Bogus/The Big Squeeze/Bulletproof/The Trigger Effect/The Island of Dr. Moreau

Gene Siskel - Host: [reviewing "Bogus"] Let me go back to explaining how significant I think the flaw is in the premise of this movie. I can't believe that Whoopi Goldberg would be anything less than sweet to this boy, so the first half hour is just absurd. Then, making the "Bogus" character a big Frenchman seems totally out of left field. Maybe it's good for the foreign box office, I don't know. Goldberg's turnabout at the end of the picture is really the only decent scene in the film, which is hardly enough for me to recommend, I'm afraid, the aptly-named "Bogus".

Roger Ebert - Host: Well Gene, I thought it was a light-hearted, charming fantasy, and I enjoyed it. But I want to get to this premise that you have SO much trouble with. First of all, it's not the first half hour of the movie, it's one speech that lasts altogether, including its permutations, five minutes.

Gene Siskel - Host: Oh, it's more than that.

Roger Ebert - Host: But apart from that, Gene... if you were a single person, running a business, and you were forty years old, and you got a call that you now were going to take care of a child that you never met, would you instantly, in that same telephone conversation, say, "Oh, wonderful", or would you have any questions?

Gene Siskel - Host: Or, would...

Roger Ebert - Host: I think a lot of people can respond in that way, if you sudd- I mean, how, how, how easily do you find out that you're now gonna be a mother?

Gene Siskel - Host: Well, let me explain to you, Roger, that you wouldn't react this way. Now you can either take- call it a fairy tale, or you can take it down to the level of reality, I don't know which game you wanna play with me. But I'll now play the game of reality. And that is, if it's in reality, and you're an orphan, your heart goes out to the orphan. And if you're Whoopi Goldberg- forget theory, it's WHOOPI GOLDBERG, one of the SWEETEST...

Roger Ebert - Host: This isn't the movie that was made!

Gene Siskel - Host: It's Whoopi Goldberg! Wait a minute!

Roger Ebert - Host: That's not the movie that was made!

Gene Siskel - Host: And that's why it's BADLY made.

Roger Ebert - Host: I think it'd be better if you reviewed the movies that are made, rather than your "re-writes".

Gene Siskel - Host: Roger, I am OBVIOUSLY reviewing the movie that was made, and I'm saying it wasn't made well.

Roger Ebert - Host: ...Next movie. Our next movie is "The Big Squeeze", a movie that could've been called "Bogus", in my opinion.