Bikini Mayhem

I am in complete disbelief. For a low-budget film, it surprised me with its quality. It takes a real passion to release something this artistic to the public. There is definitely room for improvement, particularly with the plotline and editing. I'll keep an eye on this director and I suggest you do the same.

Just like there's supposed to be a lowest level in hell, this would qualify for the lowest level of awful.The acting was terrible, I could have shot better quality film on my iPhone, and the music was simply dreadful. I'm not going to bother with the plot, the so-called college students who wanted to be models looked like 40 year old housewives that left you begging for them to put their clothes back on. Often times a movie is so bad that someone will advise you to not waste time watching it, well I'm advising the opposite. This is so bad that much like a train wreck, I would like others to watch this in its entirety and suffer like I did...

Despite its claims, this isn't a movie. This is someone pointing a phone at some friends and pretending it's a movie. Then he, apparently, told some of his friends mums that they could be in the 'movie' if they took their clothes off.

The editing is perplexing with one scene having the same few seconds just repeated five or six times. Then the beach 'photo shoot' is three minutes of wave footage with what is apparently a camera shutter noise happening off screen.

There's an 'Industry Party' (modelling industry?) which is half a dozen drunks standing around a pool in a very cheap looking back yard.

There are no 'actors' in this, just people Eric Williford ("Writer" and "Director") happens to know. There's no proper sound recording, no editing, no lighting, cinematography or any other characteristic of an actual 'movie.'

I will say the bass line at the start wasn't too bad and Cori Collins (as main character Ivy Winters) isn't awful looking.

You'll be happier with yourself if you spend your time sticking bamboo under your fingernails rather than watching this festering pool of crap.

No matter how low you set your expectations, this will still be worse than that. I wasn't expecting Citizen Kane - this looked like something mindless yet fun, something to pass the time. It was certainly mindless, but that's all. There is absolutely nothing positive to say about the film.

Avoid.

It should come as no surprise that I hadn't ever heard about this 2015 horror movie titled "Bikini Mayhem", from writer and director Eric Williford, prior to stumbling upon it by random chance here in 2023. And with it being a movie that I had never seen or heard about, and with it being a horror movie with a campy title, of course I opted to sit down and give the movie a fair chance.

However, I have to admit that my expectations to the movie were slim to none, given the movie's title and the fact that there were no one the least bit famous mentioned on the movie's cover.

And the movie starts out with a nearly six minute long cringeworthy photo session of topless ladies, so that pretty much set the standards of what you were in for here. Now, of course that is a great thing if you are into that sort of entertainment in movies. I must admit that I am looking for something a bit more meaningful when I watch movies, so I didn't enjoy that intro in the movie.

With an entire cast ensemble of unfamiliar actresses and actors, it sounded up my alley, as I enjoy watching movies that stars unfamiliar talents. However, the acting performances in "Bikini Mayhem" were somewhat wooden and rigid at best, so yeah, it wasn't all that great.

There is a lot, and I do mean a lot, of pointless necessary filling footage throughout the course of the 78 minutes that the movie ran for. And taking away so much from the actual storytelling, by showing things not important to the storyline, made for a boring and pointless viewing experience.

"Bikini Mayhem" is an amateurish movie project, no doubt about it, probably filmed with a home digital video camera, because there was no proper editing, no proper production, no proper lighting, etc. And the best thing about this ordeal from writer and director Eric Williford, was actually the movie's cover.

My rating of "Bikini Mayhem" lands on a generous one out of ten stars.