Un poliziotto all'asilo

"They're children. I can handle this." Agents Reed (Lundgren) and Sanders (Bellamy) are trying to find a stolen list of names. When the owner winds up dead they only have one lead, he was a teacher. With no other option Agent Reed goes under cover as a teacher in the school in hopes to find the list before more people wind up dead. The original is a borderline classic and is still funny and enjoyable to watch today. It was strange at first to see Schwarzenegger in a comedic role but his timing was great and it really worked. That's one thing this was lacking. This is really Lundgren's first real acting role, and he comes off as stiff and forced. The comic relief is left to Bill Bellamy and the supporting cast. The movie is watchable and entertaining enough but does nothing to add to the original and is a straight to video movie that should have been second guessed. Overall, watchable and entertaining but is nowhere close to being as good as the original. Another sequel that leaves you asking why this was made. I give it a C.

The first Kindergarten Cop film was what we would call today a classic. It had a great story line, which plot was certainly a true reflection on what the characters showed would be what some of us would experience in real life. It was funny and had the appropriate amount of drama and serious scenes that put you on the edge of your seat. Everyone in this film (Schwarzenegger, Penelope Ann Miller, Richard Tyson, Pamela Reed, Linda Hunt, Carroll Baker) did a phenomenal job, as well as the kids!

This sequel, unfortunately, is a joke. I tried finishing it, but I just couldn't because it was too painful. It was a serious poor attempt to entertain the audience. It lacked almost everything the first film delivered. The only thing that kept this movie from being rated a 1 out of 10 was the kids; that. was. it!

Also... how does the sequel get special features (iTunes Extras) on iTunes but the original doesn't??

Should there be a time limit for releasing a sequel? The original movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger came out in 1990, that's a quarter of a century ago, and now we have a sequel that doesn't even have Arnie it. What is the bloody point?

I'm not sure who the intended audience Kindergarten Cop 2 is, certainly not fans of the original, so my guess it's for little kids who like pee jokes and line dancing. Wait, do kids like line dancing? So if you want to see Dolph Lundgren get peed on, wear a cowboy hat and make out with someone a quarter of his age then this could be the film for you. If you are looking for an actual comedy check to see if the original one is on Netflix.

Note: The film even has the cliché angry boss who yells at our hero even though that stereotype had already been lampooned in The Last Action Hero back in 1993.

STAR RATING: ***** Saturday Night **** Friday Morning *** Friday Night ** Sunday Night * Monday Morning

When a teacher is killed after stumbling upon sensitive information, FBI Agent Reed (Dolph Lundgren) is assigned to go undercover in a liberal, PC modern kindergarten, where his 'no pain no gain' philosophy makes him a far from ideal candidate for the role. Gradually, he forms a bond with the kids and pretty young teacher Olivia (Darla Taylor) and liaises with his partner Sanders (Bill Bellamy), but all the while, Zogu (Aleks Paunovic), the villainous Russian mobster behind the murder, lurks about.

It's never too late to make a sequel these days, even to a more modern audience who may not even have heard of the original. Or even if it happens to be some bizarrely low budget, straight to DVD Dolph Lundgren vehicle. This is a weird, unexplainable piece of work at best, but maybe most so for Dolph. Things were looking on the up for him recently, with the well received Skin Trade signalling a return to the sort of slam bang, unpretentious entertainment he was known for. You're left to wonder what his motives for making this were: trying to show a lighter, fuzzier side to his repertoire, even if it's all little heard of, straight to DVD fodder?

The original was one of two films Arnold Schwarzenegger made to try and show a lighter version of himself, and it's been confirmed he's appearing in a sequel himself to the other one of those films, so you're left to wonder if he thought the follow up to this had lesser box office potential. Even so, many will feel he brought something to the original role that couldn't be recreated by anyone else, and it's true Dolph doesn't feel at home as much here, lacking Arnie's madcap spirit in the first film. He's joined by Paunovic's typical Russian villain, Bellamy's stereotypical black partner and Taylor as a worryingly younger love interest.

This is just an all round beguiling project. How did it come up? Who thought it would be a good idea? What was anyone trying to achieve with it? Why did it get made? *

Kindergarten Cop 2 (2016)

** (out of 4)

Twenty-six years after the original film we're finally given a "sequel" and this time it's Dolph Lundgren playing FBI Agent Reed. He's trying to put an infamous crime boss in prison but a hacker has stolen a file that tells the location of everyone in the Witness Protection Program. It turns out that the information in located on a file at a Seattle school so the agent must go undercover to try and locate it.

KINDERGARTEN COP 2 is a film that no one really asked for. Well, they did ask for a sequel to the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie about twenty years ago but this thing here isn't that. In fact, I'm not really sure why they put a "2" at the end of the title because the original film is never mentioned and for the most part his is basically just a remake. While the film isn't horrid, the thing certainly isn't good and I'd argue that in the end it's quite pointless.

Whereas the first film was somewhat uneven in regards to its sometime dark tone and sometimes comic tone, there's no doubt about this film in regards to it being aimed for children. The violence is pretty much tamed down and the majority of the jokes are aimed at children. This is certainly a movie that parents could watch with their young kids as the filmmakers were going for that type of movie. There's nothing wrong with that but the problem is that this comedy contains very few laughs.

Another major problem is that none of the characters are all that likable. The kid's don't have any personalities and I thought all of them lacked any sort of chemistry with Lundgren. As for the action star, he gives an okay performance here but his comic timing just isn't where it's needed to be. He does have some funny stuff with Bill Bellamy but this too starts to get watered down as the picture moves along.

KINDERGARTEN COP 2 isn't horrible but there's really no point of the movie being made.