Gli incubi di Dario Argento

In 1987, Dario Argento participated in the creation of a variety show called "Giallo" for Italian television. The series was hosted by Enzo Tortora and had a magazine-style format consisting of interviews, panel discussions, and behind the scenes features on the latest giallo/horror movies. The most interesting part of the show, however, were the short films directed or produced by Argento. One of these was a series of 15-minute whodunnits called "Turno di notte". The other was altogether more bizarre and downright experimental.

"Dario Argento's Nightmares" was the title of a segment consisting of very brief shorts (between 2 and 4 minutes each) supposedly based on Argento's own nightmares. Each short is presaged by an introduction from Argento and his co-host Coralina Cataldi-Tassoni. These intros are far better than the ones Argento did for his previous TV series "Door Into Darkness". 13 years later, he seems much more at ease in front of the camera especially since he's not trying to put on a mysterious, sinister persona. Here he is simply himself - a slightly awkward but pleasant and jokey persona who briefly informs us about the premise of each short.

The shorts themselves are fairly simplistic and are mainly interesting for some striking and memorable imagery. A few of them tell little stories with a Hitchcockian twist but most are downright experimental such as the bizarre and aptly named "Falling Asleep (Addormentarsi)" in which a man is killed by a shadow and turns into a giant mouth which eats his dog. Another wonderfully grotesque short is "Nostalgia Punk" in which a woman drinks a glass of poison and tries to cure herself by quite literally ripping her own guts out. This surprisingly gory little film caused a fair bit of controversy when it first aired on TV but is easily the best and most memorable of all the nightmares.

Equally as controversial is "Loving and Dying (Amare e morire)", a delightfully perverted short in which a woman tries to find her rapist by sleeping with each of the three suspects. The premise is so repugnant and insensitive that I couldn't help but love the sheer audacity of putting this story on TV.

What makes these shorts so fun to watch is the excellent photography harkening back in style to Argento's finest films such as "Suspiria" and "Deep Red". I don't know who the director of photography was on this show but whoever it was absolutely nailed the gorgeous primary colours which dominated Luciano Tovoli's "Suspiria" palette. Look, for example, at the positively beautiful-looking "The Worm (Il verme)" bathed in overwhelming neon blues. This insignificant little 2-minute short looks better than any film Argento has made since 1987.

Other shorts are less interesting such as "Sammy", a starring vehicle for a nine-year-old contest winner, which is the most lacklustre and least imaginative of all the nightmares. Also ineffective is "Night Rituals (Riti notturni)", the segment with perhaps the most complex narrative which is rather awkwardly compressed into the 2-minute format. Argento pretty much narrates the entirety of this segment making it feel more like an audiobook than a visual experience.

Even though Argento in his introductions claims that these shorts are based on his nightmares at least two of them are heavily inspired by other authors. "The Witch (La strega)" is an uncredited adaptation of Ray Bradbury's gruesome short story "The October Game". It's a decent little adaptation but by removing the context of the story (and the father's motivation) Argento robs it of its satirical edge. Meanwhile, the first short "Rear Window" is Argento's homage to Hitchcock in which a teenager sees a murder occurring through his window and rushes out to save the victim. Unfortunately, he is attacked by giant man-eating snakes! This brief but amusing Hitchcock homage is somewhat undone by the protagonist's truly horrible acting. Still, it's an interesting seed for what Argento would later turn into "Do You Like Hitchcock?".

The "series" (if you can call it that) ended with a metatextual short called "The Nightmare of the Person Who Wanted to Star in 'Dario Argento's Nightmares'". In it, a young man selected to star in an episode finds that the experience of working on the show is as nightmarish as the show itself. It's a lot of fun to get a little peek behind the scenes but this short was something of a disappointment. Instead of taking a chance to poke fun at himself, Argento turns this nightmare into an uncomfortably xenophobic little horror short which ends on a predictable and poorly executed twist.

"Dario Argento's Nightmares" is the most obscure of all of maestro's works but is well worth seeking out for any Argento fan. These shorts are brief and often quite rudimentary but they are executed with such unexpected gusto and imagination! The photography is beautiful, the effects gnarly and entertaining, and some of the stories are so bizarre and perverted that you just have to see them to believe them.