Condor's Nest

This is by far the worst attempt at a war film, that I'm guessing, was also trying to be funny in a Inglourious Basterds kind of way, but not even a smirk was cracked - more like cringe moments. This felt more like a long, dragged out bad SNL sketch. The 102 min runtime felt endless with terrible pacing and long dragged out and mostly unnecessary scenes. At best, this should've been a short film. The story was just flaccid, lame, and boring. I've seen better cast performances in a high school drama class, but I'm sure most of the blame falls on writer and director Phil Blattenberger's inexperience on how to direct his cast properly. I'm not sure why this nonsense was even made. The bogus high reviews are more entertaining. It's a very generous 3/10 from me, being very forgiving for many rookie mistakes by a newb filmmaker. Blattenberger should've at least consulted a more experienced filmmaker for the many needed areas of improvement.

Condor's Nest promises us a trip across South America on an old-fashioned Nazi-hunting adventure and in spite of some deficiencies it delivers.

We're thrown into war-torn Europe in the film's opening scene, as the story's protagonist, Will Spalding, watches German colonel Martin Bach (Arnold Vosloo, more on that in a moment) gun down his entire platoon. Through an act of cowardice, Will alone survives.

Jump ten years later to Argentina and Will's killing runaway Nazis left and right, all in pursuit of that same Martin Bach. Enter an Israeli spy and a two-faced atomic scientist and things get complicated quick, a shaky alliance between the three culminating in a raid on a neo-Nazi fortress know as the Condor's Nest.

There's a lot of good things about this movie. It's well-paced, visually expansive, and its various arcs are compelling, if uninventive. There's even a few great things about it: its lead ensemble (Jacob Keohane, Al Pagano, Corinne Britti) is an absolute joy to watch, and Arnold Vosloo brings an incredible amount of presence to the role of the heavy. Add to that the movie's many notable character actors, from Michael Ironside to James Urbaniak, who help drive along the plot.

The bad? Well, it just wasn't terribly inventive. It's a stylized thriller that doesn't attempt to break any new ground. It could've been an 80's World War Two movie. And that's not a bad thing - in fact, I believe it's a strength - but if you're looking for something totally original you won't find it here.

This began like some of the better WWII flicks and captured our attention. There is intrigue as we ferret out the plot. But somewhere in the middle it degenerated into too much soap opera, with the realization that there was a writers' addiction to regular and over-used pistol-to-the-head killing. The wife quit and left for bed halfway through. I should have, but hoped it would wash out better... it didn't.

There was some good acting, but the overall movie sank, especially near the end where the main character gets hold of a heavy gun and starts killing dozens of bad guys, bad guys with automatic rifles, and that are dumb enough to keep incessantly running into the open in front of him, as comrades fall under their feet.

As realistic and engaging as this thing started, it sure degraded into just another lousy unrealistic shoot ''em up by its finish.

No spoilers. This movie open was so much promise. The first half of the movie is excellent. The protagonist is ruthless and it's consistent with the character. However, the second half of the movie the protagonist turns into a beta male, the girl boss shows up and saves the day, and, the scenes with the Nazis are played to whimsical tone. That's almost a separate movie from the first half. Really disappointing that the movie didn't hold it serious tone throughout the movie. What opened as a movie about Obsession and ruthlessness, degrades into standard adventure, fair and inappropriate whimsical scenes that are not consistent with first half of the movie.

CONDOR'S NEST follows the vengeance quest of an American pilot who watched his crew get murdered by a Nazi and travels through South America killing tons of crazy Nazis to find him. There, that's the plot, and, basically, the entire movie. You're welcome.

THE GOOD: Character actors abound in this one, and they save what otherwise might be a particularly grim affair; every Nazi of significance is played by some talented folks ranging from Jackson Rathbone to Bruce Davison, providing a splash of color to the story.

THE BAD: Lead actor Jacob Keohane does a fine enough job, but finds himself buried by the personalities around him. There's no room for him to breathe emotionally, and we end up with a competent actor playing a one-note character.

THE UGLY: This is, very obviously, not shot in South America.

CONCLUSION: it's fairly entertaining, but if you're looking for Ben Hur you're going to wind up disappointed.