La sirena del circo

How to get ESTHER WILLIAMS wet and still have an entertaining musical must have finally gotten to whomever dreamed up this lackluster, shoddy script for the MGM swimming star. She seldom dips a toe into the water and when she does her swimming scenes are brief.

In fact, the whole story is told in little more than one hour and seventeen minutes--and even then, it's exasperating to watch so little happen. The story is the tired old mistaken identity theme taken to ridiculous heights by RED SKELTON, who's mistaken for an obnoxious and wealthy oil baron (KEENAN WYNN) at a luxury hotel with a deluxe size swimming pool. HOWARD KEEL ambles into the story via horseback singing just one of several unmemorable songs and is soon ogling Esther poolside in a manner designed to get her to take a dip (for the sake of her fans).

ANN MILLER pops up to add some breezy Texas charm to the proceedings, but even her lively dance numbers lack the usual splash MGM gave to its production numbers. Esther is supposed to be a carnival girl who gets dumped into water by any man who can throw a curve ball--and she's hungry, or so we're told, to the point where she faints in the arms of Howard Keel who then chases her until she's caught. Esther has to be one of the healthiest gals ever supposed to be suffering from malnutrition that I've ever seen.

The hazy plot plods along until the predictable ending with the stolen identity cleared up and Esther is ready to melt into Keel's arms--none too soon.

Summing up: At least Esther had MILLION DOLLAR MERMAID in her future--but this is one where she's just killing time. Very unworthy vehicle for the swimming star par excellence.

If you want to see a direct descendant of the Buster Keaton line of comedy, this is surely the movie. Skelton's funny physical antics while trying to retrieve a dollar from the floor or getting drunk with Keenan Wynne are topped by a chuckwagon race finale that deftly combines comedy and dangerous stunts.

In the supporting cast you've got Ann Miller's legs. I esp enjoyed seeing her tap her dancers' bongos. Ahem.

Esther Williams and Howard Keel are also in this movie, I assume, because Hollywood producers needed their names on the marquee to sell tickets. Fair enough. But they're mostly wasted. That ''underwater dream sequence" is goofy. And their romance is perfunctory.

A reference to a wrecked car (with no preceding scene with Skelton presumably wrecking the car, probably with Miller on board), a reference by Williams to a dinner speech she didn't actually give, and a romance between Skelton and Miller that had no beginning (I don't count her dance number by the piano) leaves me to conclude that 15 minutes or so got hacked out of this movie after preview audiences full of dummies said, ''it dragged in parts" and ''the car wreck scene wasn't funny" or ''that speech was boring."

Nevertheless, as long as you're not expecting to see Esther Williams floating around in a pool for 90 minutes (thankfully that only lasts about 90 seconds here) this is a decent way to kill just over an hour.

Debbie Telford (Esther Williams) is the dunk tank girl with partner Cornie Quinell (Red Skelton). Cornie is too honest and helps out wealthy rancher Dan Sabinas with the carnies. Dan takes the taxi while Cornie returns his car to his hotel. Cornie and Debbie are mistaken for Dan and his sister Marilla.

The start is a little funny. I would have liked more carnival. I like Debbie being pursued by Slim Shelby. Then the movie stalls a bit. It was fast becoming a failure before the wagon race. The wagons allow Red Skelton to do some physical comedy and the stunt people to do some good work. It basically woke me up.

Penniless carnival barker Red Skelton and chorine-turned-dunking girl Esther Williams are mistaken for millionaires and are forced to enter a Chuck Wagon race to eradicate a gambling debt. Modest M-G-M comedy-musical filmed in Technicolor looks just as good as the studio's more-popular output--what was needed, however, was a screenplay with bigger laughs and stronger characterizations. Skelton juggles, sings, and performs some pleasing comedy shtick, but he's too polite here; director Charles Walters keeps Red reigned-in so much that a nutty drunk routine late in the movie seems out of place. Williams has a nifty fantasy number where she appears to pole-dance underwater (!), while Ann Miller has one great tap-dance sequence accompanied by a mad xylophone. Isolated moments of fun linked by the barest minimum of plot, though the wild slapstick finale nearly makes up for the picture's deficiencies. **1/2 from ****

This brash and often noisy Technicolor trifle is definitely not for those expecting to enjoy a series of Esther's more elaborate water ballets. She spends a minimal amount of time in the water in this one and there's only one trademark production number, a dream sequence in which she floats sinuously about in Howard Keel's darkened hotel room, trailing yards of diaphanous white veiling, that comes close to what her fans might have lined up at the box-office hoping to enjoy.

Esther, however, looks wondrously healthy and pretty throughout, the very picture of an All-American Girl, acting with her usual pert insouciance. Howard gets to unleash his rich bass-baritone in two or three forgettable songs, though he certainly looks convincing as a lanky ranch foreman. Red Skelton contributes his usual shtick, at some tedious length here and there, and even manages to amuse today's audiences with a skillfully executed pratfall or two. Ann Miller, ever the most energetic in the cast, seems to come out on top in this pastiche, tossing off a couple of her patented leg-tossing, tippy-tapping dance amazements, choreographed by the reliable Hermes Pan.

M-G-M touted this as 'Another Big MGM Musical' but it appears to have been rather thriftily produced, with some minimal location work that looks notably cobbled together, especially in a concluding and very extended chuck wagon race, which involves some dangerously risky stunt work, by the way.

Keenan Wynn lends some very sour support, as a Texas millionaire, overly fond of his bourbon. Skelton also is supposed to imbibe a prodigious amount in one drawn-out sequence, and we're meant to find it riotously funny, something that may have been acceptable back in the early 1950s but which fails to amuse as easily today, with our greater awareness of the very deleterious effects of excessive alcohol intake.

It's also amusing to note how very much inflation has devalued the American dollar in the more than half-century since this film was released. A multi-room hotel suite large enough to fill one of M-G-M's average soundstages is quoted as costing what would be the usual price in today's dollars for a single, modest hotel room in a smaller U.S. city. A doctor makes a house call, to tend a briefly ailing Ms. Williams (She's fainted from hunger, poor thing!), for a fee that wouldn't cover the charge for administering an aspirin anywhere in a U. S. health facility today. A beautiful Lincoln Cosmopolitan convertible is smashed into a tree (mercifully, off-camera) and the quoted estimated tariff for its repairs (supposedly including a ruined dashboard) is so laughably minuscule that the total wouldn't cover a six months' insurance premium assessed for an ultra-safe contemporary driver with no traffic citations on his/her record over many prior years of accident-free mileage. What price progress?!?