Teaserama

This film is bad even by 1955's standards. Sexy, it isn't. Even by the lowest rent version of Burlesque, it is a mess. The "Top Banana" has the unfortunate problem of not being funny. Not even with the "take my wife, please" joke. Production values are non-existent. With one exception, the women are...well, you judge for yourself. As for the stripping? You will see more skin on a Cape Cod beach in January than is displayed here.

There is nothing wrong with being tacky. But this is just incredibly boring. One dance goes on for seven minutes and is not one-hundredth as sexy as Rita Hayworth's dance in "Gilda".

The one glimmer of light in the entire film is 1950's icon Bettie Page. Bettie has two dance numbers. Neither of which are very good. She also introduces each act with it's own title card. It is here that she shines. There is a freshness, a sexy naughty girl-next-door quality that she lends to these all to brief moments.

If you are a BIG Bettie Page fan and have a fast forward button then rent this. Otherwise, for your own safety, stay a way from this film at all costs.

Well, at least Teaserama has Betty Page and the spectacularly-chested Tempest Storm to lure the viewer into a false sense of security. Once you get past these two, however, the film degenerates into dull gyrations from a variety of forgettable women, as well as painfully unfunny comedy routines. I assume they're supposed to be comedy; they could be just random words, it's hard to tell.

If you're a fan of Betty Page, Tempest Storm, or just kitschy camp silly costumed burlesque then you might as well watch it. If you want something erotic, or exciting, then don't watch it..

This is horribly dated piffle. It doesn't have a plot and it's completely tedious. The wonderful Betty Page is wasted in one of the worst movies of all time.

Teaserama (1955)

** (out of 4)

The infamous Irvin Klaw produced and directed this burlesque show, which shows off a variety of dancers with the highlights being Bette Page and Tempest Storm. Page also hosts the ladies as she will walk out on a stage with the upcoming performer's name on a card.

TEASERAMA is going to mainly appeal to fans of burlesque who like to see this type of dancing. I'm not going to lie but this type of thing was never one of my favorites, although I will say that there's some appeal here as this is presented like an actual show so we get the girls dancing and in between their acts we get some comic routines.

The comic routines are downright horrible and you have to wonder why any show would even bother with them. They're among the worst bits of comedy that you'll ever see and I doubt too many people were happy to see them. As far as the girls go, they're certainly very attractive and if you enjoy this type of dancing they will be worth your while.

Of course, the main attraction here is Page and while she was a horrible dancer there's no question that she contained a certain magic that just made it impossible to take your eyes off of her. She's very flirtatious with the camera and this certain leaps off the screen and right at the viewer.

Everything the first reviewers have said is true. However, if you weren't there when old-time burlesque was in vogue, you have no way to see it except really awful b/w shorts with bad performers, or sanitized revues like THIS WAS BURLESQUE, or modern burlesque done in an entirely different historical context.

TEASERAMA and VARIETEASE have top-name performers presenting their routines exactly as audiences of the day saw them.

This is the real thing, and if the dancers don't seem all that erotic, or the comics don't seem funny, still that's the way it was for the guys in the audience back then.