Taekwondo

Boy, talk about a slow burn! This is a gorgeous to look at film about a group of good looking straight (?) young men who get together for a weekend and spend much of it naked and stoned discussing their previous or next sexual conquests. Thereafter, it isn't really about anything - or did I miss something? We get a sense from early on that Gabriel Epstein "Germán" has the hots for his taekwondo buddy Lucas Papa ("Fer") but the meandering way in which this story progresses makes for a terribly ponderous route to courtship. It isn't that it needs to be end to end sex, it's that it ought to be end to end something! Basically, nothing happens....

In 2014 I thought and wrote of Berger's Hawaii... Berger's use of eroticism is a bit obvious in this. Perhaps because I've seen his moves before, they stand out as a bit contrived.

It seems for Taekwondo the only effort to stretch and evolve has been to up the ante of sexual tension with more men and more (much more) nudity. Again Berger shows us that eroticism is introduced by so much more than sex. Its still an animal notion of combined human attraction, contact and bond. The movie clings to his oft used narrative "will they or wont they" but here it felt reduced to teen angst. I recognized some effort to add questions of machismo, sexuality (as usual) and questions of the bonds of friendship. If you've seen Berger's wonderful "Plan B" or "Sexual Tension" "Absent" or "Hawaii" you've see most of the tricks and many of the shots also used in this movie as well as pacing, shot composition, and narrative exploration before, but in a better movie than this one.

From the first scene I knew I would enjoy this movie. I loved Call Me By Your Name for how intimate and real the setting felt, which is certainly present in Taekwondo too. The long shots of different details of the house that the movie spends all its time in; the zoom ins on the little, habitual actions the characters take; the non-existent censorship that doesn't necessarily make certain scenes or shots crude, they are purely shown for what they are - they made it feel like I was there. The lack of structure in the storyline and the mundaneness of the characters' conversations and activities added to that feeling too.

However, it felt like this aspect of Taekwondo took over the majority of the movie, so much so that the actual genre that it's supposed to be was barely present. While Taekwondo is supposed to be a gay romance, there is no actual romance until the last minutes or so. What we do get feels like a blink in comparison to the entirety of the movie. I understand that the non-sexual intimacy between Fernando and Germán, the two main love interests, that we see right from the beginning is part of their romance, but it's just too little. Especially considering the fact that many people would come into this movie with the expectation of a gay love story.

I think the movie as it was was lovely and atmospheric, and I don't necessarily think there needed to be more romance, although it would have been nice. But perhaps the producers could have altered how Taekwondo was marketed, so that it didn't appear as a romance movie as much. That said I don't know the details of how marketing went about for Taekwondo because I found out about this movie on someone's watch list.

All in all though, if you like watching men without the toxic masculinity present and in all their glory, and if you simply want a movie to escape into, I'd recommend this. I would suggest to look for other movies however if you're particularly looking for gay romance.

It was the film "The Blonde One" that led me to "Taekwondo." I was so taken by that film by Marco Berger, that I was eager to see another. Maybe I should have quite while I was ahead.

The Blonde One is a beautifully crafted film, with a strong plot, and superb acting - coupled with excellent direction and camera work.

Taekwondo didn't live up to my expectations at all. The movie is an hour and 48 minutes - but it easily felt like 3 hours. While there is certainly the eye-candy aspect to this film, with some great shots of some great looking guys, the movie seems s-l-o-w and nearly plotless.

Taekwondo is more like looking in on an adolescent vacation. Guys being guys without parental oversight.

There is some sexual ambiguity and tension between what I would call the two main characters - the owner of the house and his friend from Taekwondo. One might (or at least I did) expect that sooner or later SOMEthing will happen between them. But nothing does. Some interested glances here and there. Some almost-touching closeness. But it's always diffused, interrupted by someone walking in, or by a game that suddenly breaks out among the guys.

We watch the guys shower, swim, play tennis or kick a soccer ball around the tennis court. And the guys seem to sleep a lot. Maybe even they are bored by the lack of plot. They play hide-and-seek. And talk about their sexual conquests with the girls, or ruminate over fidelity, still unsure what their relationships with girls are supposed to look like. And now and again they conjecture on whether this or that one is gay.

The director keeps the film somewhat interesting with nice camera perspectives that often focus on a body part - like a crotch or butt. There are glimpses of bare butts and sometimes guys bare it all. But there's not enough story line to string it together, and the movie is ultimately pretty boring.

Where do I even start with this...

The movie is the worst type of movie there is; a film made to look like it had no script, just a bunch of half naked or fully naked guys shooting the breeze for almost 2 hours. There is no real story, aside from the very glossed over part of the two leads being in the same Taekwondo class, but the rest of the movie is as follows;

-Naked dudes swimming -Half naked dudes sleeping -Half naked dudes smoking -Half-naked dudes discussing women -Naked dudes walking around the house -Semi-clothed dudes talking at a dinner table -Dudes put some clothes on when 2 girls arrive

Throughout the whole film, we have one of the main characters, who is gay, and wants to know if his Taekwondo partner (who invented him to this boys outing) is also gay. It takes 1:40 minutes for them to finally give in to the entire purpose of this film, and I for the life of me just don't understand who would find this entertaining. My partner had a theory, though; the director used this film as a reason to hire a bunch of straight actors he just wanted to personally see naked. The same way Hollywood directors add nude scenes with women in their movies, as an excuse to see the people they're attracted to in the buff. Wouldn't hiring an escort be much less work and offer you more bang for oyu buck? I really just don't understand these types of movies.

This really isn't a gay film, especially if you discount the literal last 2 minutes of it. It's a movie about a group of men, which are all straight, doing straight dude things. Nothing about this movie is even remotely gay because none of the characters are gay, and this is really just the type of movie in the genre I can't stand. I don't watch gay films to see a bunch of straight men talking about women as if they've never seen one before in their lives. I have the gym and real life for that nonsense. I watch these movies two see two guys fall in love, and when you can't even be bothered to show me that much, than what did you really accomplish?

A disappointment of a film that missed the mark of what it means to be gay cinema in almost every regard.