Ghoul Scout Zombie Massacre

To write a scathing review of this film is kind of preposterous. Is it in questionable taste? Yes. Is it kinda derivative? Of course. Zero-buget production? Check. But boring? GTFO, lulz! The women - er, uh, 'girls' - are cute, sexy, and occasionally nude. The dudes are dumb. The baddies evil perverts - and the surprise villain must be seen to believe. Plus an extended cameo by notorious genre great, Joel M. Reed (Career Bed, Bloodsucking Freaks, et al)! The slight 71 minute running time breezes by, with grotty sight gags and lewd humor galore. Your mom would hate it (which is probably the best review you can give for a film of this nature). So, yeah, high art it's not - but it is a loving homage to all things trashy, 'bad', and gross. I omitted two starts for it's short running time and flute solos. But if you're even here reading this, I guarantee you'll find something to love - just bring your barf bag!

I spent my socially distant Halloween watching this movie, and it did not disappoint. Kind of a mash up of George Romero and John Waters with absolutely zero budget, Ghoul Scout is a very intentional B movie. It's fast paced and trashy with lots of dark humor, exactly as it should be. The sibling/villains had great energy together, and you could tell the whole cast was having a blast. Definitely recommend watching this with a group (safely over Zoom if you're reading this during the pandemic).

Ghoul Scout Zombie Massacre consists of 3 parties. One, is of a D&D nerd rockband, that unfortunately does not effectively parody nerd culture or band culture like other films and shows have done successfully, thus I wonder why these character elements were included. The second party is a bunch of prison inmates (I think) led by a nazi she wolf esque characters. Most of their actions are them fitting the dumb bimbo stereotype. There acting is bad, as I assume it is intended, though not bad enough to be funny. The final party is the gay Mad Scientist and his slave. The Dr wasn't so bad as an actor, decent actually. The patsy character was a bit too over the top for me. Over all reminds me of something like Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, but not as fun and with a lot more angst and sex stuff. Also, for a zombie movie, zombies don't show up until 50 minutes in and even when they do they don't have a lot to do with the film, with scenes of the characters playing spin the bottle and truth or dare during the outbreak.

The time I spent watching this movie back, and brain bleach. It's right up there with such fine films as Howard the Duck, Spaced Invaders, and It's Pat. Go watch paint dry or grass grow. That'll be more entertaining.

Not since the days of Gone With The Wind has a film come along with such classic charm and subtle wit. The ensemble cast gives a formidably robust and nuanced performance that would make A-list actors like George Clooney and Angelina Jolie cry tears of jealously. If only all future movies in Hollywood were cast using the characters in this film, particularly Patsy in all the leads, perhaps we could finally save the fragile genre of Motion Picture. Ghoul Scout Zombie massacre, directed by groundbreaking lesbian filmmaker Erica Eichelberger, remains a testament to the true art of Cinema. Thank you, Lord for this amazing miracle.