Secret Team 355

The 355 is modern commercialism. It has little to say and is painfully generic, but it plays up its female-centric cast, hoping to make up for its thin substance. Diverse representation is a positive, but when it's solely a marketing gimmick for an underwhelming project, it's tainted. In fact, The 355 is fairly insulting because female led movies often get these poor efforts. Specifically, the film is a collection of cliches. Stock characters, predictable heel turns, unrealistic MacGuffins, exaggerated stakes, and some deus ex machina for good measure. Plus, the acting is bland (outside of Nyong'o, who brings legitimate emotion).

Technically, the camerawork is excessively shaky and the editing is overcut, fruitlessly compensating for dull action. The production design is uninspired and limited. The audio design is involved but sometimes misuses action sounds. The music is forgettable and the effects are overly sanitized. Lastly, the direction lacks unity, creating a mundane and inconsistent experience. None of this is necessarily terrible, but The 355 just isn't great. Overall, it feels like a halfhearted ploy that capitalizes on good-natured people who want to support minority empowerment. Unfortunately for those viewers, The 355 does very little for the female cause.

Writing: 4/10 Direction: 4/10 Cinematography: 5/10 Acting: 6/10 Editing: 5/10 Sound: 6/10 Score/Soundtrack: 5/10 Production Design: 4/10 Casting: 7/10 Effects: 6/10

Overall Score: 5.2/10.

I thought this was about as good as any recent spy action thriller. Good action, plot twists and ending. It's a bit predictable and formulaic and not very believable in many parts. Overall pretty entertaining.

I had a decent time with this movie. It's nothing special but is mostly enjoyable. The best part is the cast. I love Jessica Chastain. Diane Kruger gives a good performance. Lupita Nyong'o is kind of a beast; she kills the emotional moments. The action is fun and I was never bored.

There are also a ton of flaws. The fight scenes are super choppy with lots of quick cuts. So many moments are fully predictable. They try to have a message but in the clunkiest of ways. Like this line, "We all look different, we speak different, but we are the same." I love me a message about unity and I despise racism, but you gotta do better than that. And there are a couple moments where I burst out laughing at an unintentionally hilarious moment, like one involving a perfume bottle.

I also can't stand when a movie has stuff in the script that belongs in a rated R movie but they want to sell to a wider audience so they hide things and cut away. It's so noticeable and takes me out of the movie. Either remove those parts completely, or just go for it and make it rated R. Most movie fans including myself would enjoy it more and respect it more. And maybe it wouldn't have been such a flop at the box office.

In the end, I'm glad I watched this but I doubt I'd revisit it. Although I'm pretty sure I'd watch a sequel. Just please hire a good fight director and just go all in with an R-rating.

Random side note, does anyone else think the actor who plays Luis looks like a Latino Gerard Butler?

Another side note, why is Lupita Nyong'o 17th on the list of actors on IMDb? She should be third at worst, if not second. And I don't mean the full list which is in order of appearance. This is on the main page for The 355. Seems fishy. (1 viewing, 3/12/2022)

Looking at the wattage of the cast one might wonder how on Earth a project like this could go so horrifically awry, but then you have to remember that it is directed by none other than Simon Kinberg. Kinberg who is a talented and successful producer unto himself has demonstrated once more that he requires a high caliber screenplay to be placed into his hands prior to rolling cameras.

The 355 is sort of a version of a mixture of a Bourne Identity flick without the gravity and a Mission Impossible movie without the craftsmanship. Lead by Diane Kruger, Penelope Cruz, Jessica Chastain, Fan Bingbing and Lupida Nyong'o, on paper, in a film with these performers operating at a high level and with a slick score by Junkie XL, one would think that this movie would be a hit with ease, but again we have to remember one thing, at least at this point Simon Kinberg does not have the wherewithal to be the helmsman of giant, globe sprawling action movie.

My wife and I watched this on Peacock streaming. The movie has received very mixed reviews, and I can understand why. Not all of it makes sense, and the "drive" that is being sought and auctioned is a mcguffin of sorts. It is the thing that unites the five ladies, from secret agencies of several different countries, to finally band together to keep it out of the hands of the wealthy oligarchs.

But as a "popcorn" movie, just for sheer action and entertainment, it is pretty good. As long as it isn't taken very seriously. My only complaint is the very heavy emphasis on guns and shooting, including several point-blank execution style killings. They could have been more subtle than that. We have too much of that in daily life already, we don't need to see so much of it in movies intended for entertainment.