- Aunt Edna Collier: Oh, and I am so glad you came - it's so important to have a lawyer at parties these days.
- Cecelia Henry: [about the fighting heard in the kitchen by their new husband and wife servants] You better go in and do something. I think he's hitting her.
- Tom Collier III: Best I can do is give her a long count.
- Tom Collier III: [returning after investigating in the kitchen] It's all right, she's hitting him.
- Pat Regan: Don't you think she's a little, er... would "cold" be the word?
- Tom Collier III: Oh, those women with a classic type of beauty are a little... reserved.
- Pat Regan: Well, give me a little less looks, a little more Fahrenheit.
- Tom Collier III: You gotta admit she's awful smart.
- Pat Regan: [ominously] Boss, she's a whole lot smarter than you are.
- Owen Arthur: I don't suppose it would do any good to remind you that marriage has to do with other things besides spending money.
- Cecelia Henry: Really? Do tell me.
- Owen Arthur: Well, making a home, having children.
- Cecelia Henry: For other people perhaps.
- Owen Arthur: You are the most selfish woman I've ever met.
- Cecelia Henry: Thanks for the compliment - now get me the drink.
- Tom Collier III: Pat, is it that you just don't like the idea of marriage?
- Pat Regan: No, no. Marriage is okay. It's been going on for a long time - there must be something to it. Although personally I wouldn't care to find out.
- Tom Collier III: Just you haven't met the right girl.
- Pat Regan: Hm. Boss, I meet the right girl on the average of twice a week. No it's just that a man who's married gets tied down. One day he turns round and he's fifty.
- [first lines]
- Owen Arthur: [to Pat upon the two and Cecelia entering the darkened Collier mansion, then the lights turning on] Not your best effort, Mr. Hitchcock.
- Pat Regan: No, kinda morbid, ain't it.
- Cecelia Henry: To say the least.
- Pat Regan: Well it's supposed to be a surprise party, ma'am.
- Cecelia Henry: Oh. I thought it was a housewarming for Dracula.
- Owen Arthur: [to Cecelia] Well you wanted to come.
- Christie Sage: [referring to Aunt Edna] What's the meaning of that bit of fated lace?
- Pat Regan: We never have found out.
- [last lines]
- Tom Collier III: Well, I had a very busy morning. I sent my friends to jail, and my wife to Reno. What are you doing this afternoon and evening?
- Christie Sage: I don't know, but one thing's sure, I'm not going away to Mexico like I did the last time.
- Tom Collier III: [after a long pause in grabbing Christie's hand while looking longingly in her eyes, and as the restaurant singer starts singing a romantic song] Are you hungry?
- Christie Sage: [shaking her head negatively] Uh-uh. Are you?
- Tom Collier III: No. Let's go for a walk.
- Christie Sage: [excitedly] All right.
- [Tom and Christie get up to walk up the stairs out of the restaurant, as Poppa comes to their table with two flaming shish kebab, the second time this scenario has happened]
- Poppa Diaduska: [exasperated looking at Tom and Christie as they leave not having eaten their meals] This is scandalous.
- Christie Sage: This is Thomas Rufus Collier, the third.
- Jim Fisk: Only two world wars and already three Colliers. Incredible.