The Barge People

Turned it off about 45 minutes in. I Couldn't take this film seriously. Not a terrible concept, just too corny for me.

The title "The Barge People" sounded ridiculous, and even though it may be, it was a fun ride of old school horror. I think those of rated this film low have been spoiled with excessive CGI horror and scifi. None of that here, just some good old slasher gore. Two couples take a trip on a barge, unaware of the carnivorous creatures that lurk in their path. For a B horror flick, the acting is good and the battle for survival keeps the suspense going. Suspend belief, and enjoy some great horror tropes and moments.

The trailer really won me over and purchased this uncut version from Germany.

Rubber masks aside the fikm has sone ok moments.

Cliche ridden ? Yes of course.

Cheesey one liners and old creepy men shouting Warnings , the Slaughtred Lamb tyoe pub, angry locals.

Mutated Fish men too! Who seem to pointlessly and unexplainably bleed dirty canal water when stabbed. Ha ha The frying pan scene reminded me of Rik and Ade in Bottom. Unintentionally hilarious.

Not really much gore, deaths mostly off screen unfortunately, but lots of blood thrown about and an interestingly shot Barge attack are ok.

Yes its cheap, yes it's not original but it has heart, some surprisingly good acting (the nasty local blonde women being one) and the male and female lead did a convincing job.

If didnt show the mutants as much, didnt have them talk and spent a little more on some actual make up for wounds etc this could have been worlds better.

Seen far worse and it did keep me entertained. A Solid 5.5.

Kudos to the guy who made that, because as it turns out, The Barge People ain't that great. First thing, in the opening, they refer to the Kennet and Avon Canal. My heart sank. Oh no, this can't be British horror? Unfortunately, yes.

Overall, I will say I was entertained by this movie, and enjoyed it's unique setting, with the rented barges, but man oh man, was this movie derivative and predictable. Any twist or turn of events you can see coming. This movie, uh, borrows from at least a few other classics, most notably, to me, was the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Funny thing, if you read the trivia below, it says this filmmaker's previous movie is heavily inspired by TCM! Pretty sure I'll be skipping that one.

When was this movie supposed to have taken place? They put a yuppie in it! There were elements that were foreign to me (maybe just the result of a different culture), yet it had that stupid "retro 80's" (done by young people whose inability to ape 80's music is always evident) synthesizer score, the exact same one I've heard in countless other modern/retro horror movies over the past half-decade. I would deem this a modern trope all by itself. You want horror tropes? You've definitely got them here. My favorite: British J Mascis warns the 4 kids to turn around and go home! Every one of these types of movies has that scene. Here it is in 2018. I've seen meta horror poke fun of this trope. And I wonder what that bar maid is up to? Hmm, something's not right.

I mean, you could certainly do worse. It's got plenty of blood, a character (or -ers) you want to see die a miserable death, and rubber-masked inbred cannibalistic outcasted mutants... mutated by, well they give you a whole array of scenarios... all stolen! A solid 5, for being just dumb unoriginal fun.

Bloated fishy creatures make life miserable for a gang of mainly likeable friends on a boating holiday. The canal and surrounding area is very nicely shot by Charley Steeds, nicely showing off the beautiful UK countryside - and this makes a deceptively calm backdrop for when horrible things begin to happen.

Funnily enough, after a very effective first half, things dip a bit when the creatures turn up, and events seem to be heading in very familiar slasher territory (a scene prior to this involving the group entering a typically unfriendly country pub is surprisingly clichéd). This lull, however, doesn't last long.

The character of Ben is a cartoon character really, played as such by Matt Swayles. I get the impression he's brought in as light relief, which is fair enough, but seems a bit incongruous when everyone else is played as 'real'. Having said that, there are some nods into horror cliché which means Ben isn't entirely on his own.

I really enjoyed The Barge People. The budget is clearly a consideration - it would, therefore, be unfair to have a go at it because of a lack of multi-million dollar CGI effects or whatever. The creatures themselves look pretty convincing to me, although more could perhaps be made of their aquatic origins, which is never really explored.

All in all, great fun. 8 out of 10.