#Roxy

Imagine every "movie made for teens by 45 year old white guys who don't understand teens" cliche you can think of: internet hackers. Pop punk theme music. Half-assed "high school sucks/just be yourself" messaging. And of course, the goddamn hashtags. Do baby boomers think everyone under the age of 21 is so obsessed with social media that hashtags are just "how the kids talk nowadays?"

Anyway, this movie is all of that, mixed in with low rent acting, goofy and at times pretentious writing, an arrogant, shallow protagonist you're actively hoping gets killed off by the end of the movie, and flat cinematography. All the kid actors are terrible. Danny Trejo is slumming it as usual. I want to know who in the boardroom came up with the idea of a teen-centric movie based on a kind-of-above-average rom-com from the 70s based on a classical French play everyone pretended to know about in the first place. I'm not mad, I just wanna talk.

In any event, if you're looking for a so bad it's good movie, here's you're next fix. If you're a lonely teenage boy looking for something to project onto and stroke your Randian power fantasy about how the whole world isn't smart enough for you and how that girl from your Mod Civ B class would totally swoon over you if only she knew the vast scope of your expansive intellect, this is right up your alley. Hopefully it'll keep you occupied long enough to keep you from shooting up your school or something. If you're not either of these people, I can't say you'll be getting a whole lot out of watching this.

This movie based on an old time classic was really updated with a diverse cast of great actors. Well done!

There is almost nothing that makes this film stand out, that makes it one to recommend, that distinguishes it from dozens of other movies set in high school. It even ticks all the boxes, captures all the tropes, includes all the characters you expect to see and has them act just as you'd expect. Damningly it's predictable.

The acting doesn't astound, the soundtrack forgettable, the conversations rarely quotable, the set design mundane.

So go in with low expectations and.. let yourself be charmed. Enjoy a simple film, put together well, featuring likeable people. There are fun elements, the plot isn't entirely linear and there's certainly romance.

For all that it fails to wow the audience, this film never lets them down. Solid entertainment and worth your time.

So. If you view every film available on Sky Movies in alphabetical order, at the top you get "#Roxy". It was for no other reason that this that I spent an evening in the company of this pretty awful Canadian teen adaptation of Cyrano de Bergerac.

Jake Short plays Cyrus, wise ass high schooler who has, for years been in unrequited love with Roxy (Sarah Fisher). When she tells him of her (frankly inexplicable) attraction to Christian (Bamboo Stewart) and Christian separately does the same, Cyrus sees and opportunity to say all the things to Roxy that he wants to, vicariously through the proxy of Christian

Let's get a few positives out of the way first, I actually ended up quite liking the principle cast, towards the end of the film. Ironically, Cyrano De Bergerac actually feels more timely again now, that it has in the last few decades as love letters fell away but now instant messaging and texting is both intimate but potentially anonymous.

But the film is very cheesy. Despite being made in 2018, some of the high school movie clichés are still prevalent. Jocks, Nerds, Goths.... Same as it ever was, as if the movie was made in the 1980's.. And the use of actors who have long since left high school is still happening, the principle bully in the film, I've just looked it up and he's 29 but if you told me he was 40, I'd have believed it. The prosthetic nose on Cyrus was not good, in fact I'm not sure why they stuck with it, I understand it's part of the original story but surely just a lack of confidence would be enough to explain why he refuses to tell Roxy how he feels.

I don't want to eviscerate it too much, but it's a story that you've seen before and more convincingly.

Cryano Debergerac is one of my all time favorite plays. I first saw a revival version off-Broadway in NYC and I loved it. I immediately checked out the Jose Ferrer version and it was good, but not AS good. The version that I saw at the Stratford festival in Canada a few years back was great and I even enjoyed the Steve Martin remake.

This was a laudable attempt and is remarkably free of cringe-worthy moments while updating this perennial favorite.

The updating of letter to texting worked. The casting of eminently huggable BooBoo Stewart in the Christian role was a superb choice. Even the aside making best pal Raganeau, Cyrus's cousin when the original based much of the original problem on Roxanne being Cyrano's cousin was a nice touch.

The poetic duel, the wooing Roxy by proxy aspects were all enjoyable. Overall this was a fun movie for those of us that knew the story. I'm not sure why it wasn't rated higher than it is.

Still it was fun and I'd watch it again if nothing better were on offer.