Kartoffelsalat - Nicht fragen!

So before i want to start the actual review, i want to tell the readers of this review, that i'm from Germany and that my English is not perfect, so if you find any grammatical faults....I''m sorry :(

But nevertheless I'm going to review "Kartoffelsalat" now and let me say in advance, that if you already saw that movie and you are still somewhat sane... Congratulations for that.

Kartoffelsalat came out in 2015 and most of the cast, are German youtubers. If you don't know any German youtuber, you made some good decisions in life, because most of them are just bad.

The story is about an new guy at an school, who apparently is an loser. He struggles, with finding friends and starts loving an Girl, which already has an boyfriend. The typical story of an movie, that is set in an school. Shorty after that, there's an zombie outbreak at the school, which turns a lot of the students into zombies. (They really had to drag zombies into this, didn't they?)

If you watch the movie whole, you will notice that you probably didn't even laugh once, which is not surprising, because all the jokes, that they use are just bad and so weak, that even using them is extremely embarrassing. The only human beings, that will maybe laugh by watching this movie are children, who see their favorite youtubers in an movie.

As an example. My brother (11) likes this movie, because youtubers he is currently liking, are in this movie. The bad thing about the German YouTube scene is, that most of the popular German youtubers, are only popular, because of the young fans they have. This doesn't need to be an bad thing, but most of them youtubers, are just bad examples of adults.

But let's come back to the movie.

The good things about the movie are: the length....it's only 81 minutes long :)

The bad things are:

• the cast (the cast just sucks)

• the story (i mean, come on)

• the jokes (shouldn't an comedy movie, be funny?)

• everything (beside of the length, the movie has nothing going for it)

As for an ending, i would like to say, that you all should invest your time otherwise. There are a lot of other options, like playing an video game, do some extra hours at work, make an own movie (which would probably be better than this one.)

Just do anything, but don't watch that movie.

Really awful. Don't waste your time. Even if they give you money to watch it you will regret it and you will never take back that hours from your life. You will suffer and suffer. I prefer to go watching a horse race or ice skating rather then this fully rubbish movie. I could sit and do nothing and still I will be more happy than spend hours watching this thing. I mean who wrote this? Do they have a mind? Really? And how could you accept a role as a actor in such a ridiculous movie? Are you OK? Please tell me? Why did you do that to us? Why ?

I wrote this review and I'm still in pain because I've seen this movie . Seriously physically pain it hurts and I need healing asap.

Some people actually think that comedy is easy. Watch this to realize it's not. It's anything but. And while I don't know most of the people involved (especially the so called YouTube "stars"), they don't seem to realize how to tell a joke or have comedy timing for that matter. National Lampoon and many others have done the slapstick route and gone over the top with their stuff, but they could handle it.

This movie obviously can't. It also plays with a wink, doing it all knowingly. Which you have to be even better at acting and timing to pull off. It doesn't work. It's a car crash that you can see a 100 miles ahead at least. And if you're still watching it's your own fault. Wasting time was never so boring ... even if there is a final twist that tries to convince us otherwise ...

To begin with there are plenty of Youtubers which produce great content, like TotalBiscuit, Jesse Cox, Gimmeaflakeman; Jim Sterling and many others and then there are the others, the cash grabbers like most of the German YT community. This movie is the sorry example of a cheaply made cash in on the temporary fame of German YouTubers, most of them not known to anyone older than 13. This movie is almost an exact copy of their YouTube content, an unfunny and uninspired succession of lame jokes and stupid pointless blathering. If you want to spend your time doing something meaningful go watch some paint dry or just watch out of the window at 3 a.m. Believe me, it's more fun than this steaming pile of horse dung!

0/10

... comes together in this movie. Is it down voted? Sure. This movie was made by some you-tubers and somehow got a lot of hate because of that. But it definitely earns its 1-star-ratings. Its a major stinker. Not one of the kinds like "The room", "Turkish star wars" and the likes were they fail because they barely know how to hold a camera. Germany has a long history of spitting out a lot of bad comedy movies even since the 1950ies or so. Maybe so because in this genre you can - and a lot of people did - earn some cash with mediocre stuff. Made by you-tubers or not, "Kartoffelsalat" steps right into that heritage. Its not even unintentionally offensive like other bad movies. Everything is in there: - jokes (and we talk of a lot of stuff here) which were already lame in the time of our grandmothers and at which only six-year-olds would laugh at. - washed up older comedians and actors like Otto Waalkes which don't even seem to notice what a shite movie they are entering because they sold their last integrity years ago. While the young ones are so deluded that they think those cameos make the movie "cooler" - the old Seltzer/Friedman-thing of senseless spoofing the hell out of what its in their little minds ("Breaking bad" here, for example). One German celebrity named Jenny Elvers even spoofs her own former problems with alcoholism, yay. - a premise that is so unoriginal that you barely can believe this is done by young guys and not some old studio hacks. The premise - Zombies in a school setting fighting against losers - was even already done like this in another German called "Die Nacht der lebenden Loser"/Night of the living dorks. That was a mediocre movie, but this geniuses here set the bar much lower - an all-around atrocious cast. We seen more famous you-tubers fail when they do a movie, same here. I did not even see a video of one of their channels, and maybe they are more bearable there. Especially the main actor is clowning around in a super annoying way.