Virtual Death Match

I don't know if I've ever seen a video production that was so awful. Is it intentionally bad? Please stop. Never make another movie. The cinematography was as if you handed a monkey a camera and asked it to film. Actually, it's like they took every angle, reviewed it and said, "yeah, but could you do it worse please". The script writing was abysmal, and the actors didn't know how to portray emotion. The premise is actually pretty interesting. I really don't know how it's possible to start with something interesting and make it terrible unless there was an individual, possibly, Louise Warren, constantly saying "yes, but worse please."

Louisa Warren, the hardest working woman in modern British horror (16 feature films and counting) gives a low-budget, horror themed spin on Ready Player One (with an eye on the recent Jumanji movies too) with Virtual Death Match, in which several down on their luck peeps enter into a virtual reality world. There -for the delectation of a bunch of jaded, champagne drinking, eurotrash types- they fight against evil nuns, killer scarecrows (Warren really, really loves her killer scarecrows), and a psycho mime and chainsaw wielding clown double act (the latter played by Warren herself). Virtual Death Match (or Virtual Death Day, as the version I saw was called) captures Warren at her most silliest and liveliest. Despite this being one of Warren's longest films- nearly two hours- it is positively hyperactive by her standards, with few dull spots. On the down side the over reliance on CGI gore brings things down a few notches, and hopefully won't become a regular trend in her films, but Warren does demonstrate a far greater flair for action scenes here, which has been a weak spot in some of her earlier films. Characters who initially come across as one dimensional and grating, become surprisingly more endearing, human and understandable as the film progresses, especially when their motives for competing in the death match are revealed. As the venal, back stabbing VR player, Richard Myers makes for a great scumbag though. Tiffany-Ellen Robinson is cute and adorable, and wins your sympathy for the leather boots they've outfitted her in alone, which are clearly causing her problems in all those running around scenes, even Kate Milner Evans' wonky American accent and face pulling are starting to become amusing. Virtual Death Match also gives a feisty, asskicking lead role to Sarah T Cohen, who Brit horror wise has been really knocking it out of the park recently with standout roles in Cupid and Clowndoll/Joker Clown. Maybe on account of this and the upcoming HellKat (in which she plays a character who descends into hell to battle werewolves and demons in MMA matches) she'll become Nu-Brit horror's answer to Gina Carano. If you watch many of the recent British horror films, you'll propably be familiar with Sarah T Cohen, but this is the first film I've seen to show her off in an action heroine capacity, something which I guess will continue over into HellKat, and something she does appear to have a flair for, although if you've only seen her in non-action roles, like playing a pregnant lady in Clowndoll, it does take you aback to see her fighting with nuns here..these are evil nuns...but I suppose nuns being violently beaten up is itself something you don't see in movies everyday. Incidentally the T in Sarah T Cohen apparently stands for Topchik, which does crack me up, I know that technically it's spelt TOPCHIK but on the basis of this and the HellKat trailer she more than earns the name Top Chick.

Normally I can accept a budget film, and 3.5/5 stars, in fact I don't mind a movie with no effects or glam. This movie can be summed up by one word - lazy.

The story script and acting are both beyond awful.

Just listening to what they are saying is painful, but the actors inability to act, look sincere and even portray facial expression made me want to get into VR and cut myself up with a chainsaw.

Bad guys are the scarecrow, the nun, and the mime. The writer or writer has zero thought. From the outset it's going to be very predictable. I've no idea what others are talking about on here or how much they were paid.

Lasted all of 15minutes.

I can tell this movie is trying, but I literally predicted the ending within the first 5 minutes. The whole movie is formulaic to all ends, the plot sucks, the characters suck minus the blonde dude, the effects all suck, the rules they make up are about as consistent and fair as you'd expect, being not at all. At the end of the day, it's just a crappily produced, sci-fi low budget version of Would You Rather, down to the unfortunate ramifications of not reading the fine print. It's not the worst thing ever but trust me, it's still terrible.

Please Louisa Warren, stop making these type of films!

Appearing for a big tournament, a group of gamers start a new game where they have to survive a series of levels against various villains and killers sent against them to complete to win the grand prize offered by the game organizers, but soon learn something far more dangerous is occurring.

Overall, this was a decidedly decent if somewhat flawed genre effort. One of the better aspects of this one is the way it manages to bring about a rather modern setup with some intriguing work here. Going for a strong lifeline on gaming culture with the appearance of the group signing up for the tournament, running through the rules of the process, and the base strategies of each level, the whole experience makes for a wholly intriguing starting point with enough hints and highlights that something's wrong. That they're all playing with the implication that they can be hurt in the game as well as real-life, hiding a really dark secret with the dark rules of the game, how they're going to get everything together for the viewers, and the purpose behind the whole setup which makes for a strong starting point. As well, once it moves into the individual games, there's a lot to like with the way everything comes together. Treating the experience like mini-movies with how the levels are designed with tasks, challenges, and villains unique to that level come together, it allows for a nice series of encounters throughout here, including the fight with the scarecrows in the cornfields or the series of stalking scenes against the nuns. As the characters are allowed multiple lives until they're truly dead, this adds some fun where they can return multiple times are the different levels, which keeps the body count decent enough at such a small level. The intensive fighting going on in the final levels adds a decent touch to this, where it relies more on strategy rather than brute force, which makes an intriguing enough aspect with this one. There are some issues here that hold it down. The biggest factor against this one is the wholly unnecessary sense of change that goes on with the rules that provide this one with the chance to offer up expected and unsurprising twists throughout the film. It's not that shocking to see blatant betrayals throughout the gameplay, which comes off as incredibly obvious how they would act, even though the goal of the game was teamwork. These all bring about some generally lackluster revelations about their true purpose for being involved in the game, which comes about especially once the more nefarious members are allowed to come about and show their true colors. There's not much about these that shocks or even registers since they're all expected, and with the low budget on display also hindering this one are its biggest issues.

Rated Unrated/R: Language and Violence.