Scared Topless

The title made a pretty false claim. Not one person in this film was topless from fear. In the end, I still have my shirt on and I'm very disappointed. However, there is a twist at the end worth sticking around for. 1 star for that and the other 2 for the soundtrack. Howard Blueberry, please name your films more aptly in the future.

I know female nudity will always attract some level of a male audience, but I had a hard time sitting thru this excuse for boobs and I'm a bit confused why it's so well reviewed.

'Scared Topless' is a drab T&A flick by well known b-movie director Jim Wynorski. Likely filmed in a span of days. Certainly no 500k budget and a long way from this genre's prime in 2015 considering the casts now typically consist of hardcore pornstars. Busty blonde Bridgette B my case in point.

None of that would matter if it's good though. Positive reviews talk of good vibes or a decent story with atmosphere and laughs. I must have missed all that completely. This features the barest of plot, a bunch of horrible dialog, boobs and tame simulated sex scenes.

I'm in no way judging watching stuff like 'Scared Topless', but we don't have to lie to ourselves or others about it's lack of quality. If you want to see beautiful naked women you can do better. Unless all you have access to is cable TV at 3am.

This film is an odd duck. I wanted a giggle or two. I put this film on and was surprised to find it was a soft porn film.

There were some laughs to be had. The acting was about as good as I have ever seen in an adult film The music was genius - any track with the lyric "hump me - squeeze my boobies" is pretty special.

The Story deals with a group of students who visit a haunted house and have lots of fairly tame and 4th wall breaking bored sex.

Lets talk about these students. I know Students have a reputation for being poor, but these guys can barely afford clothes. They seem to have been struggling to pass their course though because some of them are in their late 30s poor things.

I don't have a lot of experience with this genre of films but the performers did an amazing job of not exposing even a wrinkle of genital. Honestly, it was amazing. Perhaps a nod of recognition to the director of photography, the director and the editor might be appropriate but I suspect they are one and the same person.

compliments are also due to whoever does the performers skincare products because they are all perfect and flawless.

Jim Wynorski's spoof lacks the freshness of his other horror movie parodies like House on Hooter Hill or Bare Wench Project. It has the flavor of "one more picture needed for my contract, so let's fill up the time with nasty sex scenes." Music covers the sound too often. The opening scene would have been much better if it didn't change to a film the characters were watching until it was ending. In fact in 20 percent of this the characters watch a movie or TV show of someone else. Jacqui Holland always seems to look away toward the camera or a corner of the room to show off her face, it's less exciting this time and more of a distraction.

Awesome movie with a good director and the actors were very helpful to attract people who were watching it to want to watch the film from beginning till end. Every scene was very watchable from beginning till end. The end of each scenes the actors would look at the camera, making you think you could act with them.