The Curse of Robert the Doll

A young woman takes a job on the night shift in a small curio museum. When her coworkers' bodies begin piling up, the prime suspect is one of the displays, a hideous doll which is purported to be possessed.

Very loosely based on a real story (relocated from early 20th century Florida to contemporary Britain), the original "Robert" was a tedious movie, paced at the speed of evolution, with characters who behaved idiotically and cheaper effects than the worst of the Charles Band killer-doll flicks. This time around, the pace is a little better (though it still takes far too long to get going), the characters are slightly more likable (a returning cast member steps up their game and the rest of the performances are decent) and the effects are... well, about the same. Frankly, it's a case of been there, done that, seen it - and much better. But sadly, I've also seen much worse. The biggest problem with these films is that suspense isn't handled well, it's draaaaagged out to the point of boredom and the payoff generally sucks.

It's sort of a shame that this trilogy (a third film is slated to be released next year) has been so painfully mediocre, cuz it's kind of disrespectful to the real Robert, who deserves a more faithful telling of his bizarre tale. Still, this sequel's a few rungs above the original, so perhaps the third film might actually be good.

Robert The Doll (2015) was a weak messy British horror so I was hugely surprised to see it spawn a sequel. Wait did I say sequel? I meant sequels, because at time of writing there are no less than four Robert movies.

Now for those of you unfamiliar Robert is based upon a real doll, a doll that inspired the existence of Childs Plays own Chucky. But make no mistake these movies are not on the same level, not even remotely.

What I find odd is that they don't use the real Roberts appearance because that is considerably scarier. Seriously, it's like a cabbage patch doll imitating leather face!

Well Robert The Doll is fresh off his last killing spree and is now an exhibit in a museum. It's not l.ong until he returns to his old ways and it comes down to the buildings security guards and newly recruited cleaner to save the day.

To it's credit it does remain consistent and even includes a cast member from the original. Sadly this doesn't make up for everything else being beyond awful.

The Good:

Meh

The Bad:

Pretty much everything

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

I still struggle to find a doll even remotely feasible

I need alcohol if I'm going to weather the next two films

Literally nothing to get you invested in the movie. The story is aimless and boring, the characters acting is stiff and dull. Like they were filming a school project.

The so called "cursed" doll looks like a bad paper craft and looks like someone awkwardly "playing dolls" with a child in every scene.

Would also like to point out that for 2016 the SFX are.. abysmal. Like I'm pretty sure an actual child could make better looking blood/guts with tissue paper and red paint.

I could complain for hours but not even worth it.

Right, let's be honest, it's no Annabelle, but in this second outing, Robert is now housed in a museum, and of course causes mayhem when the new cleaner arrives.

I'm not sure why expectations from some were seemingly quite high, surely they must have seen the first?

It's low budget, it's silly, but it's not without some level of charm, I liked the accompanying music, it was definitely a little creepy, and atmospheric.

The acting, was decent I thought, some of it was good, some was average.

Robert, if only he could have been a little more animated, he was perhaps a little static, his footsteps were rather cute I thought.

I loved the atmosphere of the opening and closing scenes, and that security guard was very cute.

It wasn't bad, 5/10.

The story is played out some years after the first movie. This time with Emily Barker. A student who takes a night job at a museum to pay of loans. Unfortanly for her this is the new home for Robert the doll. After a while working as a cleaner, Emily starts getting a feeling something's wrong in the museum. she is not wrong.

I love horror movies and i was so scared for dolls after seeing Chucky many years ago. Unfortanly this movie is nothing like Chucky or the newer Annabell. The first movie was badly written. Slow going Forward. The characters never felt realistic when they talked to each other and when the doll was on screen it was so bad it made you laugh. This movie is not better. The characters are still bad. The doll still just look so foolish and the story is so slow. Nothing happens the first 25 minutes.

If you as me love horror movies with killing dolls. Watch Chucky or The boy instead. Light years better than this school project.