- Sheriff Titus Semple: Now me, I never forget anything.
- Lane Bellamy: You know sheriff; we had an elephant in our carnival with a memory like that. He went after a keeper that he'd held a grudge against for almost 15 years. Had to be shot. You just wouldn't believe how much trouble it is to dispose of a dead elephant.
- Lute Mae Sanders: [about Lane Bellamy] I like her. And knowing you don't, makes me like her twice as much.
- Sheriff Titus Semple: Ya can't go wrong in this town if you say Yep to the right people and Nope to the rest.
- Lute Mae Sanders: I never read the paper. If I don't know what's going on, I don't have to worry about it.
- Dan Reynolds: [Kisses Lane Bellamy, then holds her in an embrace while saying the following] "I'm just crazy about you... what's your last name?"
- Fielding Carlisle: Just trying to do what's right. It must be right, otherwise it wouldn't be so hard to do.
- Lane Bellamy: When I was very young, I made up my mind to be rich.
- Lute Mae Sanders: How'd you make out?
- Lane Bellamy: I thought it was better to change my mind.
- Fielding Carlisle: All sheriffs gotta wear this kind of hat. Otherwise, people wouldn't know they were the law.
- Sheriff Titus Semple: I've never been able to make up my mind if you're awful smart, or awful stupid.
- Lane Bellamy: I'm not a carnival girl anymore!
- Sheriff Titus Semple: Sure been actin' like it with young Carlisle.
- Sheriff Titus Semple: A man going into the legislature should have a heart of gold and a respectable wife.
- Sheriff Titus Semple: The only way to tell what a mule and a man can do, is to give him a field and a plow.
- Dan Reynolds: You can go a long way in this state if you want to. You've got a good name and with Titus backing you, you've got a good start. Stick with Titus. And remember one thing. He's the only man I know that can make a sow's ear out of a silk purse. Somehow I always hate to see it happen. Here's luck to you son.
- Dan Reynolds: I've made two big mistakes in my life - I underestimated Titus and I overestimated you. Too bad Sugar - the joke's on you. Titus is top man now.
- Lute Mae Sanders: I've got a hangover just from opening bottles for you last night. Did you have fun?
- Dan Reynolds: Honey, fun is like insurance. The older you get, the more it costs.