Coven

Ok, this is one of those teeny-bopper horror movies where everyone is pretty (including the guys). Wait, there is one dumb sexist hillbilly who the witches have to put in his place. Big surprise. Coven doesn't even pretend to be a ripoff of another famous young girl coven movie, it says so right on the cover!

Ok, you've got you're two catty lesbian witches that are always threatening to kiss, but never do, there's the real goofy witch, the peacenik witch, and the "new" witch who just wants to see her mother again. An accidental(?) sacrifice, a newfound "key" witch, whose most prevalent power seems to be the opening and closing of doors, and several various ceremonies later, the girls manage to summon the spirit of Ashura, who is supposed to bring great power to the coven. Only she just wants to kill everyone else, and funnily enough, make catty remarks. How old was this witch?

As you can see, not much of a story here. Could not for the life of me figure out why the non-possessed catty lesbian witch was arrested at the end. For being a bystander? For getting hit in the face with a lug nut wrench? For a bad attitude? What could they charge her with? They're going to explain a satanic ritual, an unholy battle, and a possession... to the police? Yeah, book this chick! Made zero sense.

Now, I am not sure if it was intentional or fully coincidental, but writer Lizze Gordon's 2020 movie "Coven" felt an awful lot like the 1996 movie "The Craft". Was it a tribute? Sort of a reboot? A rip off? Coincidental? I have no idea.

But I do know, however, that "Coven" was not having the same impact or level of entertainment as the 1996 movie had. Sure, the 2020 movie "Coven" from director Margaret Malandruccolo was watchable, but it was by no means an outstanding movie.

The concept of the storyline was adequate. But it just felt a bit too cliché, and too much off a rip off of the 1996 movie in my opinion. And that made this 2020 movie suffer. Sure, if you haven't seen the 1996 movie "The Craft", then I am sure you'll find "Coven" to be rather good. However, if you have seen the 1996 movie, then this 2020 movie just felt like a cup of lukewarm, watered down tea.

The special effects in the movie were adequate, although it felt somewhat comical at times from the way that the witches were tossing about their magical powers. But at least the CGI effects were proper and nice enough to look at.

One thing I don't understand is why director Margaret Malandruccolo felt that she had to show so many scenes with either scantily clad women or showing off naked breasts. It did very little to serve the movie in a manner to take it serious. If the director had opted for another approach, it would have felt more like a proper movie, instead of a pseudo-sleazy late teenage movie project.

I managed to sit through the entire movie, but I weren't overly entertained. Sure, the movie was watchable for what it was, but you shouldn't get your hopes up for this movie.

My rating of "Coven" lands on a less than mediocre four out of ten stars.

Complete disappointment. The acting is terrible, only the script is worse than it. After watching it, I had only one question: how can such a thing be filmed in our time?

This movie is so sapphic, yet cheap, that you'd think it was written by Sappho herself as interpreted by Roger Corman. Yes, the leads are hot, and they have *gasp* boobies - with those boobies being highlighted/displayed enough to keep Corman himself happy, but they couldn't frickin' act their way out of a wet paper bag.

That being said, it's also written really badly. Neither the story nor the dialogue work at all, and it probably wouldn't even pass muster in a CW show. Not even Riverdale. I'm only halfway through as I'm typing this and if it wasn't for the fact that I'm doing other stuff, I'd have turned this off about 30 minutes ago.

Still watching it and OMG this was an actual dialogue exchange: A: "She killed another girl and you still brought me to her?" (referencing a scene early in the movie where the antagonist literally stabbed someone to death) B: "I thought it was an accident!" What the actual...?

Welp, it just ended and yeah, it's as bad as I thought.

It only got 2 stars because of the boobies. If they weren't there, it'd be a zero. What can I say? I'm easily distracted!

Come on.... this was such a blatant attempt at ripping off the craft ... you guys didn't try very hard. It was hilariously awful!