What They Had

Greetings again from the darkness. "Til death do us part." Only far too often, long term marriages are not broken by death, but instead by memories being cruelly erased through disease. Alzheimer's and Dementia are dreadful diseases, even in the early stages. Writer-Director Elizabeth Chomko uses her feature film debut not to analyze the specifics of these diseases, but instead to focus on the incredibly personal and emotional fallout they produce.

At first glance, Bridget (Hilary Swank) seems to have figured things out in life. She's a California career woman married to a successful man (Josh Lucas), and their daughter Emma (Taissa Farmiga) is a college student. Slowly, the truth is unfurled - much of it after she receives a frantic call from her brother Nick (Michael Shannon) back home in Chicago. Their mother (Blythe Danner) is missing, having wandered out into a snow storm wearing her pajamas. Bridget and her daughter Emma hop on a plane and land in the middle of a huge family ordeal. See, Nick is exhausted from being the caregiver, and believes the best thing for their mother (and for him) is to move her into an extended care facility. Dad (Robert Forster) is adamant that she remain home with him, where she (and he) are most comfortable.

Of course, the turmoil doesn't end there. Bridget is in a loveless marriage. Emma has been evicted from her dorm for drinking. Nick's long-time girlfriend has booted him to the backroom of the bar he owns. Bert, the father, is unwilling to accept or even discuss surrendering the life he's known for decades. Ruth, the mom, is as apt to make a move on her son as to remember her daughter's name. Contrasting personalities abound in this house. Despite having power of attorney, Bridget is still intimidated by her bullying father, and seems to have no empathy for the burden carried by Nick. It's all very messy - just like a real family, and filmmaker Chomko revels in it.

It's so wonderful to see Robert Forster in such a hefty role. These days, he's typically relegated to a tertiary character where he mostly frowns and grunts. Not this time. He is at once a bullying force within the family, and an elderly man treading on fragile ground. He belittles his grown kids by calling his bar owner son a "bartender", and having coerced his daughter into marrying a man for security. Mr. Forster nails the role, as does Michael Shannon as his irksome son. Shannon is one of the best actors working today and he is mesmerizing with his snap backs - sometimes funny, sometimes mean, sometimes both.

There is some horrible relationship advice served up. The family philosophy is "pick somebody you can stand, and make a commitment", as there's no such thing as "bells and whistles". It's not the romantic chatter most movies provide, but it plays to the complicated bond between parents and kids (of all ages). Director Chomko brilliantly and accurately handles the gut-wrenching effects of Alzheimer's. She embraces laughter as a coping mechanism, and reminds us to enjoy the rare moments of clarity - those times a parent can remember who you are. There are a few cringe-inducing moments of mushy melodrama, but for the most part, Ms. Chomko delivers.

"What They Had" (2018 release; 98 min.) brings the story of a family dealing with Alzheimer's. As the movie opens, we see an older lady getting up in the middle of the night, getting dressed and leave the house while it's snowing hard. Some time later, her husband wakes up, and realizes that his wife Ruth, who has Alzheimer's, is gone. He calls his son Nicky to come help look. Nicky in turn calls his sister Bitty who lives in California. He asks her to come help with the situation, and Bitty along with her daughter Emma fly from California to Chicago. The next day Ruth is found, but it is clear this cannot go on. Or can it? At this point we're 10 min. into the movie but to tell you more of the plot would spoil your viewing experience, you'll just have to see for yourself how it all plays out.

Couple of comments: this is the writing and directing debut of actress Elizabeth Chomko (who does not appear in the movie). Yes, another movie dealing with Alzheimer's. As someone who has deal with this horrible disease up close (my dad deal with extreme Alzheimer's at the end of his life), I am more often than not surprised how "off" these movies are. Take Julianne Moore's "Still Alice" (for which she won a Best Actress Oscar no less): I thought it was a pretty weak movie. In contrast, I was surprised how "on" Chomko has it. The movie focuses more with the fallout onto the family having to deal with Ruth, rather than Ruth dealing with the disease, and that is a smart tack. Along the way, the script also explores the tensions between Nicky and Bitty, between those two and their dad, and between Bitty and her 20 year old daughter Emma. THe movie benefits from a strong ensemble cast, led by Hillary Swank as Bitty and Michael Shannon as Nicky. Beware: this movie is mostly an emotional gut punch, particularly in the last half hour. This isn't the type of movie where you walk out of the theater and think "that was a jolly good time!"

"What They Had" premiered at this year's Sundance Film Festival and it finally opened at my local art house theater here in Cincinnati. The Friday early evening screening where I saw this at was attended okay but not great (about 10 people). I can't see playing in theaters very long. For that the movie is too downbeat. But hopefully this can find the wider audience it deserves when it becomes available on other platforms. If you have an interest in Alzheimer's, or simply want to see a good drama, I encourage you to check it out, be it in the theater (if you still can), on VOD, or on DVD/Blu-ray, and draw your own conclusion.

This film tells the story of a family struggling to cope with the impact of dementia.

The poster makes me think it's a romantic comedy, but it is almost the polar opposite of that. It is quite a sad story because it tells a heart wrenching story. The portrayal of dementia is brutally realistic. It is sad to watch, and it will touch many viewers for sure.

Having lived this life with my Mother, it hits close to home. My Mother was diagnosed with dementia back in 2008. This movie brings it all back. My Father was relatively healthy up till the end in 2010. My Mother on the other hand became lost in her own thoughts. Not knowing us kids and I would love to think she still recognized my Father. My Mother passed in November of 2010 and my Father in June of 2010. I remember my Dad saying that once my Mom went into the dementia/alzheimer care ward, he felt like it was as lonely as when he was in the Navy back during WWII. He never recovered and died broken hearted. This movie hits home. You can try to hold out. You can try to care for your loved one but, once the veil cover the mind, it's just sad beyond words. I talked more at my Mothers funeral than I could while she was alive. The disease just drains the individual and caretakers and devastates the loving people around them. Very sad movie. Having lived this it does strike a nerve and a lot more. I think the only take away is this, love the people around you and don't let go no matter how hard it gets.

What I had (ha-ha), was some time to kill before going to a screening of Wildlife yesterday so I decided to squeeze this film in before the showing. Saw the trailer for this and it looked pretty standard but I'm always game for films that depict mental health and the impact it has on others. The film also boasts a really wonderful cast and I had to think that the film would at the very least halfway decent. Its more than decent, I actually had a good time with this. It mixes a bevy of emotions but hits exactly the right notes when it needs to.

The film is about two children who come together with their mom and dad around the holidays. Their mom is suffering from Alzheimer's disease and its tough for her to remember her own children and her husband. The family have a lot of issues to resolve as they clash heads on what to do with their mother and their unspoken issues with their hard headed father. The film stars Hilary Swank, Robert Forster, Taissa Farmiga, Blythe Danner, and of course Michael Shannon in one of my favorite performances he's ever done.

The film is actually hilarious in many parts, especially through Michael Shannon. He plays a dead pan sarcastic brother/uncle and his comments made my day. There's just a good deal of humor involving the characters despite the film being emotionally heavy as it deals with a disease that impacts a family so greatly. As expected, the talented cast is perfect in this film. Forster and Swank in particular really showcase their talents. Even Blythe Danner playing the mom; she's always so happy and cheery despite the fact that she can hardly remember anything.

I think I'm most impressed by Elizabeth Chomko's script. It balances everything well. The script is simple but has a lot of heart and dimension to it. This isn't a film that's going to get a lot of buzz as it came out very limited, but I think its a very enjoyable effort. If you're a lover of film and have some time to kill, go for it. Its not an essential watch but go see the character and family dynamics on display here.

7.5/10