Sharknado 5: Global Swarming

Sharknado's have ruined America but now they are threatening to take out Europe, starting in London where coincidentally Fin and April are currently visiting.

More of the same at the last film(s) but a lot more silly, more bad acting, more bad dialogue, more of a stupid story, more tongue in cheek humour, more ridiculous cameo appearances, more more more of exactly the same to the point that it's getting a bit dull for me. The scariest thing about this film was the plastic surgery on show, it was like a Freak show of warnings about what plastic surgery can do to a person - some of the crap CGI sharks looked more attractive than the cast. The best in this series was the first film, since then it's gone downhill to the point that I'd suggest this is the weakest in the series - despite being the most up to date and sparkly. I can only give this film a 5 out of 10 because it's all been done before and brings nothing new to the table.

None offensive, borderline entertainment, requires no brain, pretty pictures.

This cheesy and deliberately stupid franchise puts a smile on my face, so right there that means a 5-star baseline. Sure, Tara Reid (she of the famous nip slip) is terrible here; she looks bad (awful hair and costumes) and her "acting" doesn't help. It's Ian Zierling that holds things together; he plays his part straight and that's key.

Cassandra Scerbo is always fun to watch (and easy on the eyes); at least she got to wear some decent outfits. There are many cameos as one would expect; they fit with the parody (and self-parody) flavor.

The films are getting increasingly ridiculous, but realistically, what choice do they have? OF COURSE the novelty is wearing off!

Regarding the detractors; no one forced them to watch. The folks who like these films might just be sick of pretentious films (and actors).

The Sharknado films gleefully reference and/or steal from other films, but at least they do it openly. So there.

I'm giving this film a one-star penalty for being non-memorable. It made me smile, but just a few hours later, I don't recall why (in any detail). That's a problem. So that's only four (4) stars total.

DRIFTING OFF-TOPIC (for most, not all)

{Welcome to my Under the Silver Lake (UTSL) distributed essay. This is Part 3. Part 2 was attached to my (4-star) review of The Phantom.}

Under the Silver Lake (2018) is a strange film with an unsolved (audience) puzzle that references dozens of other films, often in very subtle ways. Sharknado V has many tie-ins.

One blatant reference is the Egyptian-style eye above the UTSL bunker-tomb -- it's right out of Sharknado 5. You can see the shark-gills in UTSL, but they're slightly smudged so you won't notice unless you look. The eye itself is a mirror image but otherwise identical.

Another blatant reference is Sam's pool, which is shaped like a shark's dorsal fin (from the camera angle used). Also, Comic-Man has a set of shark jawbones.

In UTSL, the afterlife cultists spend 6 months underground. Well, Ian Ziering, the star of the Sharknado movies, was in Six Months Later (2005, short).

For sake of brevity, I'll just tell you that this seems to lead to John Heard (George the barstool guy in Sharknado). His relevance is arguably supported by his role in The Nurse (2014); this could explain why Riki Lindhome wore a nurse's outfit in one scene.

In any case, John Heard was in O (2001). Take a look at the movie poster -- see the guy holding up the giant yellow letter "O"? This is referenced by the UTSL scene where the girls in the white VW rabbit get out to attend a rooftop pool party. One of them briefly holds a yellow doughnut-shaped pool float over her head. There's another pointer to this moment -- see my (9-star) review of LOTR -- The Two Towers (rw9878533).

This movie continues further into be so horrible, ridiculous, and stupid that is entertaining, enjoyable, creative, and glorious. Not the best, but great. Sharknado was originally a cheesy shark movie with a tornado, but this franchise has gone berserk. All hell breaks lose in this movie, but I love how this ends and cant wait for Sharknado 6, this movie honestly seems like a set up for sharknado the final chapter or something. This movie was hilarious and great with all it's bad movie elements, but it is obvious they acknowledge that and go for it. I still like the story somewhat and the characters even though it is mostly ridiculous.

It's kinda difficult to write a review about the fifth movie in a franchise called Sharknado. The formula is almost exactly the same as the first movie, (and the second, and the third, and the fourth movie too). There is some progression to the "story" but it's just a same formula of more over the top than the last. What keeps me watching? I wanna see how it all ends. And the puns. And Dolph. And Nova, (she looks so fine with dark hair).

Fin does a good job acting. Nova is actually a pretty good actress as well. I wish she wouldve taken over as Fin's wife. Then theres Tara Reid. Aside from the fact she looks like she's pushing 60, she can't act. Her "screaming" is just a lower volume monotone "ahhh" and she does it over and over here. And it seems like every sharknado sequel that comes out she gets these absurd transformations and enhancements. It's almost like the writers don't want her in the films anymore, so they wrote up something ludacris in hopes she wouldn't come back. But then Tara was like, "yeah sure looks good for a paycheck."

Then there's all the celebrity cameos, some are ok but most are just eye rolling and tired. We got popular newscasters reporting on the sharknado yet again. Same old same old. Over and over.

I made it this far through, so I want to see how it all ends in the final movie, (hint- it looks like it goes into Back to the Future territory). But know what you're getting into. I'm too far in. Send help.

Sharknado 5 is by far the wackiest, craziest and most over the top movie in the franchise. But here is the problem, that isn't a good thing.

The action sequences are still dumb and look awful, the wall to wall "Jokes" simply aren't funny and the movie has absolutely no redeeming features.

Movie references, various celebrity cameos and Tara Reid grunting like a pig in heat in every other scene.

I do hope, I do pray (And I don't even believe in that nonsense) that this is the end but considering the cliffhanger ending I fear we'll see more shortly.

The Good:

Chris Kattan as the British Primeminister is still better than Theresa May

The Bad:

Sam Fox, really!?

Tara Reid

Still a Sharknado film!