San Andreas Quake

The film gets 1/10 for the plot, but the acting is lame and unconvincing, the dialogue predictable, and the special effects laughable. Especially the hippo. Disney hippos were more convincing in Fantasia.

The stock footage of a giraffe in the African Savannah, shoehorned into footage of two people in an LA canyon took some balls. Also there is no way a couple celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary by buying a diamond necklace, would have booked a dirty bedroom full of cheap furniture and a nursing home chair in an expensive hotel.

Dreadful, dreadful, dreadful. Although it did make me laugh out loud several times, at each WTF!! moment.

Avoid.

The Asylum is back with another great Mockbuster. Having brought us previous masterpieces such as Snakes on a Train, Transmorphers, AVH: Alien vs Hunter, The Day the Earth Stopped, Paranormal Entity, and Sharknado.

I find it hilarious that these guys actually make money by tricking people into thinking it's a different movie. At least sometimes the title has a little creativity in it, and that's about it. But "San Andreas Quake"? They basically only have one job, create a title that will fool people into thinking it's a much better movie, and they can't even do that properly. What sort of title is San Andreas Quake? They aren't even trying.

This movie contains all the clichés from the 60's disaster movies with none of the saving graces. The only thing missing is Los Angeles turning turtle in middle of the Pacific Ocean and everyone climbing up towards the keel. There is even an old man having a heart attack climbing stairs.

Writing is terrible, the dialogue is pedantic, and the special effects are directly out of the 90's.

The characters are barely one dimensional and the plot totally predictable. Clearly the producers are counting on the confusion of names: "San Andreas" vs "San Andreas Quake."

Glad that I did not pay to see it, but I still want my 90 minutes back!

From the cinema trailer i expected totally something else. I literally wasted 80 minutes of my life. This crap movie does not either deserve one star. I think i can be a better actor than that second hand actors and i am a musician. So predictable, so lame, a piece of %%$# in other words. DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE! It's horrible. I can't even imagine that a movie can be so horrible. I though that i watch cartoons at some point. AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL MY RATING: -10/10. I can't even write something about this movie because there is nothing to write, it's a very very very bad scenario, forget everything i said. EVERYTHING is bad in this movie. Don't Watch it! You'l have nightmares.

It'd difficult to know where to begin. Firstly I guess it's my own fault for not looking too closely, but this wasn't the movie I was expecting to be watching. A friend of mine worked on "San Andreas", and I know his FX work is way better than I was seeing on screen. The next big mistake was to carry on watching it. What an absolute pile of trash. 80 odd minutes I've lost for all time. Please take my advice, don't bother watching this movie, It's VERY badly acted, technically..! It would be very insulting to decent film and media students to compare them. And the....... actually, there's really no need to break it down any further. It is simply AWFUL.