Cinquanta sfumature di nero

While not having particularly high expectations, it must be said, I did go into this film with an open mind. However only a few minutes in and I already felt the urge to leave and fill my brain with something less awful and mind rotting.

It's not just the non-existent plot and hammy acting that let this film down, although they were major factors, the chemistry between the two leads was like watching two planks of wood getting together. None of what I saw made me believe he was an irresistible sex god with a dark side. And with Ana, let's just say biting ones lip every time something is suggested gets a bit old.

Furthermore, without wanting to spoil, is her IQ supposed to be about 50? I have to ask because she pretty much agrees to everything he says, and not in a dom/sub kind of way, more just because she doesn't seem to have the mental ability to argue. You have to wonder how she's employed in the first place.

I've seen some absolutely dire films but I can honestly say this is the worst film I've ever seen.

You know what you're going to get when you watch this so why all the low ratings? It was never going to win an Oscar. It's a decent watch and I quite like watching how their relationship develops over the three films. It's easy watching and whilst I agree he can be a bit wooden at times, I think that's the point of his character. He's not comfortable with emotion! I think it's an easy watching love story and shows how two people develop and compromise when they love each other. Yes, it will never win awards but it is enjoyable. And for the record, I never read the books until years after they came out. I'm not a die hard fan of them at all as found them quite repetitive, but I did enjoy the films.

I sat through the last half of 50 shades darker today because my sister was using my Macbook to watch it... Let me sum it up for you:

Him: "I'm not good with people because I'm mysterious."

Her: "I like mysterious, but I'm scared cause I'm fragile."

Him: "Don't be afraid, I'm the one who is afraid... of hurting you."

*Have Some Sex*

Her: "You're so thoughtful, maybe I misjudged you. Now I want to be hurt... just not emotionally."

Him: "I always hurt people, but I would never hurt you... unless you wanted me to."

Her: "Ouch, you hurt me. Now my feelings are hurt and I'm sad and my whole life hurts."

Him: "I'm sorry if I hurt you. I'll try harder, but I don't think I'll ever change.'

Her: "I'm gonna pretend like I didn't hear that, but please don't hurt me again. I trust you to change for me- projects are fun."

Him: "Put these things in your ass."

Her: "No." Him: "Okay, I'm not good with people because I'm mysterious."

*Have Some Sex Again*

Aaaand Credits

One of the worst movies I've seen in years. Terrible acting, no plot and pointless sex scenes.

The predictable plotting and the boring dialogues makes this sequel automatically uninteresting. "Fifty Shades Darker" is worst than the first movie because the characters have learned nothing and repeat the exact same unhealthy relationship. The two beautiful protagonists do their bests to treating sex like a pleasurable activity but is not enough and the result is not good. The thriller narrative, involving persons from Grey's strange past, exposes the shallowness of the story. What made the first unit of this trilogy so much better than the current version is that everything was then new. But now that we are familiar with the equipment in Christian's lavish penthouse, the novelty is gone and the boredom is here.