- Oliver Hardy: What a beautiful home. And what luxury! And to think its all ours.
- Stan Laurel: What do you mean - ours? It's mine!
- Oliver Hardy: [looks into the camera, back at Stan] There you are. Just like all the rest of them. Sitting on top of the world and turning down your best pal. Your benefactor! I might have known it. Well, goodbye. And good luck.
- [looks into the camera, turns around, then back again at Stan]
- Oliver Hardy: Twas ever thus.
- Stan Laurel: [looks into the camera, back at Ollie] Oliver? Are you really going?
- Oliver Hardy: [looks into the camera, nods his head yes, Stan gives him the umbrella, shocked, Ollie looks into the camera, back at Stan, throws the umbrella on the floor] So you would turn me out? Eh!
- Oliver Hardy: Good evening, sir. This is Mr. Laurel.
- Detective: Are you sure you're a Laurel?
- Oliver Hardy: Why, sure! Sure! Why?
- [points to a portrait painting]
- Oliver Hardy: Can't you see the family resemblance?
- Detective: Yeah? That happens to be General Grant.
- Oliver Hardy: Why, of course it's General Grant. His son and I belong to the same alma mater. Meaning: Delta Phi Delta. Raw-Raw-Raw. Raw-Raw-Raw. Sis--Boom--Raw.
- Oliver Hardy: You're name's Laurel isn't it?
- Stan Laurel: Well, only on my mother's side. You see, it was like this, I...
- Oliver Hardy: [shoves Stan] Mother's side.
- [sighs]