Riot - In rivolta

The last few Dolph Lundgren flicks have been rough going (specifically the Serafini ones like BLOOD OF REDEMPTION), so I entered RIOT with expectations lower than usual. So it was nice to see it actually putting forth some effort. It is essentially a vanity project (lead Matthew Reese's name appears 3 times in the first 30 seconds) and you have to suffer through UFC fighter Chuck Liddell - sporting a huge HGH belly - doing one of the worst Russian accents in the history of cinema (not an easy feat!), but the filmmakers came up with a twisty plot, some cool guard costumes and did some interesting fight choreography (which was obviously influenced by JOHN WICK and THE RAID films). Not a Dolph- classic by any means, but a decent 85 minutes.

A pretty bad movie that I decided to watch because I enjoyed Dolph Lundgren in 'ONE IN THE CHAMBER (2012)' and I also enjoy prison movies so despite the low rating I thought to myself: why not?

But despite the fact that Dolph Lundgren's face covers about 80% of the poster for the first half of the movie he is so far from being the lead, heck for the first 27 minutes he doesn't even have any lines and is limited to just sweeping the floors (literally with a broom).

I expected him the Russian kingpin, but nope he plays a mysterious quiet inmate with janitorial duties.

The kingpin is played by Chuck Lidell who for the record is on the poster, and I guess that's okay cause he is the actual bad guy of the movie but the main 'hero' of the movie is not even on it, played by Matthew Reese.

So yeah anyways even if you look aside all that it's a pretty boring movie, we've seen it all before but usually a lot more exciting.

They manage to throw in a even more so boring sub-plot about a news reporter on the outside as well and one about a female prisoner in the female department of the prison which feels like it was added just because it wouldn't be a long enough movie focusing on just Reese, Lidell and (ocassionally) Lundgren in all honesty.

All in all wooden acting by pretty much everyone doesn't help... Makes 'VENDETTA (2015)' with Dean Cain and The Big Show look like a prison- movie classic in comparison.

Best part of this movie was Chuck trying to do a Russian accent...the longer he has to talk the more it goes leans towards Colombian, very funny.

You could honestly miss large chunks of the movie and still know what is going on.

Not good, but not bad either.

Chuck Liddell's accent is terrible, and completely unnecessary to the plot (there's no reason for him to be Russian for the story to work).

The producer/lead actor seems to be a good martial artist, but man, he can not act. That's probably okay, though, nobody else in this movie really can, either.

The dialog is awful, but as with many action movies, it really only exists to move the story from one action sequence to the next.

The most unforgivable thing about this action-centric B-movie is that the action is atrocious. I don't know if the choreographer is blind, or has just never seen human beings move before, but these fight scenes had me laughing.

I gave 2 stars instead of one, because the plot is one I haven't seen before. It's not THAT different from other prison movies, but the reason for the antagonist being there is a neat idea.

No no no, just NO. I can't even begin to, ok, its supposed to be a comedy I think, but its funny for reasons that were not intentional. I wasted enough time on this movie, two hours I'll never get back. This will be my shortest review ever. Hard NO.