All the Creatures Were Stirring

Truly had to suffer through this film. Picked it up at a redbox hoping for a good new holiday film with a horror twist. Instead we got an eighty minute waste of time. The actors of the subplot had less than zero chemistry. The majority of the anthology style short stories were tired, forced and hard to watch, gaining an easy eye-roll with every turn. Constance Wu's performance in the final short story was arguably the only shining light. She and the general idea for this movie are the only reasons this is getting more than one star. From the writing to the directing, the cinematography to the majority of the acting, this is a downright dreadful movie. Please save yourself the time.

Both as an anthology and as a Christmas horror movie, "All the Creatures Were Stirring" is far from perfect. In fact, it's a lackluster and wildly uneven movie altogether. On the other hand, though, I respect and even admire low-budget horror productions that dare to be different and original, and that's the least you can say about this omnibus. All the individual short segments, and the wraparound story, are unconventional and unique, and that's at least worth half of the optimistic score of 5/10 I gave!

On Christmas Eve, two people with nowhere else to go and absolutely nothing better to do, spend their first Tinder date together at a raunchy theater where three "actors" enact a series of holiday-themed stories with a bare minimum of decors and means. The stories turn into short films, and they are remarkable to say the least. There's a tale about an office Secret Santa party turning into a massacre, one about a traditional Yule demon, a modern version of Ebeneezer Scrooge on Christmas Eve, reindeers bent on bloody vengeance, and a totally bonkers fable about holiday-loving aliens. The wraparound story about the first date then eventually turns into the last story.

A few of the separate stories are ingenious and compelling ("Dash Away All", " In a Twinkling") and others are more derivative ("Arose such a Clatter"), but ALL of them have in common that they are creative, but sadly also too underdeveloped and abruptly ending with many questions left unanswered. There's some gore, but not enough. There's occasionally tension and atmosphere, but not enough. There are flashes of sardonic black humor, but ... well, you know the rest of that sentence.

In the end, I can't really recommend "All the Creatures Were Stirring" wholeheartedly, but surprisingly enough I enjoyed it. And so did my mate with whom I watched it. Who knows, maybe it's because I was rejoiced by the spirit of Christmas, or maybe it's because the other two holiday-themed horror movies we watched were total rubbish. Either way, in case you love Christmas horror but you have already seen all the obvious classics ("Black Christmas", "Silent Night Deadly Night", "Krampus",...) this one may be worth a peek.

Every holiday season, I like to offset my cookie cutter Hallmark/Lifetime movies with a couple Holiday Horror B movies. Balances it out or something. I've seen some real clunkers and some real gems but Christmas horror movies are especially difficult to get right. This movie however was decent for what it was. Being an anthology film, some segments were of course better than others and the film's limited budget shows but if you enjoy bad movies you'll have a decent enough time here. I found myself wishing that they went a step further to make it pure camp but I wasn't disappointed overall. Anyway grab a beer and have a watch. It definitely isn't the worst of the holiday horrors that's for sure. *No real gore and no nudity.

Horror anthologies are always fun, more stories/themes/characters/styles etc. means there's more to find - to find something for everyone. I love the format, a compilation of short films, often wrapped in what I call the framing segment. "All the Creatures Were Stirring" is surely an entertaining anthology, but also frustrating - to feel the potential and see it executed so poorly. It also makes the mistake of slowly but steadily going downhill only to never get back up.

"All the Creatures Were Stirring" provides six stories (included the wrap-around segment) set during Christmas time, each one has its own plot and characters. Sadly, it's a very inconsistent anthology (like the most of them). Quite a lot of indie talent is involved, majority of the plotlines are (at least mildly) intriguing albeit not exactly original, some have a bit of that Twilight Zone vibe, but, however, the execution gets worse by each segment. The framing segment, about a guy and a gal going on an awkward date to the theatre on christmas eve, started off decently & ended just simply underwhelmingly - the 70 minute filler before that didn't help. Our awkward couple experience five stories, out of which the first two were the best. Decent acting, intriguing little stories, okay-ish cinematography & b-grade special fx. So far so good. The each next is worse than the last. While the interesting themes stay, the execution, excluding maybe acting, is deteriorating, even the technical aspects grow cheaper. As a consequence, pacing suffers greatly and boredom ensues. That's about it. As the credits start rolling, it becomes clear that the creatures stirring will soon be forgotten.

There's better anthologies out there, even the christmas kind, for example, "A Christmas Horror Story" (2015). I most certainly had low expectations, but out of "All the Creatures Were Stirring" 80 minute runtime only about 30 were enjoyable & with that I mean - about average. Nevertheless, it's not a regrettable holiday filler for horror fans. Recommend to everyone who loves his christmas creepy and bloody & is a forgiving movie watcher. My rating: 4/10.

Not a horrible anthology but some of the stories are a lot better then others.