En frygtelig kvinde

After watching Amanda Collin in Raised By Wolves, I wanted to see some of her other work. I saw this was available for free on Amazon Prime and the trailer looked good, so I was happy to check this out.

Based on the title, and sinister cover photo, I expected Marie (played by Amanda Collin) to be some kind of devious sadist who enjoyed webbing a weave of evil. But that's not what this film is. And to be honest, I'm not even sure if I would call her "horrible." Perhaps that's because so many of her manipulative behaviors are commonplace and somehow not condemned enough in modern culture.

At the crux of this film lies an all too common relationship with a heavily unbalanced power and personality dynamic. Aggressive women like Marie are toxic, manipulative, and abusive for men like Rasmus. Men like Rasmus would be better with a woman with a different kind of feminine energy.

Despite almost always getting her way, Rasmus doesn't give Marie what she wants, which is a confident man who shares his life with her. She doesn't want to be with a man whose only life is her. With each concession and roll over that Rasmus makes, the less respect she has for him.

This starts to come to a head on their museum date, where Marie articulates the problem in the relationship. Tired of Rasmus lacking a backbone, and unwillingness to confront it, she does it for him.

"Are you afraid of me? It just seems like you're afraid. You walk on eggshells around me. I can't stand it. I don't know what I've done to you. That's why I am asking you. You tip toe around me, and you act like a little puppy. Why do you have to do that? Why can't you just be yourself?"

Both men and women have been in relationships with this unequally yoked dynamic, and this familiarity should cause some introspection. Perhaps we can see how we have been horrible to others or accepted horrible behaviors from others out of fear of losing a relationship. I enjoy films like this because it holds a mirror to us, and for those looking to grow, it challenges us to do better.

"A Horrible Woman" directed by Christian Tafdrup is an utterly realistic depiction of abusive relationship tendencies, seen through the perspective of protagonist Rasmus.

Both leads deliver convincing performances of these aspects of human behavior, and the abuser's gender is not solely important in my view. Much more so are the psychologically regressive and detrimental forms of behavior that are presented, and which both the film's characters and we as viewers are forced to reflect upon.

I think this is an intelligent drama shedding light on some of the unhealthy habits and patterns that many of us have come across in life, and without relying on cliches, the film concludes open-endedly.

I've been there and done that. I'm just very VERY happy we never moved together and sold my apartment or had a baby. Phew!

People are calling Rasmus weak or "wet" but in reality it is not that simple to be rational I'm afraid. You're in a kind of bubble. And I'm NOT weak or stupid etc.

People told me to leave her many times. Friends and family both. But I loved her and we did have some nice moments. Though short lives.

One day she drove me totally nuts and I screamed so much I couldn't speak for days after. It almost became violent. In that moment I realized it was over for me. Some people don't realize it until it's too late.

So guys, beware of the signs. If she makes you become a worse version of yourself. If you are more often unhappy than happy with her. If you argue more than laughing. Leave!

This move made me feel even better about my decision to leave my ex.

Well - according to the Bibel they are! Eve let herself seduce by the snake in eden and ate the forbidden fruit - yet Adam did nothing to stop neither her nor himself of doing so! So who is in fact the evil of the two?

This is exactly the dilemma in this new brilliant danish movie. A young man falls in love with a young attractive woman and soon find - not only his appartment - but also himself changed completely upside down. Soon not only all of his stuff, hobbies and friends are secondery in the will of his newfound love. The very man he once was seems to be too.

Are women simply manipulating and evil or are men simply to weak to finally say: enough is enough?

Well - I will let you (and your partner) be the judge of that. Not matter what your conclusion will be. This movie is a must see!

First, you have to thank the creators of the film for their courage in times when it is a politically correct opinion that women are the "better" people to make such a movie. There are very few countries in the world where freedom of thought and speech is as normal as in Denmark.

This film is a very deep analysis of female subtle exercise of power. A film to which you can attach two more parts. I hope that this film is not only in Denmark in the cinema.

It is not understandable when the critic simply asks himself if the director hates women. Even if it were so, what should be inferred from it? Is this supposed woman-hater put on the politically correct wall? There are currently hundreds of correct films about strong women fighting bad guys. Are these all male haters? It does not matter if anyone hates women or not. It's about a perfect analysis of female behavior, presented here in a comedy with much bitter truth. Not more!

At the post-screening of the film in Lübeck (nordic film week), the women who spoke out praised the film very much. A psychiatric doctor (a woman...) has even confirmed that control delusion and subtle exercise of power is a typical diagnosis among women. The director's brother was very surprised ...

What should love be? Is love respect or domination? A great cinematic analysis with bitter humor from a male perspective was created here.

I wish all people to open their eyes and creatively allow a new sovereign and free discussion on the gender war. This film is a milestone on this meaning.