but when the Queen Amoha meets Maciste, she tells that the traitor Kermis has joined the tribe of Head Hunters and slaughtered her people, but the warrior Taro has saved them from the annihilation; however, her father King Olibauna was missing in action. She asks Maciste to help her against the Head Hunters, but Maciste tells that he is protecting the tribe of Ario. When the Urias are attacked by the Head Hunters, Maciste decides to help Queen Amoha.

"Maciste Contro i Cacciatori di Teste" is really a bad movie and deserves the low IMDb User rating. The story has an abrupt beginning, a predictable screenplay, poor special effects and terrible acting. I saw this movie in a low-quality VHS released by Reserva Especial Video to make it worse. My vote is three.

Title (Brazil): "Maciste Contra os Caçadores de Cabeças" ("Maciste Against the Head Hunters")