Dracula Reborn

This is easily the worst vampire film I have ever seen and I have watched some absolute stinkers. It is amateurish in every way, badly shot, lit and acted. The performances are so bad I actually thought it was a parody, apart from the fact that it wasn't even in the "so bad, it's funny" category. I bought the film and was really looking forward to watching it based on the cover blurb. I started watching it, then started watching it on fast forward waiting for something to happen, then realised it was over and that nothing had! The only time I have ever been more disappointed with a film was when I paid good money to see Jaws:The Revenge at the cinema. After watching Dracula Reborn, (an obvious attempt to cash in on Dracula Untold), the DVD was consigned to the local charity shop. Avoid this one like the plague!

Ok, trying to be objective - in all fairness it's not The Worst movie I've seen, but it's pretty bad. It is boring and unless you force yourself, you're going to have to fast forward through most of it. And if you do, you won't miss anything because it barely makes any sense, and it's super disjointed. It maybe could have been funny because it was so bad- the acting was bad, the script was bad...but it didn't seem like it was trying to be funny. It seemed like it was made by super newbies who were trying pretty hard. But it's just ridiculous.

This movie is a kill fest and if that is all you want to see well then have at it sports fans! The vampire truly loves to kill and is having fun doing it. He acts silly before the kill and ravishes his prey. This is the problem, because once you have seen the first three kills you might as well skip to the end because all the rest are the same. Not one player ever has a plan to survive or any hope to kill a vampire. It is all about just getting bit in the neck and sucked dry without ever seeing it coming or putting up any resistance. The lead female star looked like real live vampire and could stand to put one a few pounds. I don't know how she got the part unless she was the directors girl friend. The only other thing is that the vampire didn't seem to have any of the usual vulnerabilities, not even sun light and this was disappointing because the characters never seem to have a snowball in hell of not being killed.

I can only say, "take your hat off, because this got made and is playing on Amazon Prime." You've got to give it to anyone that can get their work to be seen. It was horrible, but a great lesson that says..."Don't give up..if you have money and a crew, you can get a movie made and shown." Dracula is rolling in pig soil after hearing of this mess.

I wish I could tell you ANYTHING about the context of the movie. After spending less than ten minutes "watching" this title, all I came away with is that their food catering services added glue to the "Oatmeal Only" menu, and there was no water or toothbrushes on set. And someone stole that poor girl's eyebrows. Also, there may have been marbles in the oatmeal, I am not sure either way. Or perhaps it was dubbed by the Hamburglar.

Seeing that the review was considered too short for submission, I will add additional text because I need to do my part in keeping people from renting or even accidentally watching this ....movie. I thought about adding a few lines of "Robble Robble" but am not sure how many people would actually get the Hamburglar reference, let alone know what his speech sounds like. That being said, you now have full understanding of what my viewing experience was like. Robble Robble.