La regina delle Amazzoni

When leading-man Rod Taylor passed away last year, I remembered his excellent performances in 'The Birds' and 'The Time Machine', and how his charm, good looks and manner could lift very good films such as those to greatness. I was also pleased that for his final role, he got to be in a very fine picture such as 'Inglourious Basterds', playing Winston Churchill--that he was able to end his career on a high-note, which sadly, is the exception rather than the rule. 'Colossus and the Amazon Queen' is an example of where he made an otherwise fun but terrible movie watchable--and that's another fine quality of a gifted thespian. Especially if you are a fan of Taylor's work, the intriguing way that Italian actors made swords-and-sandals' epics ad nauseum from the late-50's to early-60's, when they would become infatuated with the 'spaghetti western', these 94 minutes will be time modestly well-spent.

This is horrible.

I've seen pretty much every muscle man movie made in the 1950's and 1960's and this is at the bottom of the list.

First off the dubbing is terrible. The cliche of Japanese monster movies are nothing compared to this.

Secondly its suppose to be a comedy. It appears to have been written and acted as one, unfortunately there is nothing funny about it. The problem is that these films run so close to parody as is that its pointless to make fun of them. The only one that ever worked was the original version of My Son The Hero, which was a good movie even without the humor.

Lastly the sets, costumes, ect are overly bad. Again these films run the fine line between reality and parody. Its all of a style that took hold and effectively killed off the genre about five years after this was produced where spandex, beehive hairdos and Max Factor make-up made everything look silly.

The plot, concerning two muscle men and their encounters with the Amazons is stupid and comes from the low sex comedies that rarely traveled outside of Italy because they were more juvenile than funny.

Its over acted and under done.

One out of ten. Its just bad.

Seeing this film credit for Rod Taylor sandwiched in between The Time Machine and The Birds made me wonder just who was this guy's agent at the time and how come Rod Taylor got roped into this one? He had the look of a man who was happy with his trip to Italy for Colossus And The Amazon Queen and the satisfied look of a man whose paycheck for the film just cleared the bank.

Rod Taylor and Italian muscle dude star Ed Fury are a buddy team in this film, Rod does the thinking and Ed the heavy lifting when needed. Rod unfortunately cons Fury the way Crosby used to con Hope and thanks to Rod's machinations, the two of them and a whole lot of other guys who were galley slaves on a ship wind up slaves to a tribe of Amazons.

Now this race of woman does occasionally have need of men and their services and for that the hunkier they are, the better purchase price they get. In fact Rod can't close the deal unless Fury is part of the package.

Unfortunately after a night of bliss the men get themselves taken to slave in the salt mines. The ones who don't quite measure in the hunk department end up as house servants. This was one really lame attempt at gay stereotyping.

Colossus And The Amazon Queen plays like an overlong episode of the old Hercules series with Kevin Sorbo. As we all know Rod Taylor still salvaged a career after appearing in this. That in itself was the biggest miracle associated with this film.

This film is strikingly similar to (and, incredibly, even worse than) Terence Young's THE AMAZONS (1974), which I watched only last month. Rod Taylor, who had just become a star thanks to George Pal's screen version of H.G. Wells' THE TIME MACHINE (1960), unwisely chose to follow it up with this turkey; his performance is embarrassing – especially the lamentable attempts at comedy – and, in fact, comes off like a cut-rate Tony Curtis! Likewise, Ed Fury makes very little impression as the proverbial muscleman (and, presumably, the Colossus of the title – though his character is actually named Glauco, even in the English-dubbed version!).

As for the women, here we have: a rather unattractively made-up Dorian Gray (a regular fixture of Toto' comedies, though she also appeared in one film apiece by Fellini and Antonioni!); Daniela Rocca (best known as the mousy wife Marcello Mastroianni wants to get rid of in Pietro Germi's DIVORCE – Italian STYLE [1961]), whose character is constantly falling flat on her face for no apparent reason!; and Gianna Maria Canale (who appeared in countless sword-and-sandal titles but also starred in the first Italian horror film, I VAMPIRI [1956], co-directed by Riccardo Freda and Mario Bava), who's been saddled with the rather thankless role of the Amazon Queen who must fulfill her destiny by remaining a spinster!

Truly, this has to be one of the worst films ever - which prompted director Bertrand Tavernier, then a film critic, to call it "one of the funniest of Italian comedies"! - which, from the very first shot (in which a trumpeter loses his grip on his instrument!), gives you an idea of the clumsiness you are about to witness – with the inappropriate 'modern' score (including the dance routines that are a cross between Busby Berkeley and WEST SIDE STORY [1961]!) and the hilarious dubbing (particularly during the one scene where Tiberio Murgia, so memorable as Claudia Cardinale's jealous elder brother in BIG DEAL ON MADONNA STREET [1958], appears) featuring prominently among its highlights…er…lowpoints!

Actress Thea Fleming can be seen as one of the dancing girls in the big production number in the temple. She is hard to spot in the actual movie but she is very prominent in one of the stills in my collection. Larry Anderson